


Discordant

by sinecure



Series: Blind & Bound [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: AU, Action/Adventure, Angst, Captivity, Drama, F/M, Gen, Mystery, Romance, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-24
Updated: 2010-08-24
Packaged: 2017-10-11 05:45:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 65,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/109049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinecure/pseuds/sinecure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** Discordant (prologue)  
> **Character/Pairing:** Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie  
> **Rating:** Adult  
> **Genre:** AU, Action/adventure, mystery, romance  
> **Summary:** Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?  
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who.  
> **Author's Note:** This fic came around through a prompt given to me by momdaegmorgan. I wrote a short fic, which we both discussed and thought would be better as a longer one. And then NaNoWriMo came along. Now there are 13 chapters in the first story, and probably about that many in the second.  
> **Thanks:** to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing.

Gingerly touching her fingertips to her temple, Rose pushed herself into a sitting position against the wall. She was pretty sure she'd got head-butted. There was a large, tender bruise spreading across her forehead.

Maybe not just head-butted then.

Pain throbbed through her head with every movement, but she ignored it. She could handle a little pain. What was more important was that Mickey was on his way and she needed to be ready when he got there. Ready to escape.

Getting captured was a stupid mistake on her part. Not that she'd had a choice. The Larwurkin had stormed Torchwood without warning. How they'd managed to make it past security, fight off Pete and Ari and get out again, hauling her with them, she'd never know.

And poor Eric.

Fighting back tears, she decided she needed to do something to help herself before rescue arrived. She wasn't about to just sit around, nursing her injuries, waiting for them to come for her. That wasn't who she was, wasn't what the Doctor had taught her, wasn't what she'd learned in her Torchwood training.

So, she began by assessing the situation.

Her hands were tied in front of her, giving her only limited movement, and there was a strip of some kind of hard material completely covering her eyes. The blindfold was dark enough that no light penetrated it, and they'd attached it around her head somehow so that she couldn't get her fingers beneath it. Still, she continued to pull at it, hoping for any help she could get.

But it was no good. The blindfold wouldn't budge.

Sighing in frustration, she scooted around, placing her hands on the wall, feeling along it, inch by inch. It was surprisingly soft and sponge-like. She trailed her chipped and broken fingernails along the smooth surface, from one side of the room to the other, finding nothing to aid her escape. Nothing to keep them from killing her.

But they wouldn't do that, would they? Kill the only bait they had? Or was she a bargaining tool to get them safely off Earth?

The Larwurkin weren't fierce fighters, nor did they have the sharpest brains in the universe. Capturing one of Torchwood's employees was a mistake they might not live to regret if Mickey and Pete and Ari had their way.

She just hoped it wouldn't come to that.

After two complete circuits around the room, a wave of dizziness swept over her and she had to sit down again. She'd been here for hours, though it felt like days. It was cold and dark--she thought--and the walls were seamless, no doors or windows or anything else marring the smooth surface, nothing to provide her with a possible means of escape. And that was all she knew, all she'd been able to find out from her explorations.

The last thing she'd seen before General Br'ons motioned for her to be dragged away was an old, abandoned building on the edge of a large field. She thought maybe that was where they'd taken her. Surely their ship was hidden inside.

The silence, but for her own ragged breathing, was deafening, making her feel like she was stuffed in a cotton wool container.

Leaning wearily against the wall, she held her arms to her chest, trying to find some warmth. Her head was aching fiercely now and she wanted to just lie down and sleep, but she knew that she couldn't. Escape was her only chance. Mickey and-- and the Doctor were on their way, she just knew they were.

Head dropping to her chest, she decided to allow herself a brief rest. Just for a moment.

If the Larwurkin came for her, she wanted to be ready to fight them. Her Torchwood training would come in handy, but first, she needed a bit of a kip.

There was a jingling sound off to her right and she snapped awake, holding herself still. Sitting up, she shook her head to clear it from the fog threatening to engulf her. A minute later, all was still silent and she wondered if she'd heard anything at all or if it was just a dream.

Pushing herself to her feet, she called out, "Someone there?"

The soft, thick walls swallowed up her voice and she shuffled forward, hands held out in front of her. Her feet were bare and cold, moving hesitantly over the soft flooring. Shivering, she briefly rubbed her hands up and down her bare arms; the loose, thin clothing she wore doing nothing to ward off the chilly air.

She tried again. "Someone there?"

Silence enveloped her, and she realized she was alone once again. Still?

Staying where she was, she straightened her back, feeling the mantle of fear slip from her shoulders. She was a Torchwood field agent, a member of the best team at the London office. She could handle a few Larwurkin. Her weapons had been taken from her, but she still had her training to back her up. Panicking wouldn't help, calm would.

Repeating this to herself, she stretched and bent, working her body to warm it, make it more flexible in the cool air.

An hour later, she was still waiting. Her stomach was beginning to rumble, but she ignored it. And the image of the nice, thick, juicy steak that came to mind. Food wasn't important right now, the fact that she was beginning to tire was. She didn't want to relax again, didn't want to drop her guard.

There was another sound, to her left this time, and she spun around, shoving at the blindfold. It remained securely in place, and a bit of fear rose up in her, making her yank at it desperately. "Who's there?" she demanded. "Mickey, is that you?" She bit back the words, knowing it wasn't Mickey. Of course, it wasn't Mickey. He wouldn't be playing with her, taunting her. It had to be one of the Larwurkin. She straightened again and moved toward where she'd heard the sound. "I know you're there, so stop playing. Tell me what you want."

No answer.

She waited, standing in what she thought was the middle of the room, turning her head at every perceived sound, listening for the slightest noise--a stray breath, a footstep, anything--but only silence greeted her.

Clawing at the blindfold, she only ended up scratching the skin around her eyes and forehead. It didn't move, and finally, she dropped to the floor with a grunt of frustration, impatient for something to happen; to be taunted openly, or smacked around, or let free. For rescue to come.

Living in this limbo was hell.

Pressing her hands to her bruised head, she tried to keep her thoughts on the important things. Help would come. Mickey and Pete and the Doctor were on their way, if they weren't already stealthily sneaking around the ship looking for her. They'd come, and they'd get her out.

They would. She knew they would.

Trying to loosen the bindings around her wrists, she pushed back against the wall and rested, waiting, listening. Weariness settled over her again and she closed her eyes, or she thought she did anyway; it was difficult to tell when her default sight was blackness.

"The Doctor's coming for me," she whispered, needing to voice the affirmation out loud. The TARDIS was probably already on its way. They'd escape like usual and he'd fix her up in the medical bay and then they'd head off for planets unknown, or moons untamed. She just had to wait for him, give him a little more time.

Blind and bound, senses straining against their normal limitations, she waited.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Outside the door, Dr. Brons shut the small observation window on his patient. Mr. and Mrs. Tyler were going to be very disappointed.

Heaving a sigh, he headed to his office to make the call. Their hopes that the new medications would work were about to be dashed; Rose wasn't just delusional anymore, she was self-harming and completely unaware of her surroundings.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title:** Discordant  
> **Character/Pairing:** Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie  
> **Rating:** Adult  
> **Genre:** AU, Action/adventure, mystery, romance  
> **Summary:** Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?  
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who.  
> **Thanks:** to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing.

**(9 months earlier)**

Rose clicked the fasteners of her flak jacket closed, un-clicked them, shoved them in tighter to make sure they were secure, then smoothed her hands down the jacket. Looking up when Mickey shifted in front of her, she saw the tight-lipped expression on his face and sighed. "You know I have to go. I have to do this. We've been planning it this way for months."

He glanced away for a second as if reining in his temper, then stared intently at her again. "Let someone else have first go. It's too dangerous. You could get stuck there," he pointed out, "you could die. You could--"

"Stop," Rose warned him, scratching absently at the long, thin scar on her right wrist. "I can't let anyone else take the risk for me, Mickey." She grabbed a small, black device from the table behind her and turned back to him, wishing he could understand that she had to do this. Not just for herself, not just because it was dangerous, but for her own peace of mind. Slipping her stun gun into a pocket of her vest, she patted her other pockets to make sure she had everything.

"This isn't just about you, Rose. This is a Torchwood project that we're all involved in. Not just you." Moving closer, he lowered his voice, looking her in the eye. "This isn't just about finding the Doctor. Not for the rest of us."

For a moment, all she could do was stare at him, trying to figure out what he was on about. Of course this was about finding the Doctor. Of course that was the main goal.

But then logic crowded into her brain and she had to admit that, for everyone else involved, this had nothing to do with the Doctor; he was just a side project. Their main objective was to find and secure technology that might help Earth. This Earth.

Pete's Earth.

"I know that," she told Mickey, needing to push the words out past suddenly stiff lips. _Her_ main objective was not their main objective, and she had to remember that. She was making this first jump only because she'd brought the project to Pete's attention in the first place, then helped to complete it, through no fault of her own; something about the background radiation still gathered in her body had solved a problem they'd been working on for months.

Being the daughter of the head of Torchwood, hadn't hurt either.

So here she was, about to make the first universal jump since that day at Canary Wharf. A flutter of nervousness tickled her stomach. So much could go wrong here. And yet, so much could go right.

"Let _me_ go," Mickey offered, breaking into her musings. "Me and Jake. We can go." He nodded toward Jake, off to the side, talking to Tia and Liam.

Rose rolled her eyes, half in amusement, half in exasperation. "Really think the tenth time you say that is going to be the one that magically makes me change my mind?" He looked like he was going to continue trying to convince her, so she smiled and bumped his shoulder. "Mickey, I'm going."

Pete broke away from the team doctor, Santiago, and headed toward them, a small frown on his brow.

Before he could voice his objections again too, she reiterated, "I'm going."

Pete smirked a little, holding his hands up, having figured out by now that it was as useless to argue with her as it was to argue with Jackie. "All right, all right. It's your pet project." He watched as she zipped her leather jacket over her arsenal of weapons; stun gun, mace, tazer, and a few other non-lethal ones as well, some alien, some Torchwood. "Just wanted to say good luck."

"Thanks." Then she grinned, practically bouncing in place. It was time. Finally time. She'd been working toward this day for nearly four years and now it was here; she almost couldn't believe it. Excitement shot through her anew and she leaned over to kiss Mickey's cheek. "Don't worry. I can take care of myself now, thanks to you and Jake."

Mickey didn't look mollified. "That doesn't mean nothing'll go wrong."

Unwilling to let him ruin her mood, or diminish her optimism, Rose headed across the marble floor and stepped into the circle roped off in front of the computers.

In front of her, Pete and Mickey stood behind the scientists that were manning the bank of computers that would be controlling things during the jumps. Jake and Liam joined them, Jake tossing her a thumb's up. "Good luck, Rose!"

The nervousness was beginning to grow a bit. She glanced up from straightening her jacket and smiled, then gave a him quick double thumb's up.

"Everything ready?" Pete asked, peering over Ryan's shoulder.

"Powered up and awaiting go," Ryan told him, looking at his screen, as well as the one next to him. He tapped a few keys and peered over his glasses at her, grinning. "Ready?"

The nervousness ratcheted up another notch, and Rose gave him a half-hearted smile and a nod, too anxious to engage in chitchat. She shifted restlessly in place, un-clicking the fasteners on her flak jacket before clicking them locked again, wanting to go, wanting to be out there exploring a new planet, finding the Doctor, but she knew Pete had to be thorough.

Safety first.

Sighing impatiently, she darted a look around the brightly lit room, marveling at how different it was from when they'd first arrived here. An old shell of a building built on the site of the Powell Estates, the hotel was vastly changed from the abandoned dump of their first few days. It'd been nearly three years now, and it was hard to tell this place apart from Torchwood itself.

As Ryan, Tia, and Duane tapped on their keyboards, doing all the technical things that were driving this experiment, she stretched her neck and shoulders, preparing for anything. Just in case. Her hopes were that she'd jump universes and immediately find herself back home, but that was probably just wishful thinking.

Truth was, she could jump every day for the next ninety years and never find the Doctor again. Twice a day even.

But that wasn't something she was allowing herself to think about. She would make it back home, she would find the Doctor, she would travel with him again.

In the meantime, she had this first task before her. Hop a universe. Just once.

If it didn't work this time, the disappointment would level her. The project was heading into its fifth year now. The first two were spent working on the device and retrieval unit, the last two on trials. And they'd all been dismal failures. This time though, everyone had his or her hopes up. They'd done a successful jump with a retrieval unit embedded under the skin of a cat, and returned that cat safe and sound, complete with void stuff.

She scratched at her arm again, running her thumb over the scar that'd been left behind after the implant of the retrieval unit. Pulling her sleeve back down, she sighed and looked to the group of six before her. They were awaiting Pete's okay.

Pete, for his part, was bent down, peering into a monitor as Duane and Tia worked around him and--she felt her heart sink--there was a frown on his face.

A groan escaped her as she saw her chances of jumping today slipping away. He wouldn't allow her to go if there was the slightest chance that something could go wrong.

"Pete?"

He glanced at her, then back down at the monitor in front of him. "It's fine." He straightened, frowning at her. "Are you sure--"

"Let's go," she told him, not wanting to go down that road again. Yes, she was ready to go. She'd been ready for years. Anticipation was humming in her, making her want to move, to go, to leave. "Yeah?"

Tia nodded, sitting at her computer with a distracted air, tucking her short black hair behind her ear. "Go from me."

"Looks good, Mr. Tyler," Ryan told him, frowning at his screen, the text from the monitor reflecting off his glasses. He tapped a few keys. "Yeah, go from me too."

He kept glancing up from his monitor at her and she tried not to notice. He was worried, she could see it in his furrowed brow, and the way his shoulders were more hunched than normal, but she couldn't stop to mollify him and Mickey and Pete and all the others. Really, she just wanted to be out there again, exploring new places.

After a few tense moments, Duane gave Pete the thumbs up and began to type rapidly, glancing at all the other monitors around him as if he just couldn't keep his attention on one thing at a time. His shaggy brown hair shook with every movement.

When Dr. Santiago gave a curt nod, Rose grinned. Slipping the dimension cannon from the inside pocket of her jacket, she waited for the final approval from Pete.

Mickey crossed his arms over his chest, staying a step behind the others, glowering at her.

Pete, sleeves rolled up and tie loosened, looked hard at her and moved around the tables of equipment. "It's in the safe?" he asked in a low voice, catching her eye.

She lost her grin and nodded, feeling her heart sink just a little. "Yeah. She knows, but, tell her I-- I had to do it." There was a possibility that she wouldn't get back. Mickey was right; she could get stuck in another universe, die, get lost hopping from one universe to another and not get back to either one she'd lived in.

But she needed to do it, no matter the risks.

"All right," Pete sighed, cupping her shoulder lightly. He squeezed it briefly, and she thought for a moment that he was going to hug her, but then he pulled away, clearing his throat, and stepped back. "Good luck."

Pushing away the disappointment, knowing that he was only protecting himself in case she didn't come back, she waggled her fingers and pressed the button on the dimension cannon. "Catch ya on the--"

Pain shot through her chest, ripping and tearing her to shreds, pulling her apart, separating her into a billion pieces and then mending her back together slightly off-kilter, off-center.

She dropped to her knees on the cement, falling forward onto her hands, retching.

Body aching, she gasped for air, digging her fingers into the gravel on the hard cement to ground herself. She felt tenuous, like she was floating, about to drift off into space. Dizziness swamped through her and she pressed her hands harder into the ground as she retched some more.

The nausea roiled in her stomach, but she was able to keep from throwing up, only just barely.

Closing her eyes, she sat back on her heels and breathed in deeply. In and out. In and out. Her stomach slowly settled down, and she began to take in the details around her. The air smelt different. Not as clean... more like home. She could hear cars passing down the street, children laughing in the courtyard to her right. Someone shouted in the building behind her.

Breathing in one last, deep breath, she let it out in a rush and opened her eyes. The cement beneath her was familiar. She'd walked it a thousand times growing up. The Doctor had parked the TARDIS here a dozen times. Peering into the sky, she squinted at the sun, holding a hand up to block out the glare.

Blue sky... empty, blue sky.

No zeppelins. No clouds. No shadows darkening the day.

Excitement shot through her, spurring her to her feet. She whirled around, grabbing at her stomach as it rolled uncomfortably. The Powell Estates were there, big as life! Grinning wildly, she ran toward them, feet pounding on the cement, breath hitching in her throat.

Was it possible that she'd actually made it home on the first try? Was this _her_ universe?

There, the cement was busted and cracked in the same spot as in her universe. The grass was worn off by the sidewalk. Yanking the glass doors open, she heard the same creak, felt the same heaviness. Dashing up the stairs, stairs she'd run up and down thousands of times, she felt the loose one at the top of the first flight, shifted to take her weight from the wobbly railing on the next.

Grin growing wider, she dashed up the last flight and stopped at the top, looking down the hallway toward her old flat. Her home. The place she'd lived in from day one, until a man came into her life and swept her off her feet. A longing went through her, and it surprised her, because it wasn't a longing for the Doctor, it was a longing for her old life.

Just her mum and her, living in their old flat, with brightly colored walls, and clients passing through all day, the smell of hair coloring, the snip of scissors. Gossip being traded and passed on.

Those days were gone now.

These days she spent her nights in her flat in London. Her mum spent her days and nights with Pete in their mansion when she wasn't out shopping or mingling with her friends.

Nostalgia with her every step of the way, Rose started down the hall toward her flat. It was bound to be inhabited by someone else, perhaps a new family, but she needed to see it. To breathe in what might be her old home.

Passing a newspaper, she grabbed it and unfolded it, scanning the stories for a hint to this universe. There was a prime minister, and it wasn't Harriet Jones, which was promising. Weather, mild, rain expected tomorrow. There was an incident at Adipose Industries. She'd never heard of Adipose Industries though, so that wasn't a help. Glancing at the date, she felt her heart sink.

18 Septemberus 2008.

This wasn't her universe, unless they'd suddenly adopted a new way to spell.

A door opened down the hall and she dropped the paper, heading toward the stairwell. Dashing down them, feet clunking on the metal steps, she glanced up when she heard heels just starting down behind her. There was a glimpse of a charcoal grey skirt, and white blouse. Why she was running, she wasn't sure, but she didn't fancy running into an alternate universe's Jackie. Or even herself.

Slamming open the doors to the Powell Estates, she sprinted across the lawn and around the corner of the building, pressing her back against the cool brick, panting, trying to catch her breath.

A few seconds later, the doors opened again and a young woman with short brown hair exited the building. She was wearing a smart business suit, grey skirt and jacket, with a white blouse beneath. Rose didn't need to see her face to know who it was. Those were her legs, her back, her shoulders... only the hair was different.

Being the only Rose Tyler in Pete's World, she'd never had the unique experience of being faced with her double as Mickey had. As her mum had in being the mirror image of a dead woman.

All Rose had to deal with was the memory of a dog that died a year after her owner had.

But, this... this was something that was an altogether different experience. She felt a sense of surrealism strike her, like she was outside her body, watching herself walk away, and yet, still occupying her body. As she walked past and continued on, Rose felt an excitement pump through her.

This was what she'd loved about traveling with the Doctor. Well, aside from actually being with the Doctor. Stepping onto new planets and discovering new sights and smells and sounds. New people, new animals, new cultures.

The nostalgia kicked up a notch to include her life with the Doctor, but that was nothing new. Not a day went by that she didn't miss her life with him, her life in the TARDIS; more especially, being with him. And if she had her way, she'd get back to him someday, but right now, her curiosity was getting the better of her.

She glanced around, checking to make sure no one was close enough to see them. Rose's friends and family had to know she didn't have a twin, so she'd have to be careful not to be seen. But she also had to know: what was so different in this Rose's life that she wore a suit to work? With a last glance up at the building she'd called home for nineteen years of her life, she hurried after this universe's Rose Tyler.

Not too much was different, she thought, as the other her hurried down the street to catch the bus.

They made it to the stop just as the bus arrived, and Rose hung back as the other her mingled with the five people already waiting. She kept her face down, huddled into her jacket and let her hair swing into her face as she paid, hoping the coins would take. Taking a seat behind a woman and her little girl in a red cape, she sat across the aisle and a few rows behind Rose. No one noticed her, or paid her much attention, so she was free to watch to her heart's content.

The other her sat confidently, shoulders straight, head up, dark brown hair brushing lightly against her neck, which was exposed for a few inches. Her legs were crossed, and she looked like a professional.

Were they headed to Henriks?

Was this Rose a manager there? Did she give the other employees their marching orders?

But, no. Fifteen minutes later, they exited the bus and hurried down a street in the opposite direction from Henriks, Rose trailing behind her doppelganger, mentally building a whole life around this woman. A good life, a better one than she'd had, but maybe not as fulfilling. Perhaps she was just a paper pusher and didn't get any joy out of her job, her friends, her life. Maybe she was waiting for the Doctor to come and rescue her from her dead end life.

Where was Mickey?

Grey-clad Rose hurried into a small office building; a dentist's office. Ah. Secretary? Receptionist? She was too young to be a dentist, though maybe she was going to school for it.

Good on her.

Rose hung around outside, watching as the other her went about doing her morning routine before opening the office. She filled the coffee pot, turned on the lights, and set about making some calls. Just a few minutes later, a man entered the building. He was wearing a suit, looked well off and-- oh.

Apparently they were an item. At least, she thought so, what with the way they were going at it. He pressed her against the door, snogging her senseless.

Rose Tyler was sleeping with a dentist. A doctor. Well, at least one of them was.

Sighing, she turned away as the blinds were shut so forcefully they swayed back and forth.

This wasn't her world, but it was a nice one. No Daleks, no Cybermen, no giant spaceships buried beneath the Earth filled with spiders. Just a nice, normal world.

She grinned; the Doctor would hate it here.

The Doctor. Fumbling in her back pocket, she pulled out her mobile. How could she have forgotten? Flipping it open, she pressed the button for the TARDIS and waited, just in case. This wasn't her world, her universe, so it shouldn't work. But if it did...

No signal.

Sighing, she slipped it back into her pocket. Of course it wouldn't work here. It was stupid of her to even think it would, but now she knew for sure. And it could be a good indicator on each jump. She just had to remember to--

She gasped, feeling a tug in her chest. Felt herself splitting apart, knew what was happening and had no way to stop it.

They were pulling her home!

She fisted her hands, allowing the sensations to sweep through her, to tear her asunder, then put her back together wrong. Lights, bright enough to blind, surrounded her, and then something dark and black swept in front of her face. She tried to blink, to move, to take a breath, but she was suspended, frozen.

Then she was free and she dropped to the floor and threw up.

Muffled sounds penetrated her brain, swimming in and out of range as she trembled and retched. Body shaking with chills, she struggled to hold herself upright, losing the fight with each passing second. Colors floated behind her eyelids, swirling into focus only long enough to become a smudged blur and then they retreated.

This was worse than the first time.

Her head was screaming at her as it tried to explode. Exhausted, she rolled to the floor and onto her back, blinking up at what was undoubtedly the ceiling, three floors above her, as black and white shapes blocked her vision. Her mouth worked, but slowly, her ears were still only allowing muffled sounds through, and her eyes were trying to alternately blind her and block her vision.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, then another, relaxing into the cold marble beneath her, listening for one sound; she focused on it. An alarm.

Frowning, she listened to the noise for a few seconds, before recognizing it as a mobile ringing.

As if pillows were removed from her head and sand was swept from her vision, the world snapped into focus and sights and sounds returned. Too loud, too bright.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she rolled onto her side, covering her ears with her hands.

Pete was shouting, Mickey arguing with someone. Tia, she could hear, was calling out vitals and someone was leaning over her, touching her, burning her with something. She jerked free and scooted away, wincing as sharp pinpricks went through every bit of her that came into contact with the floor.

This was so much worse than the first jump.

Santiago knelt beside her with a penlight that he clicked and aimed at her eyes. Pain shot through her and forced a scream from her throat.

The room fell silent and she huddled into a ball, drawing her knees to her chest. "Don't touch me," she mumbled, words slurring as she fought to learn how to reuse her mouth. She held her hand out, halting Mickey and Santiago's advance. "Don't touch... it hurts. Just-- just don't."

"Rose." That was Mickey. He knelt in front of her, keeping his hands by his sides. The concern on his face made her want to smile, though she didn't think her lips would obey her mind. "What is it, babe? Are you all right?"

She wanted to tell him to stop calling her that because Tosh didn't like it when he called his ex-girlfriend babe, but all that came out was, "Fine." She gasped as the pinpricks turned into razors. Tears sprung to her eyes and she rested her forehead on her knees to keep them from being seen. The pain was unlike anything she'd ever felt before and it seemed to be clawing its way through her body inch by inch. "Why did you bring me back? Why did you-- I wasn't ready yet."

"I'm sorry," Pete said from her side. "But we agreed on a ninety minute window and you were gone for two hours and twenty-three minutes."

Rose frowned, gasping as the pressure on her chest began to tighten. "It was only thirty minutes."

Someone moved closer, and she could've sworn she felt the air around her brush against her body, scraping her skin raw. But that was impossible. "Give her some air," Santiago told Mickey and Pete. "Rose, can you describe the pain?"

She knew he was a doctor, knew he was there for her health, to make sure nothing happened to her or anyone else who jumped, but she felt like she was being assaulted on all sides and she wasn't ready to answer any questions just yet. Shaking her head, she kept silent, concentrating on breathing in and out. In and out.

Minutes passed and the pain began to lessen. The nausea started to subside as well, leaving her shivering and exhausted, but no worse off than she'd been after landing in the other universe.

In fact, she felt better than that.

As suddenly as it all began, it all disappeared, and she was left with just a memory of the pain.

Raising her head, she drew in a deep breath and settled her hands carefully, gently, on the cold marble floor. No pinpricks. Just solid floor. As she attempted to push to her feet, Pete settled his hand on her shoulder, holding her down.

"Let Santiago check you over first, and then you're getting a complete physical." His no-nonsense frown graced his features so she sat back down with a sigh.

"I'm fine now." She rolled her eyes, allowing Santiago to peer into them with his penlight. "It's gone."

"Let him be the judge of that," Pete told her.

Mickey nodded at her, still looking worried. "What happened?" He scooted closer and tentatively put his arm around her, afraid of hurting her.

She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder as Santiago moved on to checking her ears and reflexes. "Universal traveling is a bitch."

*~*~*~*~*~*

The sound of a soft click behind her, made Rose roll her eyes. "Mickey, stop playing with that." Glancing behind her, she saw him pressing the instrument he'd just pulled free back into its holder. "You're such a kid."

Sighing, he shoved his hands in his pockets. "Please," he scoffed, eyeing her with a grin. "Like you didn't go around playing with things on all those planets and space stations and stuff with the Doctor. I was with you on that space ship."

Straightening her gown around her, she sniffed. "'Course not." Her grin couldn't be held back any longer, and she let it out as Mickey pointed and snickered at her. "Shut up."

There was a knock on the door and Rose called out a hearty, "Come in," pulling the covers further over her waist. Her eyes widened when the door opened and a flood of people poured through.

"Congratulations!" they yelled as one, Mickey joining in and circling the bed to stand by them as they began to cheer.

Tia held up two bottles of champagne as Duane passed out glasses. Pete circled the bed to stand by her and leaned down to whisper a proud 'congratulations' of his own.

Rose grinned back and adjusted the covers around her. "Guys, really? I'm in a hospital gown with my bum hanging out."

Laughter broke out.

Someone handed her a glass, spilling a little over her hand. She licked it, then wiped it on the blankets as Pete cleared his throat and moved back. She saw him accept a glass, then leave as the rest of them crowded around and shot questions at her, talking over one another.

Her head, though it was better now--in fact all of her was better now--began to spin and throb lightly at all the noise. Santiago was running a few more tests while she waited, but all she wanted to do was go home, or at least get out of this exam room. He'd basically given her a clean bill of health aside from a lack of iron, and she didn't see why she needed to remain here for the results of the tests.

Still, this was nice; seeing all of her friends, and part of her family, gathered around, celebrating the success of a project they'd been working toward for four years. Even if they were a bit loud.

Liam held up his glass and shouted for silence, his dark brown eyes scouring the crowd for loudmouths to glare at. Once silence fell, he cleared his throat and turned to Rose. "First jump for mankind," he intoned dramatically before he was cut off by shouts of laughter and good-natured grumbles. With a wink, he chuckled along with them. "To Rose."

"To Rose!"

Glasses clinked together; champagne spilled and dripped to the floor.

Mickey slid his hand in hers under the sheet, and knelt beside the bed to look her in the eye. "To Rose." His grin faded to a tender smile. "My hero."

Rose rolled her eyes, toasting with him. Turning her gaze on the rest of the group, she felt his hand tighten on hers.

It was nice, but it wasn't the hand she wanted holding hers.

*~*~*~*~*~*

An hour and a half later, Santiago finally released her. Just when she was ready to scream.

She and Mickey left Torchwood Estates; the nickname they'd given the building the dimension cannon project was housed in. She felt perfectly fine now, as she'd told Santiago a thousand and one times.

His further tests had found nothing wrong with her. Apparently the implant had caused her body's reactions. It'd heightened everything to the point of pain, causing her body to react badly to outward stimuli. Santiago and Duane had recalibrated it for her specific physiology based on readings from the data they'd collected from the implant itself.

As they left the building, Rose put her hand over her eyes, shielding them from the early afternoon sun. Glancing up, she squinted at a passing zeppelin. "They didn't have any there." She dropped her hand as the zeppelin soared in front of the sun, blocking it from view.

"I can't even remember what that was like," Mickey said with a sniff, rubbing his hands together. "Cold out here." Bumping her shoulder with his own, he grinned. "Was it warm there? Maybe we could use it as a holiday spot. Imagine it, a veritable home away from home."

"No, ta." Shoving her hands into her jeans pockets, she glanced around at the city that was so familiar, and yet, so different. No Powell Estates here, just a rundown hotel, gutted a dozen years back by a fire. There were no other buildings around it anymore, just fields that stretched out for a mile in either direction, which made it perfect for their uses. "It was weird, Mickey. I really thought I was back home. At least here it's obvious." Shrugging her jacket tighter around her, she rubbed her arms, pretending it didn't hurt to be back in Pete's World.

It wasn't her home. She couldn't ever think of this universe as home. Hers was back with the Doctor.

But, she often wondered if she could think of this place as her home if the Doctor were here with her. She'd easily come to the conclusion that she could. But he wasn't here, and he wouldn't ever be, so it didn't really matter one way or the other.

As they reached their cars, she stopped, digging in her back pocket and pulling her mobile free. "Didn't work over there. I thought it might, but... what if I can't find it, Mickey? What if I can't get back home? Back to him?"

He wrapped his arms around her, hugged her to him and she allowed herself to relax into his arms for a few moments, breathing in his familiar scent. "You'll find him, Rose. Anybody can, it's you." Pulling back a bit, he smiled lopsidedly. "Told you before, it's always gonna be you and the Doctor, no matter what. Even separate universes can't keep the two of you apart."

She smiled a bit, wishing she had his confidence. "Yeah."

Opening his car door, he nodded toward the passenger seat. "Lunch?"

She eyed her own car, then his Torchwood-supplied black SUV. She'd been on one too many chases with him, tracked down one too many aliens with Mickey behind the wheel. He enjoyed it way too much. Might just be lunch, but she knew him. He'd have his foot down the whole way.

"Meet you there?"

He shrugged and got in, shutting the door and powering down the window. "Duffy's?"

"Yeah," she called over her shoulder, as she unlocked her car; a nice, compact little silver sedan. She climbed in, and buckled the seatbelt, checking to make sure it clicked tight, then pulled on it a few times.

Half of her wanted to run back inside and demand that Pete let her jump again, the other half of her was dreading it. Yeah, they'd figured out it was the implant, and it shouldn't happen next time, but she wasn't looking forward to finding out if they were wrong.

With one last look at Torchwood Estates, she followed Mickey from the lot.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title:** Discordant  
> **Character/Pairing:** Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie  
> **Rating:** Adult  
> **Genre:** AU, Action/adventure, mystery, romance  
> **Summary:** Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?  
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who.  
> **Thanks:** to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing.

Rose fiddled with her fork, nodding, though her mum couldn't see it over the phone. "It was a false lead, yeah. No, I'll be in the office the rest of the day."

As her mum rattled off the details of her morning, Rose sipped her water, slowly eating her steak, humming responses and affirmative answers when needed. What she really wanted to do was dig into her meal. She'd been craving steak for days now and she was starving.

Mickey smirked at her as he devoured his burger. He'd already made fun of her for ordering such a big meal, and hadn't let up since it'd arrived.

"Yeah, Mum, I know." Sighing, she took another bite of steak and stuck her tongue out at Mickey when he once again eyed the huge hunk of meat on her plate. Shoving her hand over the mouthpiece, she whispered, "Shut up."

He snickered and shrugged, shoving a couple chips into his mouth.

"No, I remember. I'll be there." Stealing a chip from Mickey's plate, she dipped it in some salt and bit into it. "Yeah. Yeah, I know. Mum, he's my brother, 'course I'm gonna be there." When she reached for another chip, Mickey smacked her hand. "Oi."

"Eat your giant slab of meat there," he laughed, biting down on the last chip and chewing heartily as she hung up.

Tossing her mobile on the table, she ignored him and tucked into her steak. "Don't forget Tony's party. Mum'll have a fit."

"Tosh won't let me. She got him this computer learning thing the other day that she's all geeked out about." Tossing his napkin on the table, he sat back, watching her.

"Bet you tested it out," she snickered, stabbing her last bite of steak, hoping he wouldn't begin with the questions again. She'd had enough of them during her exam, and in the days since. From all quarters. There wasn't much else she could tell him. And it wasn't going to happen again they'd assured her, so what was the point? Pushing her empty plate away, she sat back.

"You ready for your jump today?" He scratched the inside of his wrist, running his thumb over the long, thin scar there as he looked across the street, then back at her again.

"Yeah," she muttered, taking a gulp of her water. Jake, Mickey, and Liam had all jumped since her first one, and gone through the process with no problems, but she was still a little nervous about going again.

*~*~*~*~*~*

An hour later, Rose was back at the old abandoned hotel dubbed Torchwood Estates, eager to get the jump part over and done with before she psyched herself out of it even further. Pete had allowed Santiago to set the schedules, and he'd chosen a three-day period of rest between jumps, although she hadn't strictly been resting.

The stress on her body had taken its toll that first night--she'd slept twelve hours and only woke up when her mum dropped by to check in on her--but the next day she'd felt strangely energized, ready to get back out there and explore.

That could've had something to do with all the protein she'd been devouring. Something she'd been craving since her jump.

Or it could just be that, being out there, on another planet, had been so much like it used to be with the Doctor that she'd felt excited about something for the first time in a long time. This was her life now. No longer was it just getting up and going to work where she sat behind a desk all day, identifying aliens and tech.

No longer was it watching everyone else work toward finishing the cannons, or being examined for background radiation and void stuff.

Even after discovering the experiments to break through to other universes, she hadn't allowed her excitement to take over. The Doctor had told her it was impossible, and if it was impossible for him, it had to be impossible for them too.

Didn't it?

But the technology was created, the trials conducted, and now that she'd made the first jump, she was eager to start again.

Entering the lobby, she shrugged out of her jacket and strode across the black and white checkered flooring to where the check-in desk normally would've been, but was now where the computers and monitors, wires and cords, and other tech that she didn't have a clue about were set up.

Tia and the others were there, talking quietly.

"Hey," she called out as she approached. "What's going on?"

Duane pointed to the exam room Santiago had claimed as his own, but it was Tia who answered. "Liam had a bad jump. Got tore up pretty badly by... something. He said it was green," she added as she leaned down to grab a box of files from under the table. It slid free with a dusty scrape.

"And scaly," Duane interjected, tapping on his keyboard. He stopped and turned the monitor toward Rose, showing her a sketched image of a tall, thin, scaly green alien. "With tentacles. Look familiar?" Shoving his hair from his forehead, he peered at her.

Rose sucked in a breath at the creature. "Nope. Looks nasty though. Is Liam gonna be all right?" She turned to the table set up with her equipment.

"He'll be fine," Duane assured her.

Flak jacket, weapons, and cannon were all lined up neatly on the table, ready for use, but there was a second set there as well. "Someone else jumping today?"

Standing up, he looked over her shoulder at the equipment. "Yeah, the kid."

She cocked an eyebrow at Ryan, who'd been quieter than normal. He wasn't that much younger than the others, in fact he was older than her, but Duane called him that just to annoy him.

He was silent, looking over a readout on the other side of the tables, which wasn't unusual. He'd never been the first one to start jabbering, but he usually had at least a hello for her. Working as closely together as they had--her Ryan, Tia, Mickey, Duane, and the others--it wasn't surprising that they'd become friends. They'd spent hours in the hotel, and at a nearby pub, trading barbs and insults over the past few years. Mickey had been the one to bridge the gap between them, forcing Rose to participate in pub-crawls, and, after a while, she'd actually begun to enjoy herself. To count them as mates.

They knew who she was, how she was related to Pete, but they also knew her as the resident alien 'expert', and they'd accepted her.

But none of them had expressed a desire to jump. They'd all agreed that her, Mickey, Liam, and Jake were mental for wanting to do so. They knew what was involved in the dimension cannons, and the technology that was sending them back and forth. They also knew what was out there, and it scared the hell out of them.

So why was Ryan now jumping?

"What's he--"

"Mr. Tyler's making him." Tia joined her by the arsenal as Rose shrugged into her vest and cinched it tight, checking all the fastenings twice. "Said you need a tech with you in case something goes wrong. He's putting one of us on every jump."

"What?" That was just stupid. Why would Pete want to endanger two lives instead of just one? "He's making you lot jump?"

Duane shook his head and leaned back in his chair, folding his big hands across his stomach and rocking back and forth as he watched her. "Not us. New guys."

She frowned at Ryan, who turned toward them. He looked a little sick, but not as afraid as she'd expected. "Why Ryan then?"

"When Tyler said he needed someone to jump with you today," Tia interjected, red lips turning up in a smirk, "he volunteered."

Rose drew in a breath and turned back to her weapons. Slipping the stun gun into its pocket, she picked up the tazer. "Oh." She was aware of Ryan's crush on her. Had been since Mickey pointed it out, months before, but she hadn't allowed it to come between them. Hadn't said a word to him, didn't let on that she knew. She just treated him like a bloke, a mate, a friend, nothing more.

But if he'd volunteered to jump with her, then she was pretty sure this went beyond just a crush. And that was a problem.

She had no interest in him as anything more than a friend. He was smart, fun, good looking, and a charmer, but her heart was taken by an alien with a penchant for pinstripes and Chucks. No one knew that though, no one but Mickey, Jake, and Pete. The rest only knew she was searching for a man called the Doctor; they didn't know why.

Nor did they know that when she found him, she'd leave this universe forever for him.

Ryan came over and stood beside her, looking at the weapons and tools every jumper had to take with them.

"You don't have to do this, you know." She pulled her mobile free of her back pocket and slipped it into a front pocket on her jacket. Turning to Ryan, she took in his pale face and pinched mouth. His blonde hair had more color to it than his face did at that moment.

But he stood up straighter and grabbed the flak jacket from the table, wincing a bit as the plastic clasps scraped against wood. Slipping his arms into it, he fastened the clasps determinedly and then patted it down, pulling on the bottom to straighten it out. "I know." His eyes took in each of her weapons and the pockets they were placed in, then he began to fill his own.

"Then why are you?" Shrugging into her blue leather jacket, she leaned a hip against the table, ignoring Duane and the others, who she knew were listening to their conversation.

"Because I want to," he said clearly, looking her in the eyes. A moment later, his bravery took a hit when the door across the room opened and Pete came out. Ryan jumped, startled, darting his eyes about nervously.

Duane and Tia chuckled behind them, but Rose didn't find it amusing. This was dangerous, and her putting her own life in danger was one thing, someone else doing it for her was something else entirely. She had training, she'd been taught at Torchwood, and Mickey and Jake had taught her some down and dirty defense techniques. Taking care of herself wasn't a problem, but taking care of Ryan as well was not what she'd signed up for.

As Pete crossed the room, she stopped him, drawing him away from the others. "Why the techs?"

"Rose, what happened to you after your first jump could've happened on the trip out instead of in. I don't want to take the chance that you, or any of the other jumpers, are endangered because of a faulty piece of junk in your arms."

"Well, yeah, I get that," she agreed, glancing over his shoulder at Ryan. "But we need people with training, Pete, not..." she nodded toward the four self-described geeks, one of which was attempting to lean nonchalantly against the table the weapons had been spread out on, though he looked more awkward than relaxed. "I mean, Ryan--"

"Volunteered so that you could jump today, and I didn't make the decision lightly, Rose." He turned to face the younger man, eyes assessing him quickly. "He's had military training. He'll be fine for one jump. Next time, we'll have someone else ready." Turning back to her, he clapped her shoulder. "Until then, he's the best we've got. Unless you'd prefer not to jump today?"

Rose watched Ryan with this new knowledge. Military trained. Okay, maybe he wasn't so bad. Maybe he could look after himself so that she wouldn't have to. "No," she sighed, hoping she didn't come to regret the decision. "I'll take him."

Conversation over, Pete headed back to the computers.

Rose sighed again, double-checking her weapons. Everything seemed to be there. Crossing to the designated area, she gestured for Ryan to join her. He leaned down to grab a blue jean jacket, then crossed quickly to her side. "When'd they implant you?"

"Few hours ago." He pulled down the sleeve of his black shirt, one of the turtlenecks Torchwood field agents were given for missions, although they hadn't been using them for jumps. She and the other jumpers dressed in plain street clothes. Right now, Rose was wearing a pink t-shirt and jeans, trying to look like an average person to fit in to whatever environment they found themselves in.

"What's with the shirt?" she asked, thinking he actually looked quite handsome in dark colors. She'd only ever seen him wear white dress-shirts and slacks.

"Thought I'd fit in better like this." He pulled the sleeves down again and shrugged his shoulders, straightening his vest as he swung the jean jacket over it and thrust his hands into his pockets. He grinned cheekily. "Not as geeky."

She chuckled and turned back to Pete, waiting for the signal. Pulling her cannon free, she nodded for Ryan to do so as well. He slipped his free, and stood tall and straight next to her.

Pete nodded to them both, slipping his hands into his pockets. "When you're ready."

Rose glanced at Ryan, seeing his green eyes on hers, waiting for her. "Ready?" She took a few deep breaths as nervousness and anticipation suddenly slammed into her, seeping into her bones. Dread was making its way through her as well and she found that, all of a sudden, she couldn't make herself push the button.

"Yeah." His hand hovered over his cannon as his eyes studied her face. Seeing her not moving, he frowned and leaned down, voice not carrying beyond the two of them. "Rose?"

"You've been calibrated, right?" It was a stalling tactic, but her hand was frozen, her muscles unwilling to let her move anything other than her mouth. "The implant, you're--"

He nodded and moved in front of her, blocking her from the others, concern shadowing his face. "As much as it can be calibrated without having jumped first. We should be okay though, so long as we get back before they pull us through." Resting his hand on her arm, he squeezed lightly. "All right?"

His touch seemed to give her the power to move again. Her muscles unlocked and she took in another deep breath, shifting her shoulders back. The panic was easing, slipping free under his concerned gaze. "Fine," she mumbled, rubbing her hand over her face quickly. "I'm fine. Let's go." And before she could think about it, she slammed her hand down on the button and felt that familiar tugging on her insides, ripping her to shreds and then piecing her back together again.

She landed on her feet, but staggered forward a step, knocked slightly off balance as Ryan dropped to his knees beside her. She didn't feel the nausea and roiling stomach this time, just a sense of being off-center somehow. Shaking it off, she glanced around them and took in the world.

Darkness seeped around them as moonlight fought to illuminate the streets, but the trees and buildings kept it from hitting anything too close to the ground. They were near the Powell Estates, but there were no flats there. Behind her, there was a hunting shop with Grandma's Eatery beside it. All of her childhood memories were gone from this place, plastered instead with a row of shops.

Ryan continued to retch on the ground, so she left him to check out their immediate surroundings. Typical business street. Rows of shops lined the way, while sidewalks ran in front of them. They were standing in the middle of the street, which thankfully, wasn't busy.

In fact.

Standing in the very center, she glanced both ways, not seeing a single pair of headlights. Pools of yellow light glowed on the pavement through low-lying fog in regular intervals, but no cars as far as she could see.

This wasn't her universe, unless they'd torn down the council flats and rebuilt in the five years she'd been gone. But she took out her mobile anyway and flipped it open. The lights glowed, but when she pressed the button to ring the TARDIS, there was nothing but a crackling sound.

Tossing a look over her shoulder at Ryan, she saw him slowly climbing to his feet. He looked a little better and was steady on his feet. She joined him, crossing the street again, but stopped when she heard a distant, rhythmic pounding. "Do you hear that?" she asked.

He swallowed and listened intently, then turned his head to his left.

She turned to her right, staring into the gloom. Unfastening her jacket slowly, she pulled her stun gun from its pocket and backed toward the sidewalk.

Grabbing her arm, Ryan dragged her to a nearby dumpster, spray painted with graffiti, and ducked down, pulling her to the ground beside him.

"What're you--"

"We don't know who they are," he whispered, holding a finger to his lips.

_Fingers on lips!_

Blinking past the ghost memory, she realized he was right. On the one hand, she wanted to press the button and go back. To not deal with this right now, because it wasn't their problem, whatever it was. This wasn't her universe.

On the other hand, she felt a thrill strum through her veins, sending her to the edge of excitement and back again. None of those planets that the Doctor saved had been his own, and yet, he _had_ saved them. He'd stuck around and helped, and there was no reason she couldn't wait this out, see what was happening.

She had the cannon and the implant, and though she'd rather use the cannon to return, the implant was there if needed. If she-- they... if _they_ got captured.

Sighing, she realized that she couldn't put Ryan in danger just to satisfy her own excitement or her wish to be back with the Doctor again, even just by feeling closer to him by doing what he did every day. What they used to do together. Pulling her cannon from her jacket, she was about to motion for Ryan to do the same, but he shook his head, grinning a little nervously, curiosity on his face.

"Let's stay for a bit," he whispered as the pounding sound suddenly grew deafening, moving closer and closer.

Footsteps, she realized, eyes widening. Cybermen.

But, the steps didn't sound as hollow and metallic as the Cybermen, though they were disconcerting enough that she shook her head. "I don't like the sound of that. We should go," she said hurriedly, having to speak louder to be heard.

Ryan reached into his jacket, but instead of pulling out his cannon, he drew his stun gun, eyes trained down the street. "No. I want to see what they..." his eyes widened and he let his breath out in a rush, "are."

Rose looked down the street and froze. They were alien, and they were marching in line as they moved down the street, but they weren't made of metal. They had huge guns resting in their huge arms. _They_ were huge, as well; everything about them was big, larger than life. Their bodies were well over six-and-a-half feet tall, encased in dark red leather, and their heads!

They looked like snakes.

Something darted across the street, directly across from them. Just half a street ahead of the patrol.

"There's a kid over there!" she shouted, climbing to her feet, shaking off Ryan's arms as he attempted to yank her back down to safety.

"Rose, they'll see you," he shouted back, standing beside her, still hunched over to keep his cover behind the dumpster, "you can't just go swanning over there and--"

She huddled down as well, keeping her eye on the kid as he ran down the street. He was only about five, probably lost and terrified. "I can't just leave him there!" The aliens were even with them now, but they didn't turn their heads, didn't look around at all. Examining their faces this close up, she realized that they didn't need to; their eyes were on the sides of their heads.

It didn't matter; she couldn't leave the kid on his own. Turning her stun gun on, she darted out into the street, ignoring Ryan's shout, and his pounding feet behind her. She ran past the contingent, feeling fear pump through her. This wasn't unlike what the Doctor did, and, she realized, it felt fantastic!

No wonder he put himself in danger all the time.

She glanced over her shoulder at the aliens, and saw them drawing their guns. Lifting her own, she stunned the one on the end, closest to where Ryan was running past them. The alien shook and jittered for a few seconds as a blue halo encircled him before dropping to the street with a loud thud in the sudden silence as the patrol came to a halt.

Ryan took her cue and stunned the next alien, leaving only ten more.

In unison, they raised their guns with a loud clicking sound, aiming them directly at her.

"Oi, oi, over here," Ryan yelled. Rose watched them over her shoulder, just a few yards from the boy now. She waited to see what they would do. Whether they'd shoot them and the kid and just keep going, or if they'd take them to whoever their leader was.

The patrol turned as one to face Ryan. "You will stop."

With their attention on him, Rose darted toward the kid, who'd stopped as well, and was standing in the middle of the street, watching everything with wide, frightened eyes. She ran and grabbed him, drawing him with her to the side of the street, hoping the darkness would cover them. But the boy struggled against her, wriggling in her arms and freeing himself.

He backed away from her and began to cry.

Rose glanced at the patrol, dreading what she'd see, but when she turned, Ryan was still standing there, guns aimed at him, hands in the air. His stun gun was dangling uselessly from his hand.

"You will stop," they thundered at Rose, half the patrol turning to her.

Rose scoffed and grabbed the boy again, holding him to her, turning her body to keep him behind her as he continued to struggle and cry against her. "Hold still," she whispered.

"Why are you harming this citizen?" one of the aliens asked her.

Shoving the boy further behind her, she snapped, "I'm not. I'm saving him from you."

A few moments of silence passed as the patrol blinked their yellow eyes a few times. Then the spokesperson spoke again. "You will be arrested. Please step away from the citizen."

Rose scoffed and shook her head. "Yeah, I don't think so."

Clearing his throat, Ryan shook his head at her. "Rose."

A sharp pain shot up her leg and she looked down at the boy, who kicked her again, then squirmed out of her startled grasp. Running to the patrol, he grabbed the leader's leg and hid behind him, peering fearfully out at Rose and Ryan.

Okay, this wasn't good. Straightening up, she turned more fully to the patrol, slowly raising her hands into the air. "Uh, I thought he was... I-- I thought you were--"

"You will be quiet and join the other citizen while we arrest you."

Moving toward Ryan, she toyed with the idea of pressing the button in her wrist, but the memory of that first jump back via the retrieval unit had her staying her hand. She wasn't looking forward to the return trip at all, but if she had to make it, she wanted it to be by cannon.

When she reached Ryan, she raised her brows at him. He nodded minutely, lowering his hand toward his jacket as she did the same. Seeing the lead patrolman stomp toward them, she stopped trying to be stealthy and yanked her cannon, smacking the button down just as the trooper grabbed her wrist.

Her stomach pulled and pieces of her fell away and were replaced quickly, hastily. Then she was back in the hotel, none-the-worse for wear, except for the snake-headed alien still clutching her arm. He, on the other hand, was bent over, gasping for breath. Ryan grabbed him, yanking him away from her and wrestling him to the ground as Pete started toward them with a gun aimed at the party crasher. Duane, and Tia both stood up, fumbling with guns, training them on the alien.

"No!" she shouted, pushing Ryan away. "It's all right, I'll be right back." She held on to the back of the patrolman's leather jacket, fingers clutching tight to avoid losing him in the void, then slapped the button on her cannon and felt the familiar tugging once more.

When they landed in the street, the other snakeheads raised their guns in her direction, but she was gone before they could shoot.

Once again, she was tugged and pulled at. Black shapes swam in front of her eyes, and then she was falling, dropping to the hard marble. She landed heavily on her side, smacking her head into the floor. Tears sprang to her eyes and she knew, as her vision swam in and out, that she was going to be feeling it for days. Already, her side was bruising.

Ryan dropped down beside her as Pete and Santiago rushed over.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she groaned, pushing up with only a little help from Ryan.

Pete glared at her as she sat up. "What were you thinking? You know you can't jump twice this close together--"

"He didn't do anything wrong." Santiago helped her to her feet and she bit back a cry of pain when she put pressure on her right leg. "I was just taking him back to his home before you lot killed him. Seriously, what's with the guns?" She glared back at Pete. "Non-lethal, remember? We were going to stay--"

"That was before Liam was attacked by a-- a... whatever it was." Turning away, he dropped his arms to his sides and sighed heavily, running a hand through his thinning hair. "He was torn up pretty badly, Rose. We can't take chances with this. I'm sorry."

She watched him walk away as Santiago drew her in the opposite direction, toward the exam room.

"You won't be jumping for at least a week, Rose," Santiago told her. "I'm sorry."

She limped her way alongside him, unable to argue with that advice because she felt rather horrible at the moment.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title:** Discordant  
> **Character/Pairing:** Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie  
> **Rating:** Adult  
> **Genre:** AU, Action/adventure, mystery, romance  
> **Summary:** Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?  
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who.  
> **Thanks:** to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing.

Peering out from behind the leather cloth hanging over her hiding space, Rose saw his gaze turn toward her and she ducked back again. He was there, watching, waiting for her to show herself, but she wasn't stupid enough to be seen. She was better than that, smarter than him. He might be small and cunning, but she was cleverer.

His blonde hair, sticking up on top, and his dirty face, made him look innocent enough, but she knew better, knew there was a slyness that hid behind those wide blue eyes that searched endlessly for her. He was sure to spot her soon.

Swallowing, she peered out again, moving around to the other side of her hiding spot, keeping him in sight the entire time. A moment passed as his gaze darted this way and that, closing in on her location.

Tired of waiting, she decided just to end it. Jumping out, she crouched down, reaching for him. "Gotcha!"

Tony jumped in surprise, shrieking with laughter.

"Rose," Jackie hissed, hanging the silk blouse she was looking at back onto the rack before hurrying over. "Will you stop it? You're acting like a child." She glanced around nervously at the other shoppers, who weren't even paying them any attention, and grabbed Tony's shoulder. "Him, I can understand, but you--"

"Oh, come off it, Mum." Smiling down at Tony, she took his hand and tweaked his nose. "We're just playing."

"My turn to hide," Tony said excitedly, and Rose grinned at him. He twisted and turned, trying to free himself from Jackie. "Mummy," he whined. "I gots to hide now."

"Have to," Jackie corrected automatically. "And, no. No more playing, sweetheart." Sighing when Tony pouted at her, she gestured at the racks around them. "Why don't you find yourself something, Rose?"

"I don't need any clothes. I just came to spend time with you and Tony." Tightening her hand around her brother's squirming one, she pulled him back beside her, letting out a pained wince when he smacked into her leg, clinging to it. "And because I had some unexpected time off."

Jackie glanced back at her with an appraising look. "You could use some new trousers. Those are hanging off of you." She sniffed sharply, placing a powder blue blouse over her arm before continuing on to the next rack. "And don't think I don't know."

Rose busied herself with glancing down at her jeans to keep the panic seeping into her at her mum's words from showing on her face. "Know what?" she asked mildly, wondering if it were possible that her mum had found out about her trips through universes. Did she know about her search for the Doctor? If so, she was being awfully calm about it. Rose had expected shouts and accusations, screams of how she was ruining her life for a man--no, an alien--that she wasn't even sure loved her back.

But Rose did know.

His last words rang in her head just as clearly as if he were standing there beside her saying them.

_And, I guess if this is my last chance to say it. Rose Tyler..._

In the beginning, those words had driven her mental, imagining what he'd meant, what he'd been about to say before he disappeared, leaving her behind on that cold, wet beach. She'd carried them with her for the first year of her life here in Pete's World.

The silence after her name had just about killed her.

But now, three and a half years after arriving in her adopted universe, she'd learned to let it go. Mostly because she was actually doing something. Being proactive in getting back to him. Now, she didn't care what he'd been about to say. Whether it was, 'Rose Tyler, I love you' or, 'Rose Tyler, I see an orange'. It didn't matter. She didn't care. All that _did_ matter was what he'd say when she found him again.

And she would, she had to.

So, it didn't matter what her mum said, what Pete told her, what Mickey cautioned, she would get back to the Doctor and she'd spend the rest of her life with him. She'd give him her forever.

Now, those words were a comfort, something to look forward to hearing, because she knew how it would end.

"Rose," Jackie called, staring at her closely. "Where'd you go?"

Shaking off her nostalgia, she blinked at her mum. "Sorry, was just thinking. What were you saying?" She lifted Tony up onto her unhurt hip with a dramatic groan, sinking under his weight. "You're getting too old for this, kid."

"Put him down, Rose, you're spoiling him." Jackie held up a black t-shirt and raised her brows questioningly.

Rose shook her head and Jackie put it back.

"Anyway, I was saying that I know that you're hurt. Pete told me about the wynd-- wyndel... the," she leaned close and whispered, "_alien_," before straightening up again, "that attacked you on your last assignment."

Closing her mouth on angry words, she nodded and made a face at Tony. "He shouldn't have told you."

Tony stuck his thumbs in his ears and waggled his fingers while puffing his cheeks and sticking his tongue out.

"Oh, come off it," Jackie told her, looking angrily over her shoulder at her kids. "You know he only told me because he knew I was meeting you today and I'm not blind. You can't walk without wincing." She hung a pair of slacks back up and tossed behind her, "And you've got a limp."

Rose shrugged and pinched Tony's nose until he let his breath out with a giggle, following behind Jackie as she made her way toward the purses. "It's just a little bruising," she mumbled offhandedly, hoping Pete hadn't got specific with his lies. She wished he hadn't said she'd been attacked. Better to tell her mum she'd tripped and fallen like a clumsy oaf.

Tony leaned his forehead against hers and stared into her eyes. "You have owies?"

"Yup."

He put his hands on either side of her cheeks and squeezed until her lips pursed up. "Do they hurt?"

"A little," she admitted, though the pain wasn't nearly as bad as she'd expected. It was only when she was on her feet a lot that she began to ache. She had black and blue bruising all up and down her right side, from shoulder to ankle, and it was a bit of a hideous sight with all the mottled coloring and swollen bits. But mostly it was just show. The pain, she could handle. It was the constant presence of Mickey and Jake that she was beginning to grow annoyed by.

And Santiago's visits every few days to check on her, to make sure she wasn't overdoing it.

And one sweet visit by Ryan, though it'd been a bit awkward as well.

"I've got some too," Tony told her, pushing back his sleeve to expose a scab on his forearm. He wriggled in her grip until she set him on his feet, then grabbed at the leg of his jeans, drawing it up as he peered at her. "Fell off the swings and it had dirt and things in it." He held his leg up so she could see the scrape on his knee, then lost his balance, catching himself on her leg.

She turned her wince of pain into one of sympathy. "Do they hurt?"

Shoving his jeans back down his leg, he shook his head and stood up straight, mimicking Mickey's tough guy look. "Naw!

Glancing over his head with a smile, she spotted a red and white shirt. Moving closer, she picked it up and held it out to Jackie. "Shareen would love this. Think I'll get it for her."

Jackie put her hand on Rose's arm, halting her. "Sweetheart, there is no Shareen in this universe, remember?"

Rose's head snapped toward her mum and she blinked in confusion, fisting the blouse in her hands as she remembered. Remembered that she wasn't in her universe. Remembered that Shareen didn't exist here. "Right. Of course."

"Rose?" Jackie said softly.

She smiled, hanging the blouse back on the rack. "Just a slip," she told Jackie, not allowing the loneliness, the ache she felt in her chest, to show. She didn't want Jackie to know that she still missed Shareen. Still missed all of her mates and the people who'd been in her life from her first memories to her last.

Jackie must've seen it anyway though, because she reached over and hugged Rose close for a few moments, and Rose clung tightly to her.

Tony looked from one to the other. "Who's Shareen?"

*~*~*~*~*~*

Rose glanced at her mobile on the coffee table in annoyance. This was the third time it'd gone off in fifteen minutes. Sighing and rolling her eyes, she dropped her feet off the edge of the table to the carpet and grabbed the phone, flipping it open. "Yeah?" Eyes still on the folder in front of her, she examined the files inside, trying to place the name and planet of the aliens it described.

She knew them, but she couldn't remember _why_ she knew them.

"Rose? There you are, I've been ringing you for ages." There was a lot of background noise, people talking, and what sounded like Tony giggling and shouting. "Where are you?"

Tearing her eyes from the file, she stared at the wall across from her in the dim light. She hadn't turned the lamp on yet, she'd been so busy studying the files that she hadn't even noticed night falling. "I'm home, Mum, working. What is it?"

"Tony's birthday party, Rose. You're late." She lowered her voice and Rose got the idea that she didn't want Tony to hear her. "He's waiting for you. Don't let him down."

Frowning, she shoved the mobile between her shoulder and ear, reaching over to snap on the lamp. She blinked at the sudden brightness. "But, that's not 'til tomorr--" glancing at her watch, she saw the date and sat up with a curse. "Sorry, Mum, I didn't realize, I was swamped with files and-- I'll be there in a few minutes. I'm heading out the door now." Tossing the folder to the table, she stood and looked around for her shoes and keys.

"You work too hard, Rose. You really should--"

"Not now, Mum, chew me out when I get there." She snapped her phone shut, grabbed her keys and Tony's gift and headed out. Halfway to the door, she suddenly realized she was in her pajamas and a robe. "Crap." Dropping his remote control truck to the couch, she ran to her bedroom and quickly dressed.

*~*~*~*~*~*

As soon as she arrived, Tony jumped at her, trying to grab his present from her hands. She grinned, holding it up out of reach. "Oi, what do you say?"

He smiled sweetly and stood still, looking up at her. "Gimme... _please_?"

Snickering, she handed him the brightly wrapped gift.

Tucking the package under his arm, he grabbed her hand, trying to pull her with him to the front room. "Come on, you've gotta see what Mummy and Daddy got me." But then he couldn't seem to hold in his excitement any longer and blurted out, "It's the big Conan the Destroyer action figure I wanted _and_ it has all the weapons and stuff _and_ the giant alien thing he fought in the last movie!"

"Hang on, hang on," she told him, freeing her hand from his. "Can I take my coat off first?"

Sighing heavily, and bouncing in place, he shrugged, then ran off to the front room with a quick, "Hurry," tossed over his shoulder.

Jackie entered the elaborate foyer, Tony plowing right into her. She dodged to the side, losing her balance for a moment before bracing herself on the doorjamb. Tsking after her son, she shook her head and crossed over to Rose. Her heels clicked on the marble tile with each step and she rolled her eyes and pulled them off one by one, sighing as she sank down to the floor.

"Give me trainers any day," she told Rose, hugging her quickly. "Glad you could make it."

Rose shrugged out of her coat and hung it on the rack by the door. "Told you, I was working. I lost track of time." Pushing her sleeves up, she headed toward the front room where it sounded like recess at a schoolyard. Standing in the doorway, she eyed the children running about, yelling and playing and laughing in the large room while Pete, Mickey, Tosh, and Jake huddled in one corner, avoiding the kids. "You know I wouldn't have missed his birthday party on purpose," she told her mum, glancing over as Jackie joined her.

"I know," Jackie conceded, "but you've been working so hard. Even Pete comes home once in a while."

Smiling softly, Rose watched as Tony freed his new truck from its box and crowed over it, kids surrounding him on all sides, chattering. "I don't live here anymore, Mum. I have my own flat." Flattening her back and hands against the doorjamb, she faced her mum, really looking at her for the first time in a long time.

She looked tired, but happy.

Her gaze was on her son, watching as he, and a few of the other kids, tried to put batteries in the truck and remote control. Pete moved over to help him, and contentment stole over Jackie's face. "I just wish you'd come home more often," she told Rose, turning her gaze back to her. "You're my daughter, and I love you. We all do. Tony adores you. But we hardly ever see you anymore. Only for an occasional shopping trip once a month."

"My job doesn't exactly keep regular hours." Closing the distance between them, she hugged her mum, breathing in her familiar scent. No matter what universe, no matter what her financial circumstances, she always smelt the same, like lilacs and tea. It was one of the most comforting scents in the world.

All worlds. All universes.

The only thing that could top it was the Doctor's smell, and that was the smell of the universe itself.

"Rose, glad you could make it," Pete said, coming up beside them.

Pulling free of her mum, Rose smiled at him, then glanced over at Tony. "Seems to be the consensus. Sorry. I was looking over some files, forgot the date." Tony steered his truck into the leg of a chair and the crowd of kids cheered.

Frowning, Pete scratched the back of his head. "I didn't realize-- ow!" Bending down, he picked up the truck that'd just crashed into his ankle and handed it back to Tony. "Careful with that," he said, rubbing his hand over his son's blonde hair.

"Daddy, come here, watch what I can do," Tony said excitedly, high on sugar and juice and being the center of attention. Grabbing Pete's hand, he dragged him to the middle of the room.

Pete tossed a shrug at them and let himself be dragged away.

Feeling an uncomfortable shot of jealousy go through her, Rose turned away, heading down the hall toward the kitchen. The noise receded as she turned a corner and pushed through the double doors into the nearly empty room. She heard her mum come in behind her and sat down at the island with a sigh. "Tony seems happy."

Jackie grinned, heading for the teapot on the stove. "Of course he is. He's just like you at that age. Always liked a party, you did." Turning the stove on, she glanced back at Rose. "Let me make you something to eat, sweetheart."

Rose eyed the giant birthday cake in front of her. "No, Mum, I'm fine." Scooping a finger in the icing on the side of the green, alien-laden slime cake, she sucked on it and watched as her mum put together a tea tray. Another wave of nostalgia broke in her and she realized suddenly why she was feeling this way so often lately.

If--_when_\--she found the Doctor, she'd be leaving them; her mum, Tony, Pete, Mickey. She'd never see them again. Blinking back tears, she felt her chest tighten, and sat up straighter on the stool.

She'd never see her mum again.

And Tony. Sweet little Tony, who, as her mum had just pointed out, adored her.

As Jackie finished fixing the tray, the cook, Shea, came in, bustling over to the stove.

Rose blinked back tears, wiping hastily at her eyes before Jackie could see them.

Reaching out for the tea tray Jackie had prepared, Shea nodded at Rose and smiled at Jackie. "Mrs. Tyler, I'll get your tea and--"

"No, no," Jackie told the taller woman, keeping a hold of the tray and pushing by her as she headed toward the island. "I've got it, Shea." She set the tray down and began pouring the tea. "You've been here all day, preparing for the party. Why don't you go on home now? You know I like to do this myself." She gave the older woman a smile and patted her arm. "We'll be fine."

Shea sighed, frowning down at Jackie and rubbing the back of one hand with the other. "If you're certain, Mrs. Tyler."

"Go on," Jackie said kindly, shooing the woman out.

With a last look at the two of them, Shea left the kitchen.

Jackie sat down across from Rose with a sigh. "That woman is a blessing." Pouring the boiling water over the tea, she shook her head. "It's a bear getting her to go home though." She smiled a little and pushed a mug toward Rose. When Rose did nothing more than wrap her hands around it, she tilted her head and leaned forward, looking closely at her daughter. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

Startled that her mum had noticed her preoccupation, even if she didn't realize it was with the past, Rose looked up and shrugged. "Nothing's wrong. I was just... thinking."

"You've been doing that a lot too. Almost as much as you work." Taking Rose's hand in both of hers, she leaned over the island, resting her elbows on the wooden butcher block. "Honey, I know you're not-- but I hoped..." she sighed and sat back, still holding Rose's hand. "I hoped you were moving on. Mickey told me about that Ryan fellow who--"

Rose pulled her hand free and sat back, staring at her mum. "What? He had no-- Ryan is just a coworker, nothing more, Mum. And I'm not going to... he's just a coworker. All right?" Getting to her feet, she stared down at her mum. "I love him, Mum, I love the Doctor, and that's not going to change overnight."

Jackie climbed to her feet as well, rounding the island. "Overnight? Rose, it's been over four _years_. You're not going to see him again, you need to--"

"Don't." Letting the tears prickling her eyes slip free, Rose shook her head and backed away, wanting to tell her mum that she _would_ see him again, that she would find him and travel with him. That she was searching for him every time she went to another universe, and Mickey was too, and all the other jumpers as well. They were searching for the Doctor for her.

But she couldn't. Couldn't let Jackie know about the project.

Instead, she just mumbled, "You don't understand."

Mouth tightening, Jackie slammed her hand down on the counter. "You think I don't know what it's like to lose someone you love? I lost your father when you were just a baby!"

Rose brushed the tears from her cheeks angrily, a little startled at her mum's assertion. "But you got him back! You got a brand new version of him back to play house with, complete with a new kid!" Rose spun around and nearly tripped over the remote control truck. Tony was standing in the doorway, holding the controller up in front of him with both hands, looking back and forth from Rose to Jackie.

"You lost daddy?" he asked slowly, still looking from one to the other.

Rose knelt down, shaking her head, blinking back the tears. "No, sweetie, she didn't lose daddy." Kissing him on the forehead, she hugged him tight, then stood up. "I'm sorry, Tony, I can't stay for the party. I have to go." Moving around him, she hurried through the hallway, grabbing her coat from the rack and slamming the door behind her as she left.

Out in the cold night air, she took a deep breath before shrugging her arms into the sleeves.

Perhaps she was overreacting, but her mum didn't understand. It wasn't the same as when she lost her husband in the other universe. At least she'd known he was dead. Known she could never, ever have him back with her again. For Rose, it was the possibility of seeing the Doctor again one day that was alternately killing and saving her.

She'd try to get back to him until she no longer could. And even then, it'd take a hell of a bloody lot to keep her from continuing to try.

Heading toward her car, she stretched her neck muscles, deciding that she wasn't going to wait another day to make a jump. She needed to go again now.

While Pete had Liam and Jake and Mickey out there searching for technology they could use to defend the Earth, she was the only one actively searching for the Doctor. Oh, they'd all been given the TARDIS phone number, and Tosh had amped up their mobiles with the same modifications that the Doctor had used on hers, but she was beginning to wonder if anyone but Mickey even bothered trying.

He was the only one who knew how much she cared about the Doctor, knew what an extraordinary man he was. If there were universes out there that they were visiting and not checking for the Doctor in, then she'd just do it for them.

Slamming her car door shut, she shoved the seatbelt into its lock and started the car. Pausing for a moment, she stared at the mansion the Cybermen had attacked, the place this universe's Jackie had spent her last, final hours in. A place she'd spent time with the Doctor in, not thinking that someday soon, just weeks in their future, she'd be separated from him for years with the chance of never seeing him again.

Pressing the button on her seatbelt lock, she undid it, then slammed it back inside until it clicked satisfyingly.

After pulling tightly on the belt, she left the memories behind and headed to the hotel.

*~*~*~*~*~*

It was quiet and dark this time of night. When there were no jumps scheduled, only a few people stayed behind to keep an eye on things. What those things were, she had no idea.

Her keycard easily opened the front doors, and without a second thought, she strode across the foyer and straight to Tia.

Tia turned at the sound of her footsteps, smiling in confusion. "Oi, what're you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at your brother's birthday party?"

Rose shrugged out of her jacket and tossed it on the table that usually carried her weaponry. "I was. Now, I'm here." Leaning a hip against the edge of the table, she crossed her arms over her chest. "I wanna jump."

Chuckling as if she'd made a joke, Tia shook her head, sending her short, black hair flying, and tapped a few keys, looking from one monitor to another. "Yeah, right."

"No joke," Rose told her, crossing to the armory and grabbing what she needed from inside. "I'm jumping. Now."

"That's not going to happen, Rose." Tia stood up and moved around the computer table, heading for the coffee pot beside the armory. "You trying to get me fired, or do you just like pissing off the boss?" Refilling her mug, she crossed back to the computers and sat down, watching as Rose continued to pull out weapons and fill the pockets of her flak jacket. After another minute of silence, she insisted, "I'm not letting you jump."

"I have to." Rose closed the armory door a little harder than she'd intended, cringing when the sound echoed throughout the room. Slipping her mobile into the front pouch of her flak jacket, she threw her own jacket back on over it. "It's fine, really. I just need to go to the universes Liam and Jake have already been to."

"Why?" Tia wasn't really interested, Rose knew. She sounded distracted as she tapped on her keyboard, frowning at the screen for a moment before typing something rapidly.

"I have to go," Rose told her, fingers playing with the hem of her jacket, eyes on the floor. It was hard to say this, to admit it to anyone but her mum and Mickey. Pete knew. Of course he knew. But she didn't like discussing her feelings with anyone outside of that small group, and she didn't often do that either. It was something she liked to keep to herself, keep close to her heart. "I have to find the Doctor."

Tia spun around in her chair, eagerly facing Rose. "Ah!" she crowed, then droned in a dramatic voice, "the mysterious Doctor. A man who can travel through universes." Chuckling to herself, she continued in her normal voice. "Although, if he can travel through universes, why doesn't he come here, instead of you going out looking for him?"

Lifting her eyes to Tia's, Rose sighed, wishing it were that easy. Wishing that was the only hurdle keeping them apart. "He can't travel through universes. He just doesn't belong to this one." Blinking back the tears that seemed ever-present tonight, she whispered, "Neither do I."

Tia peered more closely at her, and Rose knew the pain she felt at being separated from the Doctor was plain on her face. Her hurt was obvious, and it didn't take long for Tia to notice. She drew in a breath in realization. "You're in love with him," she said softly.

Rose just looked back at her, not agreeing, not denying, not sharing any more than she already had. "I have to find him." Sighing, she rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache coming on, probably from crying so much tonight. "Liam and Jake's mission is to find alien tech that Pete can take to Torchwood for Earth's defense, that's their main objective. But, on the side, they're supposed to be checking for the Doctor as well. Are they?" she asked, leaning forward, sliding her hands between her knees. "They don't... they don't understand why I'm trying to find him. Why I _need_ to find him. Maybe they haven't actually been checking."

Tia frowned and turned back to her computer, typing quickly, then ran her finger along the monitor as scrolls of data flew by. She pressed a button and read, eyes moving rapidly over the words. "How can they though? A universe is a big place, and finding one man in an entire universe... it'd be bloody impossible."

Feeling a smile slip up her lips, Rose shook her head. "Not this man. Impossible isn't a word he says a lot. In fact, just-- just once. But, he was wrong." Shaking herself, she sat up and drew out her mobile, holding it out. "This is how we're trying to contact him. He did something to it so that it can call anywhere in the universe at any time."

"Time?" Tia asked, scooting forward to take the phone. She immediately popped off the back and began to examine the inner workings. "Do you mind if I...?"

"No, go on." Sighing, Rose stood up, pacing from the jumping area to Tia. "I have to go, Tia, I have to. If they're not trying to contact the Doctor, then--" kneeling in front of Tia, she drew in a deep breath, fighting for the words to explain herself.

But Tia took pity on her. She closed her eyes with a groan. "You're so going to get me fired."

Seeing her waffle, Rose seized her chance. "No. No one has to know. We can do it late at night, like... now. Every night after their jumps, I can just hop into the same universe--you have the coordinates to send me there--try to call him, then pop out again. No one needs to know," she repeated.

Tia didn't look completely convinced, but she was definitely headed in that direction. "Santiago says it's too dangerous--"

"Santiago is covering his arse. There's no reason for the jumps to be spread out. Nothing's happened since that first time." Pushing to her feet again, Rose paced away, turned back, and gestured in frustration. "Please, Tia. I just... I need a chance to find him."

Biting her lip, Tia swung her chair back and forth before letting out a sigh. "All right--"

Rose threw her arms around the other woman with a shout. "Thank you, thank you so much!"

"All right," Tia said in annoyance, having to speak up to be heard. She got to her feet, pointing a finger as Rose reached past her to grab her mobile, then straightened her jacket. "But, only long enough to phone this Doctor guy, and then you come back. Straight back."

Grinning, Rose agreed. That's all she needed; enough time to contact the Doctor if he were there, and then she'd be back. Not enough time to get into trouble. All she had to do was be careful and keep her head down. No one would be the wiser. Especially not Pete. "Straight back," she agreed, slipping her phone into her back pocket before heading toward the jump area. "How long do you need to set it up?"

Tia sat back down with a grunt. "Just a few minutes. I'll set you up for Mickey's first jump."

Rose shook her head. "I trust Mickey. He's been phoning the Doctor. It's Liam and Jake I'm not sure about." Jake knew the Doctor, but he didn't get why she wanted to return to him. Didn't understand that she was so deeply in love with him that she'd do anything--anything--to get back to him.

Anything to see him again. To touch him again.

Her smile slipped a little. This wasn't a foolproof, guaranteed-to-get-back-to-the-Doctor plan. It was a second start, but it wasn't an end. Hopefully it would lead to one though.

Tia tapped a few keys with finality, then caught Rose's eye. "Ring him and then straight back."

"Ring him and then straight back." Feeling lighter than she had in months, she waited for the okay and prepared for her first jump in over a week.

*~*~*~*~*~*

It was a bit disappointing. She'd expected something exciting, something... different. But this Earth was just like hers and just like Pete's except for the pink sky. It was noon or so, according to the angle of the sun, but the sky was pink. Judging by the lack of panic in the streets, this was normal.

Rose's favorite color might be pink, but it was a bit much, even for her.

Pressing by a couple who were so wrapped up in one another that they didn't see her until they'd nearly collided with her, she crossed slowly to a bench and sat down, giving her tired leg a rest. The couple stopped as well, and she averted her eyes when the boy pressed his girlfriend against a tree, kissing her slowly, languidly. Jealousy pulsed in her and she quickly lifted her face to the sky, inhaling the scents of this planet.

This universe.

Pink skies, and yet, everything else was the same. Aside from a tint that made everything look softer, nothing else was different. Green leaves, brown tree trunks, white clouds. It was sort of calming and soothing, like being wrapped up in a blanket and peering out through it.

This was Jake's first jump. He'd come here and spent an hour in total. An hour checking out the local population, examining their level of technology, then assessing whether it was worth coming back. He'd deemed it un-worthy and she could see why.

There were payphones on nearly every corner still, and not one single person was using a mobile. The cars were similar to the ones back home and in Pete's World, but they looked a bit bulky. Boxy too, and clunky. She could tell there wasn't a lot to this society that might be of use to them unless they were hiding it all underground and the military was in control.

That was possible, completely, entirely possible. Her own universe had Torchwood, same as her new one, but Torchwood back home was secretive, keeping everything for themselves in their ruthless pursuit to find the Doctor and better their defenses, not just against invaders of Earth, but other countries.

Glancing down at the sidewalk, she examined shoes as they walked past. It was an indicator of the society at large. Fancy shoes, trainers, heels, or Chucks, what the common people were wearing showed what the world was wearing.

And this world was wearing trainers from her mum's day. The cars were similar to then as well.

Sighing, she moved past the two still-snogging teenagers, curtailing her envy long enough to slip behind a newspaper stand to pull out her mobile and dial the TARDIS.

Static greeted her, and she snapped the phone shut, shoving it back into her pocket.

There was nothing here. Not the Doctor, not any technology that would make it worthwhile to return. But it was pretty. Turning for one last glance at the scene before her, she noticed a late morning fog rolling in from the south, also tinged pink. She and Mickey had been joking about using one of these universes as a holiday spot, but she hadn't yet found one she liked enough. This one was definitely going on her list.

Pulling her jumper from her jacket, she smacked the button and sucked in a deep breath. It seemed to go easier when her lungs were filled with air, less like she was being torn apart and more like she was being crushed to death... really it was bad either way, but she preferred crushed to death to being torn apart any day.

Landing firmly on the marble floor in the designated jumping area, Rose caught herself quickly before she lost her balance. Nicest landing yet.

"Anything?" Tia asked, glancing up only briefly as she tapped on the keyboard, flitting from one computer to another.

Rose unzipped her jacket and headed to the armory. She was half-tempted to tell Tia to set up another jump, but she was sure Tia would refuse. Rose barely got her to agree to this one. Not wanting to push her luck, she slipped off her jacket and put all her weapons back. "Nothing." Tilting her head a bit, she reconsidered. "Pink sky."

Tia's hands halted as she peered at Rose. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Nice place, wouldn't want to live there though." Perhaps just holiday there. Hanging her flak jacket in the metal locker, she turned to Tia. "One down, and what? Three to go?" Grabbing her jacket, she shoved her arms into it, wincing when her side and leg began to throb a little. "I'll be back tomorrow night for Liam's first jump. And then the day after that for my regular one."

Tia nodded, mouth tight. "Remind me again why this is a good idea?" She sat on the edge of the table, rubbing her head. "If I get caught, Rose--"

"You won't," Rose assured her confidently. "_We_ won't." Yanking up the zip, she stuffed her hands into her pockets. "I promise, Tia. And if we do, I'll take the blame."

"Fat lot of good that'll do when I'm the one running all the equipment." But she exhaled sharply and nodded anyway. "You find him, snog him once for me."

Rose's lips turned up a bit. "Gotta give him one from me first." Turning on her heel, she left Tia and the Torchwood Estates behind.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Punching her pillow, Rose blinked at the ceiling, sighing as she shifted her legs again. No matter how hard she tried, sleep just wouldn't come. Staring at the window that looked out onto a city filled with people going about their lives, she wondered just how many of them understood how tenuous their grip on this life, and their happiness, was.

Yawning widely, she flicked her gaze to the sky, knowing that, in just an hour or so, dawn would light the city and day would come. She hated that transition time, the period between night and day.

Day was fantastic and full of so much life.

Night was calm and peaceful.

But when the two met, it was a strange and awkward in-between time, not like dusk when day settled into night. Night fleeing the sun was somehow worse.

Shoving into a sitting position, she grabbed her robe and tossed it around her shoulders as she stood up. Leaving her mussed bed behind, she went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. Turning from the sink, she leaned back on the counter and examined her dark flat.

It wasn't much, but it was home. A small lounge, a bedroom, a loo, and a kitchen. Didn't need much more than that. It wasn't like she was home enough that it mattered.

Eyes sweeping over the room directly across from her, she saw a shadow in the shape of a man and dropped her glass.

But when she blinked, the shape was gone. Had it even been there in the first place?

Slowly opening the drawer beside her, she kept her eyes trained on the dark room. Cataloguing every item. Couch, table, lamp, side table, fireplace, chair... no person-shaped shadow.

Pulling a knife free, she lowered it to her side and bent to pick up the glass, keeping her eyes on the rest of the room, listening for footsteps or a creak of the floor. There was nothing but outside noises; cars driving by, a dog barking down the street, a zeppelin floating above the building.

Setting her glass in the sink, she opened the cupboard door and yanked the dishtowel free, dropping it to the spilt water, absently wiping it up. Then she tossed that into the sink as well and flipped on the light, turning suddenly to the lounge. She reached across the wall and flipped that light on as well, but the room was empty with nowhere to hide. Except behind the couch.

She held the knife out in front of her and rounded it quickly, not allowing anyone hiding behind it time to move.

Empty.

Sighing, adrenaline still pumping through her, she rubbed away the goosebumps covering her arms and spared one last look at the lounge, then went to grab her tazer from her jacket. Moving through the rest of the house, she searched every nook and cranny, and even looked under the bed, but there was no one in her flat.

Bracing herself against the kitchen counter behind her, she closed her eyes for a second before opening them again.

Keeping her weapons with her, she went into the loo and grabbed a bottle of sleeping pills. She hadn't taken any in over a year, but she popped a few and then rinsed them down with a handful of water. Back in her bedroom, she snuggled under the covers, slipped her knife and tazer under her pillow, and closed her eyes, hoping she wouldn't see any more phantoms.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title:** Discordant  
> **Character/Pairing:** Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie  
> **Rating:** Adult  
> **Genre:** AU, Action/adventure, mystery, romance  
> **Summary:** Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?  
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who.  
> **Thanks:** to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing.

Covering her mouth with her hand, Rose yawned and squinted up at the sun. Feeling a dull ache behind her eyes, she pushed her sunglasses higher up on her nose, then let her arm flop to the bench.

"He's making me tired just watching him," Mickey muttered from where he was slumped beside her. Holding his cup of coffee between his palms, he blew on it, sending the steam in her direction.

The smell of the caffeinated drink perked her up a bit. She'd only got a few hours of sleep the night before, after her intruder-fears had passed, and she felt sort of blah today. Though the sun was bright, it was cloudy, and cold, and her side ached, and her head hurt. "He never sits still, him." She trailed her brother with just her eyes, watching as he ran around a tree a dozen meters away, playing with another boy he'd met just minutes earlier. "Even in his sleep he kicks and throws his arms around. Pete calls him a kung-fu sleeper."

Mickey chuckled and drank a sip of his coffee, then turned lazily toward her, nudging her arm. "Tosh wanted me to remind you about supper next week." Dipping his sunglasses down, he pleaded with her with his eyes. "Please, whatever you do, don't cancel. With all the wedding hullabaloo--"

Rose snickered, earning herself a glare.

"--Tosh is on a tear. Every little thing," he stressed, sitting forward and turning toward her, "every tiny, little thing, and she blames me. Doesn't matter what it is. Never had her pegged as the stressed-bride type."

Rolling her eyes beneath the safety of her sunglasses, Rose shrugged and sat up a little straighter, trying not to look like such a slouch. "Not planning on canceling, so you're safe from the big, bad Tosh."

"Hush, you," he snarled, wagging a finger at her, "or I'll send her to your flat every time she starts in on me."

Glancing over to where Tony last was, Rose felt a moment of panic at seeing the empty grass, but then he ran out from behind one of the trees, giggling with the other boy as they started somersaulting. Rose forced herself to relax.

Not everything was a dire situation or an emergency in the making.

"She's just stressed. Torchwood's driving her mildly mental and you're doing what all to help her?" Shoving her glasses back up, she rubbed her head and turned toward him. "And while we're on the subject of Tosh, might wanna stop calling me babe, at least around her. She doesn't like it."

Mickey's face went blank and Rose suddenly had the feeling she'd stepped on a touchy subject. "Doesn't mean anything. Told _her_ that too," he sniffed.

"Right. Well, still." Sitting back again, she watched Tony run their way. "She's the one you're marrying."

Voice stiff, he sat back as well. "I know who I'm marrying."

"Rose," Tony called out, still a few meters away, and she took the opportunity it afforded to change the subject. "Rose!"

"What?" she asked, mildly amused as he ran pell-mell toward them.

"Can we get an ice cream? John--that's the kid I was playing with--he said his dad is getting him ice cream and there's a truck over in the car park and can we get some too, please, Rose?"

The thought of ice cream in this cold weather made her shiver, but she couldn't say no to him, not if this might be the last time she saw him. Not if, during her next jump, she found the Doctor. "Sure, sweetie."

Mickey swept Tony up onto his shoulders as the boy skidded to a stop on the concrete in front of them, sporting a huge grin. "Ice cream coming up, bud."

"Oi," Tony complained, squirming around on Mickey's shoulders as a token protest to his position. "I'm too old to be up here, Mickey." He squirmed a little more, making himself more comfortable rather than trying to get put down.

Rose grinned and patted his leg, grabbing his trainer-clad foot and swinging it back and forth a little. "Better hold still before he drops you."

Mickey raised an eyebrow at her, visible just above his sunglasses. "Never happen."

Frowning, she looked across the park, unsure why she suddenly felt a slight uncomfortable twinge between them.

*~*~*~*~*~*

The noise in the hotel the next day was loud and harried. People were rushing back and forth between the computers and Pete's office, and Rose felt a moment of panic. She searched out Tia, and, not finding her, felt her panic grow.

Had they found out? Did they know about the extra jump?

Tia had told her she could hide the jumps by burying the energy signatures deep in the computers, but what if she hadn't buried them deep enough? Pete might know, and that wasn't good.

But then Tia left Pete's office, smiling at Rose as she passed. "Hey, thought you were gonna miss your first jump in a week," she told her.

Rose frowned, thinking surely Tia's little wink would give away their activities from last night, but no alarms were raised, Pete didn't yell for her to get into his office, and the harried pace of the lobby didn't suddenly come to a stop as everyone pointed at her, proclaiming her guilt.

Feeling a little off-kilter, she pulled out the files she'd been working on the night before and headed toward Pete's office.

Duane looked up when she passed in front of the computers and winked at her. "Hey, babe."

"You wish," Tia snickered, smacking his arm as she sat down beside him.

Spinning around, Duane pushed his wheeled chair along the table a few computers down, grabbing a folder and holding it out to Rose. "Going to see Daddy?"

Rose nodded, placing her folders on top of Duane's as she took it from him. "Yeah. He in there?" She nodded toward his office.

"Yep," Duane answered, head already bent over his monitor again. "Said he wanted to see you straight off."

Sharing a look with Tia, Rose headed toward Pete's office, hoping like hell she hadn't been caught. Not just because of the possibility of being taken off the project, but because Tia was a good person, and she didn't want her to get fired. If she did, and it was because of her, Rose wouldn't be able to face her again.

Tapping on Pete's door, she waited for his shout of, "Come in!" before turning the knob and stepping inside. He looked up from his desk with a smile as she entered. "Ah. Morning."

Rose smiled back, trying not to let her relief show. Hiding her sigh beneath her smile, she crossed the small room. Her foot got stuck on something and she fell forward, dropping the folders to the floor and catching herself on his desk. Glaring at the rug, she straightened up, hiding her embarrassment behind a frown. "When you gonna fix that thing?"

He sat back in his chair, pretending confusion. "Fix what?"

Rolling her eyes, she gathered up the folders and tossed them to his desk. "Torchwood files."

Grabbing the edges, he pushed them back a little, freeing a file underneath it, holding it out to her. "Here."

"What's this?" Sitting on the single chair in front of the desk, she glanced at the paper. It was from Santiago. A letter to all jumpers that all jumps were to be spaced at a minimum of four days apart now. "Why?" She tossed the paper back onto his desk and stood up. "Is there any reason for it? I swear he's making this up as he goes along."

"It's possible he is, Rose, but no one really has the data needed for judging these things." Circling around, he sat on his desk, facing her. "Your mum was upset the other night." He paused a beat, then continued when she merely crossed her arms over her chest, not saying anything. "She missed you when you came to get Tony... and she thinks you planned it that way on purpose."

Dropping her arms, she stared up at the ceiling for a moment, feeling guilt pour through her. "I didn't... not-- not really." Sighing, trying to explain her frustration to Pete, she rubbed her forehead. "I just... I feel so guilty for not being able to tell her. She deserves to know what I'm doing. What'll happen when I find the Doctor." Tossing her arms out in frustration, she let them drop, smacking her thighs in the process. "I'll never see her again, Pete. Or Tony."

He sniffed and sat back a little before getting to his feet and putting a hand on her shoulder. "I know. I'm not enjoying lying to her either, but it's best this way."

She opened her mouth to refute that, but he shook his head, moving back behind his desk.

"No unnecessary worrying." Glancing at the folders she'd brought him, he flipped one open, then returned his eyes to her. "If she knew, all she'd do is worry about the day she'll lose you. This way, she'll only have to find out when it happens." Frowning, he held up the folder. "It's empty."

Blinking at it, she shrugged and headed for the door. "Odd. Duane told me to give it to you." Glancing at her watch, she opened the door and paused, turning back to Pete. "I know this is better for mum, but I still feel bad for keeping her in the dark."

Head ducking down a bit, he nodded. "Me too."

Leaving his office, she went to suit up for her first official jump in a week.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Eyes darting around, trying to take in everything at once, Rose spun in a slow circle. Moonlight afforded her a good view of the chaos surrounding her, as did the pools of light coming from the overhead streetlamps lining the pavement and the car park.

A soft, warm wind blew her way, and she gagged, pressing her hand to her mouth and nose.

The stench was horrible.

Watering eyes surveying the area, she took in the people on the ground, the dead bodies in the street. A broken bottle at her feet was covered in blood, the sharp, jagged edges painted red, and she was pretty sure she could see skin and hair on it, though she didn't look too closely. Didn't want to.

People were everywhere, coughing and moaning, crying pitifully, pulling and scratching at their skin, some muttering to themselves. A small boy sat on the curb, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands while his foot kicked repeatedly at a dead animal. His mum merely watched the sight with dull, uncaring eyes.

When she closed her own eyes, she could still see them all. See blood running from this woman's mouth, or that man's ears.

Men, women, children, all ages, all colors, all sizes, dying everywhere, on the grass, on the street, on the pavement, inside cars.

She shuddered, wanting to go to them, to help them, and yet, knowing that it was a bad idea, she stayed where she was, in the middle of the street, unable to move. This couldn't be her universe; the Powell Estates didn't exist in this world, or if it had, it didn't anymore.

Instead, there was a hospital there, filled to capacity if the long queues were any indication. Rows upon rows of people were standing on line, waiting to get in. Some were sitting or lying on the ground, others being pushed in wheelchairs and shopping trolleys.

Nurses moved among them, masks over their faces, administering shots and pills while orderlies dragged the dead bodies around the corner of the hospital.

At least, she hoped they were dead.

This was what Jake had jumped into? The Earth he'd visited with Chelsea with a report that stated a _mild_ illness going around? Santiago had examined them, run extensive tests on them both and found nothing. Tia had told her.

But, what had happened then? Had the illness got worse? Was this a different stage of a virus, or-- or...?

Closing her eyes against the children wandering around, she turned and walked away from their loud cries of pain and low moans of despair. Her heart clenched in her chest. They were dying. All of them, just sitting around, waiting to die.

No one had noticed her, and if they had, they'd kept their curiosity to themselves, and, looking into the eyes of a man as he passed her on the street, she could see why. They were already dead on the inside.

Their bodies were just slow to catch up.

Walking, moving away from the smells, the sounds, the sights of the dying, she kept her hand over her face and broke into a run, rounding a corner and nearly running into an old woman. Hands out, she steadied the woman, ripping her hands free as soon as she realized what she was doing.

How was it transferred?

Unobtrusively wiping her hands on her jeans, she took a step back, trying to move around her. "Sorry."

But a hand snaked out and grabbed her arm, thin, bony fingers digging into the fabric of her hoodie. "It's coming," the woman told her, wrinkled face closing the distance between them, breath blowing across Rose's mouth.

Rose jerked back, scrabbling at the hand clutching her arm, trying to remove it, to get it off of her.

Managing to loosen the fingers, she tossed the woman's hand aside and backed up. Red-rimmed eyes, pale skin, weak, and frail, the woman coughed and coughed, making Rose back away further, pulling her mobile out as she went.

Hacking coughs nearly felled the woman. She grabbed onto the side of the building with a grizzled hand and angled her eyes at Rose. "It's coming," she gasped between coughs. Her other hand lifted up, arthritic finger pointing at Rose. "No one's safe!"

Trepidation pouring through her, Rose carefully moved around the woman and dialed the TARDIS. Darting a look back, she breathed a sigh of relief to see the woman gone. Hurrying away, dodging bodies walking toward her and bodies littering the street, she held the phone to her ear and listened to the static.

Nothing.

Hanging up and redialing, she pressed the mobile to her ear and headed down an alley. It was empty, free of the wailing of pained cries.

Still nothing.

Gasping, she snapped her phone shut with shaking hands, trying not to drop it to the filthy ground. She wrapped her hands around it, holding it to her chest, staring down the mouth of the alley. People shuffled by, half alive, half dead, and tears burned her eyes as realization hit her.

These people were dying. All of them. This whole planet could be dying of a plague, and now she might have it as well. Was it airborne? Transferred through touch?

Oh, god.

Shoving her mobile into her pocket, she fingered her jumper. This wasn't her home. She could go back now.

But she hesitated. She could be taking whatever it was back to Pete's World, and she couldn't do that. Not to Pete, or Tia, or her mum. Tony.

Biting her lip, she stared at the people, the bodies lining the streets. Bloated, swollen bodies.

She backed against the wall, watching the square of light, watching the dark shapes cross from one side to the other. Pulling her sleeves over her hands, she slid down the wall, eyes fixing on a row of bright yellow posters lining the wall across from her, the only spot of color in the dark night.

Was she going to die here? Die of a virus she'd never heard of on a planet where no one knew her?

Shoving her sleeve up, she stared at the long, thin scar there. They'd try to bring her back. Pete wasn't going to just allow her to stay here. Even if it were her universe, he'd bring her back so that she could tell her mum and say goodbye.

She'd have to make it impossible for them to do that.

Closing her eyes, she dropped her head to her knees and fought back tears, searching for something sharp to do the job with. She couldn't stop them from coming after her, but she could keep them from pulling her back. Scrambling around on hands and knees, she searched the ground, looking for something, anything that would work.

And then, she'd have to go somewhere. She couldn't just stay here. She had to do something, had to--

Crumpling up one of the yellow posters that'd fallen to the ground, she was about to toss it aside when she read a few words on it. Danger. Illness. Warning.

They weren't any old posters. Climbing to her feet, she took it to a beam of moonlight. They were warning posters.

She read quickly, eyes darting over the information.

It wasn't transferred through touch, or through bodily fluids, and it wasn't in the air. It was in the water!

Heart hammering, Rose dropped the poster and pressed the button on her jumper without even removing it from its pouch. Just as she did, a high-pitched scream sounded and a man came running down the alley toward her, arms flailing, mad eyes fixing directly on her.

Drawing in a breath, she let the void pull at her.

Once she was back at Torchwood Estates, she dropped to the floor, catching her breath and blinking at the bright lights. Tia was there, tapping on the computer, doing her tech thing. Rose had the desire to run over and hug her, but she resisted.

Standing up, she stretched her shoulders and neck, feeling like a pretzel that'd just been unfurled.

Eyeing Tia, she brushed herself off a few times. "That's Jake's jump then?" she asked casually, not moving any closer, still a little unnerved at the close call.

"Yup."

Rose closed her eyes and forced herself to relax. "No connection," she mumbled, holding out her phone. "Wasn't the right universe." Ducking her head, she crossed to the armory and began putting her things away.

Tia was silent for a moment, then said what she'd begun to say after every failed night jump. "You'll snog him next time."

*~*~*~*~*~*

Fingers dipping into the bowl on the table, Rose scooped up a handful of peanuts and tossed a few into her mouth. Ryan snorted with laughter and she hid a grin as Mickey continued, holding his hands apart like he was telling a tall fish tale.

"...this far away. She ran screaming into the night, and we had to track her down again."

Loud laughter broke out around the table.

"No," Mickey giggled, "seriously, and then-- and then she... she slimed him three more times before we got her!" He sat back, laughing so hard he could hardly breathe as the rest of the table burst into laughter again. He tried to take a drink of his ale, but ended up spilling half of it down his black shirt. "Hell, Tosh's gonna have a bloody cow now."

"She talking to you again?" Jake asked with a snort of laughter, smirking when Mickey sent him a scathing look. "Good to know you're not in the doghouse anymore."

Wondering what Jake was on about, Rose darted her eyes to Mickey's, but he looked away, occupying himself with grabbing a handful of napkins and swiping them down his jumper. His eyes rose to hers for a second before dropping again. Unsure what was going on, she vowed to ask him about it later. For now, they were among friends and having a good time, so she'd leave him alone about it. "Slob," she snickered when he threw the sopping napkins onto the table.

"Oi," he complained, wagging a finger at her. "I'll have no more of that, miss vinegar-stain."

Chuckling, Rose tucked her chin on her chest and peered down her blouse at the vinegar-soaked spot over her right breast. She pouted and rubbed at it ineffectually. "Elbows," she muttered, glaring at Duane beside her.

He held his hands up innocently with a grin. "Don't look at me," he sniggered, downing more of his ale. "Not my fault you can't hold your liquor."

Annoyed, she jabbed her elbow into his side, making him dribble a bit of his drink down his chin.

Tia broke into fresh gales of laughter and tossed peanuts at Duane's forehead.

Ryan, sitting on her other side, snickered quietly and shifted closer to her. She was completely aware of it. He'd been doing it all night. Three hours of Ryan's arm accidentally brushing hers, his hand so close to hers on the table. And all the looks she caught out of the corner of her eye.

How she'd never noticed his attention until Mickey told her, she'd never know. He was completely obvious about it.

Sighing when his hand landed partially on her thigh, she stretched her neck and glanced at him, smiling a bit until he removed his hand with a blush.

It was sad how much she wasn't attracted to him. She almost wished she were. He was handsome, with his short blonde hair and the spattering of freckles on his nose. Frowning, she realized she was staring at him. When did he get freckles? Had he always had them? The Doctor had the cutest freckles on his cheeks and nose and neck.

Did he have them everywhere?

That was a question she'd have to ask when she returned to her universe. She smiled and leaned back as Duane and Mickey fought over who got the next round. Letting her head tilt to the side, she wondered what the Doctor would say if she asked him if he had freckles everywhere. Would he raise his brows and let his lips lift just the tiniest bit to let her know he heard her before babbling on about something else? Or would he turn away and occupy himself, ignoring her question completely?

She was sure he'd not answer her.

If she had her druthers though, she'd find out first hand. By actually stripping him naked and peering closely at every inch of skin he possessed. Touching too. Oh, definitely touching.

Smirking, she breathed in deeply, and licked her lips. Buzzed and halfway to being pissed, she suddenly popped her eyes open, remembering where she was. Sitting up straighter, she pushed her hair out of her face and fought off the weariness swamping her. The double jumping was beginning to take a toll on her body.

An image of the people from the plague planet came to mind as it usually did when she was feeling less than a hundred percent, but she'd never developed any symptoms. And she hadn't drunk any of the water.

So, she was safe.

They all had ten official jumps under their belts at this point. Impressive and a nice start, but she was still coming back at night to make an extra jump to make sure they weren't missing the Doctor. Though they all insisted they were calling for him on their mobiles, she had this sneaking suspicion they weren't.

Well, Mickey was, she was positive of that. He knew. He understood that she needed to get back to the Doctor. That she had to find him.

Fighting off a yawn, she gulped down the rest of her ale and leaned back again, sinking into the booth. When her eyes began to drift closed again, she felt someone kick her leg. Snapping her eyes open, she blinked blearily at Tia who was frowning at her.

How the other woman wasn't as exhausted as she was, Rose had no idea.

Nodding minutely, she pushed up and drew in a deep, clearing breath. "Think I'm going to go," she told the others.

"I just got you another," Duane complained, but hands were already taking her mug, though she didn't see whose. Didn't care either.

"Sorry," she mumbled, yawning again as she pushed on Ryan to get him to let her out of the booth. "Haven't been sleeping much."

Jake snickered and pulled her arm lightly. "Don't be tellin' Santiago, or he'll try to stop us from jumping again." Rolling his eyes, he tossed a handful of peanuts into his mouth and chewed, annoyed. "I sneezed after he okayed me from that planet with the sick people? And he wanted to put me in quarantine."

Rose's heart stopped for a moment and she lost her footing, nearly falling onto Jake's lap, but Ryan's arm circled around her waist, catching her, hauling her back onto her feet. He didn't let go for a few moments and she found that she didn't hate the feel of him touching her, which surprised her. It felt nice. Comforting.

Her attention drifted from Santiago and sharpened on Ryan.

Mickey cleared his throat loudly, glancing pointedly at the two of them, then snickered when Ryan jerked his arm free and looked away, blushing.

Grabbing her coat and purse, Rose smacked Mickey's shoulder and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Behave," she whispered in his ear.

He merely snorted with laughter and tossed back the rest of his drink. "Where's the fun in that?"

"I need a ride," Rose said, straightening up and spinning around to stare at Ryan. "Would you--"

"Of course," he jumped in eagerly, smiling widely as he placed his hand behind her back and led her between booths and tables. Rose tossed a wave over her shoulder, ignoring the laughter of their friends. She didn't know what they were smirking about, nothing was going to happen, she was positive of that.

Even if he _did_ smell nice.

And even if his hand felt nice against her back; warm and gentle, but firm, guiding her toward his car through the dark, foggy night. Moonlight speared through the clouds, creating shafts of light that sparkled off the dense fog, creating a diamond-like quality to the water droplets hanging in the air. It was a beautiful night. A bit cold though.

Pulling her jacket a little tighter around her, she inhaled deeply, breathing in the cool air, trying to clear her mind and un-fog her head.

Exhaling sharply, she watched her breath leave her mouth in a cloud.

There it was again. That smell.

Turning around, she stared at Ryan, frowning up into his startled eyes, trying to figure out why it was so familiar. It tickled her nose. "What is that?" she muttered, leaning toward him to sniff his shoulder. "Why do you smell like that?"

"I-- I don't--" he began, looking confused, but she quickly cut him off with a kiss.

She had no control over herself in that moment. Something about him drew her in, made her press her lips to his and immediately open her mouth, forcing him backward until he hit something solid. They both stopped moving at the same time, but she couldn't stop kissing him. Her mouth and her arms seemed to be of one mind, and that wasn't the same as her brain, which was screaming at her that this wasn't the Doctor.

Like she'd been doused with cold water, she suddenly pulled away from him, tearing her lips from his and stumbling back a few steps. Staring at Ryan, she felt nausea rise up in her. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and gasped out a few breaths, sucking in a new, clearer breath as she realized what she'd just done.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Ryan, still supporting himself on the car behind him, shook his head jerkily. "No. Don't--" pushing away from the car, he licked his lips and move forward, a small smile lighting up his face as he reached for her. "I didn't think you..."

Hating herself for what she'd just done, she shook her head and backed up again, holding her hands out to stop him. "Ryan, I didn't mean to..." closing her eyes, she sighed deeply, mentally smacking herself for making things extremely awkward between them, because she saw--briefly, before closing her eyes--the hurt in his eyes. The confusion. "I-- you smelt like... something familiar." Unable to find the words to explain it to him when she couldn't even explain it to herself, she dropped her head back on her shoulders and stared up at the night sky dotted with stars.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone disappearing around the corner of the pub.

Snapping her head down, she stared in disbelief at the spot where he'd vanished. It couldn't be. Could it? Is that why she'd smelt him?

Oh, god. Realization pouring through her, she dashed after the man, hoping he hadn't seen her and Ryan. Hoping he didn't think she'd moved on, that she didn't want to travel with him anymore. That she didn't love him. Only him.

"Rose! Where're you going?" Ryan yelled after her, footsteps pounding the pavement behind her.

Her own steps slowed as she rounded the corner, and Ryan halted beside her. The street was empty but for a trio of teenagers across the way. Dark streets up and down, there was no police box, but--

There was an alley nearby. She ran to it and rounded the corner wildly, hand scraping against the stone of the pub as she went. It was empty, there was no wheezing, roaring sound of her universe righting itself. "Did you see him?" she asked Ryan as he ran up beside her.

Panting, he glanced around them. "No. What was it, what'd you see?" Reaching into his coat, he pulled out a stun gun, and Rose raised her eyebrows at him. "What? We work for Torchwood where aliens are the norm, you really think I'm stupid enough not to be ready when I come up against some of those nasties?"

Chuckling, she shook her head and looked for another place the Doctor could've gone. "He's not dangerous. Put that away."

Disappointment washed through her. There was nothing, nowhere for him to hide. An alley across the street from the one she was standing at the entrance of, but it was just as empty as this one. A zeppelin floated by, blocking out the moonlight for a few moments.

Pulling her mobile from her pocket, she dialed the TARDIS, and as she waited for it to ring, she cupped her hands over her mouth. "Doctor!"

Ryan watched her from a few feet away, frowning as she continued to shout. "Rose..."

"I saw him," she said clearly, the buzz of alcohol dissipating as she took off down the street, looking into shop windows and checking doors, banging on a few of them as she passed. The teenagers down the street were staring at her, laughing; one of them howled like a wolf. She ignored them, and Ryan, who followed closely behind, stun gun back in his pocket. "I swear, Ryan. He was right there."

"I didn't see anyone--"

"He was behind you! Of course you didn't see anything." Feeling irritated at his calm manner and skepticism, she ran down to the next block and stood in the middle of the street, peering into the darkness as it began to drizzle. "Doctor!"

Her phone didn't ring. Didn't buzz, didn't make any sound that might alert her to him being here. There was only static.

"Rose, come on. There's no one here." Ryan's hand landed on her arm and she rudely shrugged it off. He sighed and slipped his hands into his pants pockets and she wanted to yell at him not to do that, because he looked like the Doctor and he shouldn't. He shouldn't look anything like the Doctor.

His tall, lean body was too reminiscent of him. The way his blonde hair fell over his forehead was too much like the Doctor's.

And that smell.

"It was the Doctor," she said confidently, though she was beginning to doubt herself a bit. "He was here. I saw him." Shoving her mobile back into her pocket, she rubbed her head, feeling a headache coming on. She left the street, heading back the other way, keeing her eyes open, darting her gaze to every shadow, every noise, every hiding spot.

"It was guilt," Ryan called after her.

Peering into a shop window, she spun around to stare at him in disbelief. "What?"

Halting a few feet from her, he shrugged as if it were obvious. "You kissed me. Then you saw him."

"Why would that make me feel guilty?" she scoffed, feeling the uncomfortable weight of guilt settling over her again at what she'd done. He was right. She did feel guilty for kissing him, but how would he know that it wasn't just because she'd done something she regretted?

How did he know it was because she felt like she'd cheated on the Doctor, even though it was directly because of the Doctor that she'd snogged him in the first place?

Scratching his head, he glanced away for a second, then fixed his gaze on their shoes. "You're in love with him."

Stunned, she stared back at Ryan. Were her feelings for the Doctor that obvious? Obvious enough that everyone saw them? She didn't make a habit of sharing things with everyone she knew. In fact, she tried rather desperately not to let her feelings show, so how did everyone seem to know?

That didn't matter right now though, because he was right, and he knew it.

And, he was, quite possibly, one of the nicest guys she'd ever known. Even Mickey had his bitter side. But Ryan, he wasn't judging her, he was just stating facts.

His eyes, so innocent and guileless, and the only thing aside from his hair color that truly didn't look anything like the Doctor's, watched her. There was no blame there, no anger, just concern. "But I didn't see him, Rose. And you were nearly pissed."

Turning back to the pub, she headed toward the parking lot. "I know what I saw. Black leather jacket, boots, and a red jumper."

Joining her on her trek to their cars, he hummed a little in agreement, but then reached out to halt her again. "Hang on, I thought he wore brown pinstripes and Chucks."

"He does," she said impatiently, shaking her arm free. "I just said--" but, no. She hadn't said that. So then, what had she seen?

She'd just chased a phantom of her old Doctor.

Big nose, short hair, leather jacket, that... that was not what the Doctor looked like. Unless he'd regenerated again and he looked like he used to.

That wasn't possible though; he'd told her that much after the Sycorax.

Rubbing her head harder, she tried to think, to figure out what'd just happened. "Brown pinstripes," she muttered, spotting her car and moving toward it. The alcohol was nearly out of her system now, thanks to the shock of seeing/not seeing the Doctor, so she felt safe enough driving home on her own. Not to mention the awkwardness of spending the next ten minutes in a car with Ryan after the way she'd just behaved. "I wasn't thinking. Sorry, I-- haven't been sleeping well."

"Maybe you should see Santiago, get some pills or something." He tossed her a look, encouraging conversation, but she pretended not to notice. "I sleep like the dead, myself."

"I used to," she sighed, remembering better times, more innocent times. Times when the Doctor had knocked on her bedroom door, waking her from a dead sleep to tell her it was time to go because a planet's single festive holiday for the decade was being held, or a storm of epic proportions was brewing in the ocean of the seventh moon of Ion or something.

Times when she'd been happy. It felt like more than five years had passed since then. It felt like a decade or more.

"Sure you're okay to drive?" Ryan asked as they reached her car, which shone silver with mist and fat droplets of rain. He didn't push, didn't tell her he needed to drive her home.

He was really sweet.

"I'm fine," she muttered digging into her pocket for her keys. Yanking them free, she sighed and glanced at Ryan. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you." Chuckling, she added, "I'm not even sure why I did." But that was a lie. It was the scent surrounding them in the parking lot, something that reminded her of the Doctor, though it wasn't his specific smell.

Ryan grinned shamefacedly. "'Cause of my boyish good looks and irresistible charms?"

Smiling, wishing she could say that that was exactly what had happened, she lifted her brows at him. "That must be it." Unlocking her door, she turned to him again. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged his shoulders, hands buried deep in his pockets. "Don't be. It was... fun."

Laughing, she shook her head. "Daftness and all?"

Tilting his head to the side, he nodded. "Yeah."

Definitely a nice guy. Slipping behind the wheel, she shoved the key into the ignition and turned it. She pulled the seatbelt across her waist, clicking it into place, then released it and re-locked it tightly, to make sure it was secure. Turning the heat on, she watched Ryan walk away in the rearview mirror and then let her breath out in a rush.

Shivering, she braced her hands on the steering wheel, letting out the sobs of disappointment and regret that had been threatening since she'd first glimpsed what she thought was the Doctor.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title:** Discordant  
> **Character/Pairing:** Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie  
> **Rating:** Adult  
> **Genre:** AU, Action/adventure, mystery, romance  
> **Summary:** Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?  
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who.  
> **Thanks:** to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing.

Rose peered down the empty street, past all the crashed vehicles, past all the little fires inexplicably burning here and there. Beyond those, beyond all of that, there was a man, a lone figure at the other end of the very long street. Feeling her heart begin to pound at the familiar shape, she allowed a smile to slowly form then take over her face in the shape of a wide grin.

It was him. He was there, just a few meters--well, no, the street was long--a few hundred meters away, standing in a pool of sickly yellow light from the streetlamp above him. He turned to face her, and though he was too far away for her to see, she imagined his smile, his grin, the one that always made her want to hug him.

And to be honest, kiss him.

Oh, those lips, they were there, just down the street, waiting to be kissed.

Wasting no more time, Rose shoved the Dalek gun to her side, resting it on her hip, and took off at a run. She'd found him, finally found him, after three long years of jumping through universes, suffering disappointment after disappointment. Tears slipped from her eyes, causing the lights to blur and twist like a kaleidoscope.

Joy shot through her body, followed by a giddy feeling that wouldn't dissipate until he was in her arms again.

And then he was--_he was there_\--and he was hugging her tightly, so tightly that she couldn't breathe, and she'd never been happier. "I found you, I found you, I found you," she whispered over and over again, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. She breathed in his familiar scent, shaking with laughter and tears.

Tightening her arms around his neck, she pressed her lips lightly to it, just a brush of skin on skin.

He was so warm, and there. What struck her most about this moment was that he was actually there. So solid and real and alive. His muscles moved beneath her hands, bones shifting with every slight movement. His hair brushed her cheek, tickling her brow. Her eyelashes fluttered against his neck.

And she loved him. So much, so deeply, that she couldn't stop herself from loosening her arms from around him--just enough to pull back and look at him--and pressing her lips to his, not wanting to waste any time in showing him exactly how she felt.

She was unsure of how he'd react, but he ended up doing the one thing she hadn't expected him to do; he jerked back, freeing himself from her arms, holding her around her waist, but not letting her any closer as he stared down at her with a disbelieving frown. "What do you think you're doing?"

Feeling embarrassment pour through her, she opened her mouth and closed it a few times, trying to explain without having to explain because he should know. He-- but... she'd thought... obviously she had it wrong.

"I love you," she whispered, dropping her eyes to his suit jacket, studying the brown material, tracing the blue pinstripes to his lapels before blinking and ducking her head to keep the pink tinge of her cheeks from showing. "I-- I thought that--"

"You love me and you thought, what? That your feelings entitle you to kiss me?" He was still frowning, she could hear it in his voice. His hands, wrapped as tightly around her as before, now seemed to taunt her with warmth and comfort, but his words... his words hurt.

"No." She squinted up at the full moon, hanging low and bright in the sky. "It's not like that. I just thought that you cared about me too."

"I do, Rose. I care about you very much, but you've been traveling with me long enough to know that I don't do that sort of thing."

Feeling anger rush through her, she jerked out of his grip, though he tried to stop her, even grabbed at her waist to draw her back to him. "Yeah, I saw that," she told him. "I saw that with Jabe, and Lynda, and Sarah Jane, and Reinette, and River Song. I've seen it with--"

"Who?" he asked, interrupting her as he pulled her back to him.

He couldn't seem to keep his hands off of her, but he didn't want to kiss her. Not like he had Reinette. Pain slivered her heart when she thought of that day. That spaceship, named after a woman long dead, but still alive in time. "What?"

"Who is River Song?" Scoffing lightly, he shook his head, caressing her hip with his thumb. "I've never met anyone with that name."

She wanted to cry. Wanted to jerk out of his grasp and make him stop touching her, stop being so tactile with her when he wanted nothing more from her than hugs and a hand to hold. "Professor River Song," she mumbled, grabbing his wrists with her hands and removing them from her. "Stop it." His brows rose in question. "It's not fair. You don't wanna kiss me. You don't do that sort of thing, but your hands--"

"I like touching you, Rose." He scratched the back of his head, looking a little confused as he let his gaze stray from her face, then back again. "I'm sorry. I just..." taking her hand, he drew her closer, once again settling his arms around her waist, "have this need to touch you." Hugging her tight, he rested his cheek against her shoulder and inhaled, much the same as she had earlier. "Who is she, Rose?"

Licking her lips, telling herself this wasn't anything more than a friendly hug, trying to get her body to understand that, she sighed and adjusted her cheek, rubbing it against the familiar fabric of his jacket. It still smelt the same. "You'll meet her soon. In a few weeks. At The Library planet."

He shoved her back, again, leaving her bereft of his touch. "What d'you mean 'will'?" Dropping his hands from her completely, he stepped back, keeping his eyes firmly on hers as his face went blank. "How can you know if it hasn't happened yet?"

Opening her mouth to answer, she realized that she didn't know. She didn't know how she knew. The knowledge was just... there. With no idea of anything surrounding it, there was just the certainty that the Doctor would meet a woman called Professor River Song for the first time. Not hers though. It would be the last time for River. "I don't know," she whispered, fearful of how the answers had come to her. How did she know?

She screamed as the streetlamp above them suddenly burst, raining pieces of glass to the street below, joining the rest of the debris littering the asphalt. Backing up, away from her, the Doctor shook his head. "You can't know that. I took it from you."

Frowning, searching her mind for what he could've taken from her--knowledge?--she followed him step for step. "Took what? I don't understand. How do I know about her? How do I know that she'll--" her eyes widened, and her hands flew to her mouth. "I'm so sorry."

His jaw tightened and he grabbed her by her arms, shaking her hard. "What have you done? What have you--"

Rose's eyes snapped open and she stared up at the white ceiling above her in confusion, expecting a dark night sky, partially filled with stars. Stars that were disappearing.

Gasping in her first breath since awakening, she sucked in as much air as she could and held it, letting it fill her lungs, burning them until she couldn't stand it any longer.

She was here, in her bed, in Pete's world, not back home with the Doctor. The dream, just like all the other ones, was just that; a dream.

Feeling tears prick her eyes, she shoved the heels of her hands into them, halting the moisture before it could leak out. Crying over the Doctor wasn't getting her anywhere. It never had, and it never would. She was alone here in this universe and she would be until she found the right universe, her proper universe.

Guilt swept through her, nestling into its usual spot, taking up residence for the upcoming day. She wasn't alone, she knew that. Her mum was here, and Tony. Mickey as well, and Pete. All of her mates.

But, the Doctor wasn't. She could have all of them, her mates and family with her twenty-four hours a day, and still feel alone without him. It was hard, knowing he was out there somewhere, but that he wasn't with her. That he may never be again. Sitting up with a sigh, she drew her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them.

As much as it hurt her to think it, she hoped Professor River Song was real, that he'd have her someday. If she couldn't find him, if she never did find her real universe, at least he'd have someone else for a while.

Scoffing to herself, she threw the covers back and rolled her eyes. Of course she wasn't real. It was all just a dream, just like the other dozen times she'd had it.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Hands in her jacket pockets, Rose strode across the room to the computer area, seeing a hive of activity going on all around her. She glanced around, thinking this was becoming habit. Seemed like every day she came in lately, there was a bevy of activity. Blowing on her cold fingers, she moved behind Ryan, who didn't notice her until he spun around and stood up.

His eyes widened and he stumbled back a step, gasping out her name. It was a bit breathless and Rose focused on his lips for a brief--so very brief--moment before stepping back as well.

This wasn't good. Not good at all.

Since the kiss, she'd spent exactly sixty-three minutes thinking about it over the past six days. How warm his lips were, how soft. Yet firm. He tasted nice too. And the feel of his hands on her back; she hadn't even noticed them at the time, but now it felt like his touch was branded on her skin.

And this close to his face, she could once again see his freckles. Could almost count them. There was a spattering of them across the bridge of his nose.

She blinked, and he was gone, moving off to another computer, talking to Tia, who also seemed a bit harried.

Clearing her throat, she unzipped her jacket and tossed it on the table by the weapons spread out there. "What's going on?" she asked, eyeing the arsenal more closely. "Ari here yet?"

These weren't her weapons. She didn't carry a gun.

"Guys?" Eyes rising to Ryan and Tia, she took a closer look at their monitors, trying to figure out what was going on from the information on them.

Ryan moved quickly past her, settling a hand on her shoulder as he went. It burned into her flesh, leaving an imprint behind that she could feel tingling her bones beneath the skin. "It's Mickey and Eric."

Her head shot up, mind shoving Ryan's effect on her to the back of her brain, focusing on what he'd just said. "What about them? Where are they?"

Duane ran by her, heading to Pete's office, sharing a look with Ryan, who turned and looked at Rose.

Bracing himself on the table behind him, he let his breath out in a rush. "They're missing. And we can't bring them back."

Feeling her heart seize up in her chest, she crossed to his computer and leaned down, peering at the monitor. "What do you mean you can't get them back? Where are they?" Her eyes widened and she straightened up again, staring angrily at Ryan. "Did they jump today? It's not their--"

"Yeah, it is," Pete told her as he hurried to the table. He was wearing a black turtleneck and a shoulder holster. He picked up the gun, checking it before shoving it firmly into the holster. "Today's Mickey's jumping day. What are you doing here?" he asked distractedly, barely glancing at her as he grabbed another gun, this one, a Torchwood-adapted alien version of a stun gun that had more than one setting, all the way up to kill.

Confusion swamping through her, Rose rubbed her forehead, trying to assimilate everything that was going on. Today was her jump day, she was positive of that. But that didn't matter; all that did matter was Mickey.

"The retrieval units didn't work?" she asked Tia.

Tia shook her head solemnly. "No. We're not sure why though." She shrugged, looking helpless and a little scared. "They just went--"

"Dead," Rose finished for her, lips tightening. There was no way that Mickey was dead. It just wasn't an option.

Making a quick decision, she crossed to the armory. She'd go after Mickey and bring him back, no matter... inhaling deeply, she refused to finish that line of thought.

Pete apparently had the same idea, though his was a little more deadly than hers. She'd stick with the non-lethal forms of weaponry. Grabbing a flak jacket, she filled it with her usual weapons, then grabbed one of the Torchwood stun guns Pete had. "Let's go," she told him, but he was already shaking his head.

"No. That is not going to happen. Do you have any idea what your mum would--" he stopped with a scoff and shook his head. Zipping his jacket, he pulled it down to straighten it, and picked up yet another gun, this, one she recognized for its specific purpose. "I'm sorry, Rose. I can't let you come with me."

"You don't have a choice," she told him, grabbing one of the hoppers from the shelf next to her. The innocuous round disk with a big red button--

_that should never, ever be pushed_

\--fit neatly in the pouch made specifically for it. She pushed it down firmly and slammed the armory door shut. "I'm going. He's my--" her mind sought for a term to describe Mickey, but nothing quite fit, none of the words felt like enough. Mickey was her best mate, her ex-boyfriend, ex-lover, lifelong friend, and her lifeline in this universe. "I'm going," she reiterated, facing Pete straight on. There was no way she was going to let him go without her.

He stared her down for a minute, before finally sighing and gesturing to Ryan and Tia. "Set us up."

"What do we know?" Rose asked, matching him stride for stride to the jumping area. She eyed the large gun he carried, the one that was almost bigger than she was. "Daleks?"

"No. I'm just being cautious, preparing for anything."

Rose felt a rush of fear go through her. If it was Daleks... oh, god. Mickey might be dead. Nausea swept through her and she had to gasp, biting it back as her breath fought to leave her in a rush and not replenish itself. She couldn't think like that. Couldn't let the panic take over and drive her actions. Mickey and Eric were probably fine. Maybe they'd both received injuries that prevented them from returning via the cannons, and their implants had been broken or something.

Anything could've happened. Anything.

When they finally received the go ahead, Rose didn't hesitate. She slammed her hand over her jumper and was off, being torn apart and pasted hastily back together again. Pete landed beside her, dropping to his knees.

She held her gun up, aiming it at the countryside surrounding them. Frowning, she turned in a circle, then lowered her arm. They were in a field, with nothing around them but gently blowing long grass and colorful flowers. Above, was an iron-grey sky with smears of lighter grey clouds. The sun was high, but not very warm.

Pulling her jacket tightly around her, she zipped it higher and looked back at Pete. He seemed to be done retching.

Smirking, she tossed him an, "All right?"

He waved his hand at her as he hefted his gun off the ground and stood up shakily. There was a crop of trees behind him and she had a feeling that that's the way they would have to go to find Mickey.

It was odd. This was the first time she'd jumped to an undeveloped area. It put her on edge.

Pete pulled out a pair of binoculars from an outer pocket and looked in each direction, squinting at the bright sky. "Smoke."

Glancing above the trees where he was gesturing to, she nodded, then brushed the tall stalks of yellowed grass with her foot. "Footprints." Sighing, she looked into the dense forest of trees. "And, naturally that's where they went."

"Guess we're going that way then," he said, heading toward the dark section of woods. Head down, watching the footprints, he tossed her a quick look. "Why'd you come in today?"

Eyes scanning the countryside, she frowned his way. "Thought it was my day."

Though she wasn't looking at him anymore, she could feel his eyes on her. He was staring at her, and she had the urge to fidget under his gaze. "Been doin' that a lot lately, forgetting the days. Have you been getting enough sleep? Santiago said--"

Rolling her eyes, she held her hand to her forehead to block the sun. "Santiago is an overly-cautious arse." Dropping her hand, she squinted into the distance, thinking she saw movement. Gesturing toward it, she raised her gun and peered through the scope. The trees rushed closer and a feeling of vertigo swam through her. She had to close her eyes and steady herself for a moment before opening them again.

Everything was still, including whatever movement she'd seen. She felt extremely exposed out here.

"Nothing," Pete told her, lowering his binoculars and resuming his trek. "He's just worried about the health of the jumpers, Rose. You can't hold that against him."

"More like he's worried about his paycheck," she mumbled, trampling after Pete, feeling a bit safer being behind the person with the big gun.

"You've been double-jumping," Pete said mildly.

Rose came to a stop and stared at him. "What?" How did he know? How _could_ he know? It was impossible. Tia was hiding each jump in the data, burying it deep. Forcing herself to move, to put one foot in front of the other, she refused to look back at him, refused to acknowledge his words with more than just simple curiosity.

But inside, she was panicking. He couldn't possibly know what she'd been doing. Tia. Oh, no. Rubbing her eyes with her free hand, she swallowed down all the questions she had.

"At first, I just thought you were jumping into new universes... and, I was furious," he continued, as if telling her about the weather, or something Tony had done at school. "Ryan found the data. Oh, it was buried deep, but he's good." Glancing at her, he gave her a look that she couldn't quite interpret.

Remaining silent, she fixed her eyes on the tree line, scanning the trunks and leaves and branches.

Again, she saw movement. "There," she whispered, hunkering down in the tall grass. It blew around her as Pete knelt down beside her, scanning the area she pointed to. Raising her gun again, she peered through it, looking for the shape she'd just seen between the two large trees to her left. "I saw someone." Glancing at him with just her eyes, then back to the tree line, she scoffed a little. "Ryan's been spying on me?"

"No. I have been." Grabbing her arm when she made to get up, he held her down, turning more fully toward her. "You've been jumping to the same universes as Jake and Liam. Why?"

"Now?" she hissed. "Mickey's out there somewhere. I don't really want to sit here and discuss--"

"Sh!" Finger to his lips, he tightened his hand on her arm. There was an intent look on his face and when he held his gun up, she raised her own. "There."

Peering through the scope of her gun toward the area she'd pointed out earlier, she moved the waving grass out of her way and scanned the area. There, between the same two trees, was a shape, crossing from one tree to another. She hunkered down lower, settling her knee into the soft, cold ground. "How many?"

"Two that I can see." He lowered his binoculars and slipped them into his front jacket pocket. Squinting at the sun, he judged the distance between them and the tree line. "We're out in the open here, I can't see any way around that aside from waiting for dark."

"Mickey might need us now." Sighting the man in her scope again, she saw that his back was to them, and he wasn't paying any attention to the surrounding field. "They're not looking this way. And even if they do, we have weapons."

Pete sighed and pulled his stun gun free. "They might have weapons as well, Rose. We can't just charge in there."

It didn't matter to her if they did have weapons; she was going in there. And she wasn't waiting until dark. It'd be too late then, she just knew it. She could feel it in the pit of her stomach. Mickey was in danger, and she and Pete could do something about it. But if Pete didn't want to, she'd go in herself. Walk right in, bold as can be, straight into their camp or whatever they had there, and rescue Mickey.

"I'm going." Pushing herself to her feet, she stared into the gloom of the trees and began walking, leaving Pete to follow or not.

Seconds later, she heard his footsteps behind her, trampling through the grass as he came up alongside her, tossing her an annoyed glance. "This might not help them, you know. We could end up getting them killed."

She shook her head, feeling calmness sweep through her. This was right. This was what they were supposed to do. "We won't. They'll be fine."

He frowned at her in confusion. "You can't know that." He hefted his Dalek gun up and shoved the other one back into his holster. "Hopefully big guns'll scare 'em off though." Patting the Dalek gun, he sped up his pace, leaving her to traipse after him. "Have you called your mum recently?"

Feeling annoyance pour through her that, even here, in a completely different universe, she was still being nagged at to call her mum, she glared at his back. "I will when we get back. All right? That okay with you? Can we concentrate on saving Mickey's life now?"

His shoulders shook lightly as he chuckled, then glanced over his shoulder at her. "That was a bit naggish, wasn't it?"

"A bit," she agreed with a grin. It was true that she hadn't exactly been the best daughter lately, hadn't visited her mum since their argument, hadn't called to apologize, hadn't even stopped by to see Tony since taking him to the park. Something in her kept warning her away, warning her not to keep those ties as close as she wanted to because she'd be leaving soon.

Hopefully leaving soon.

When she left, it'd be easier on all of them if she weren't around as much beforehand. Time healed all wounds and all that rot. So if she spent less time with her mum, she wouldn't miss her as much when she was gone. Tony either.

Fixing her eyes on the tree line, she saw their friends walking by again. Lifting her gun, she eyed the man dressed all in black. At first, she thought he was human, but there was something slightly off in his brow and nose. He looked a bit like a pig. Gesturing ahead, she tilted her head, thinking... I could take the shot from here. Stun him, move in, grab Mickey and Eric, and be done with it all.

"They're pigs," Pete said in wonder, lowering his binoculars.

"Looks like." Biting her lip, she lowered her gun, deciding not to take the shot yet. There might be more of them, and she didn't even know if they were hostile. It was entirely possible that they were innocent bystanders or captives like Mickey and Eric. If they were being held captive.

What else could keep him from coming back home? A plague planet?

What else would keep his retrieval device from working? Death, her mind whispered back. Injuries too severe to allow him to reach his jumper. Being held captive was the lesser of all evils and it gave her something to do. And she needed that, because she was itching to charge in there, screaming his name. To go trampling through the forest, announcing her presence for all to see.

"Rose."

Fear shot through her at the gravity of Pete's voice. She turned to look at him, but he was gesturing to the right, further off into the trees, not at a dead body on the ground. Their pig-man target was on their left. She began to peer through her scope, but Pete shook his head, handing her the binoculars and hefting his gun toward the right.

"We've got Daleks."

And the fear turned into anger. Daleks. It was always Daleks. She understood the Doctor's hatred of them more than he could possibly know. They'd taken her life from her. The man she loved. And now, they might take Mickey too. Well that was not going to happen as long as she still held a single breath in her.

Scanning the area with the binoculars, she saw the trio hovering in the trees and felt a steely resolve go down her spine, chasing away the fear. "Pig-men first," she whispered, handing Pete the binoculars. Flipping her gun over, she shoved the setting up to kill. "If they're still alive--and they are--they'll probably be with them."

Pete adjusted the strap on his gun and nodded, tight-lipped.

They only made it another ten meters before a screech of, "Halt!" sounded and the three Daleks soared through the air toward them. Rose stopped, watching their approach. The fear returned a bit, but was kept in check by her anger and worry over Mickey. She continued to scan the nearby woods, hoping he'd come stumbling out. "Identify."

Rose stepped forward, shoulders thrown back, eyes trained on the middle one's eyestalk as it shifted and moved on her. "Rose Tyler. And I kill your kind." She leaned forward with a smirk. "With a wave of my hand, I reduced the lot of you to dust. A whole Dalek fleet."

Feeling fingers tighten on her arm, she glanced back at Pete, who didn't look too happy at her revelation. "What are you doing?" he hissed.

She shrugged, pulling free of him. "It's what the Doctor does. Just act brave, like I know what I'm doing. Act like I belong, he told me once."

"You're not the Doctor," he protested, trying to pull her back beside him, but she shrugged free of his grip.

"Doctor!" all three Dalek's screamed in unison, eyestalks shaking, their metal bodies humming in agitation. "You are an acquaintance of the Doctor. You will take us to him."

"Yeah, sorry, no," she said smugly. "I can't do that. And even if I could," she leaned toward the middle one as if imparting a great secret and whispered firmly, "I wouldn't."

"You have traveled with the Doctor. You will take us--"

"No," she repeated slowly, as if they were stupid, and she was seriously beginning to think they were. "You don't understand. I can't. He's in a different universe."

There was dead silence for a few seconds as the Daleks assimilated this information, and then all three shook and jittered in anger. "You lie. You lie. You lie."

Something snapped in Rose at hearing those screeching voices, and she wanted to scream back at them. To scream and scream and rant and rail until they shut up. Just shut their mutated little throaty mouths and died. Every single one of them! She stormed the distance between them, screaming, "Shut up!"

To her surprise, they did.

But her anger stayed with her, didn't dissipate. "It's always Daleks," she snarled, feeling her hatred for them rise up. "You took everything from me. You took the Doctor-- you made him--"

The Daleks began to shake again, their eyestalks moving this way and that, but they didn't interrupt her.

"Afraid of him, aren't you?" she bit out, enjoying the visible fear they displayed at hearing the Doctor's name. "You should be. But you should be more afraid of me."

They soared closer threateningly, forcing her back a step. "You will drop your weapons," the two on the ends screamed, while the one in the middle screeched, "You cannot harm us!"

Over and over, they screeched.

Rose laughed bitterly. "Which is it? We can't hurt you, but you're afraid of our weapons? Got you shakin' in your metal shells, don't we?" She stepped back a pace and threw her arms wide. A voice, rising in her mind, echoed around and around. It was the Doctor screaming, '_Go on then, kill me! Kill me!_'. Misery swept through her and she had to hold back a sob.

Then the voice was gone and she was alone again, in front of three Daleks, unsure whether or not she'd actually heard his voice. How could she? It was impossible. And she'd certainly never heard him beg a Dalek to kill him.

Her imagination was just working overtime, that's all.

"Drop your weapons!"

"You cannot harm us!"

"Rose..." Pete warned in a low voice, stepping up beside her. He aimed his gun at the ground and slipped the strap off of his shoulder, but he didn't drop the weapon completely.

"No," Rose spat, "you don't understand. It's always them. They-- they've taken everything from me. The Doctor-- they almost turned him into a killer."

The Daleks shook excitedly, and she felt nausea rise in her.

"They killed him..." but then she shook her head, closing her eyes for a moment as memories swept through her mind.

"You will tell us more," the one in the middle said in a low voice, trying to sound encouraging, and she imagined them all salivating at the thought of having ended one of the Doctor's lives.

Rubbing her forehead, she drew in a breath, holding her anger and disgust in check. "No," she mumbled, frowning as she saw her first Doctor closing in on her, pressing his lips to hers. "I killed him." Straightening up, she glared at the evil pepper pots floating in front of her. "Because of you."

"Tell us... more," the middle one encouraged again.

She breathed out as a malicious grin stole up her face. "I also killed a whole Dalek fleet," she said precisely, succinctly, stressing every word to make sure they heard and understood. Resentment was battling with anger. They survived, they always survived, no matter how many times the Doctor destroyed them. No matter how many times, throughout history, and the future and the present, that he stopped them, and their twisted plans to take over the universe, they survived.

And he... the Doctor, he was alone because of them. He'd lost his entire planet, all of his people, his family, his friends. Her.

Because of the Daleks.

She wanted to make them hurt. Wanted them afraid. Wanted them to shake in fear at what she might do to them.

Holding her hand out in front of her, she spoke in a low voice, her threat clear. "I waved my hand, and I turned you all to dust."

"Impossible," all three screamed, soaring higher, closer, to her. "You are just a human."

"Yeah?" she taunted. "And doesn't that just scare you to bits?" Leaning forward, she chuckled humorlessly. "I absorbed the heart of a TARDIS, had the whole of the time vortex swimming in my veins. All as just a human. Think I'm a bit more than that now. I'm a Dalek-killer. I kill your kind."

"She speaks the truth," one intoned loudly, voice not so much screeching as astonished. Then all three were speaking, one over another, over another, and she could barely keep track of who was saying what.

"The human has void residue on her."

"She travels through universes."

"There is something in her. She is..."

Pete lifted his gun as they all went silent, eyestalks shifting up and down, zooming in on Rose.

"...no longer human."

"Exterminate! Exterminate!"

There was a shot from beside her and the Dalek on their left dropped to the ground in a smoldering heap. The other two immediately turned to Pete, and Rose felt a blinding moment of fear that she was about to watch her father die again. She shoved him out of the way as he shot at the middle one, and it too dropped to the ground, a pile of twisted, burning metal.

Pete landed hard on his left side with a grunt as the ground where he'd been standing exploded into flames. He turned quickly, rolling onto his back and lifting the huge gun, firing at the remaining Dalek.

It swerved higher, aiming its eyestalk at Rose. "Bring the prisoners!" it screeched, but was cut off by another blast from Pete's gun.

Rose scrambled backward on hands and knees as it fell to the ground. A puff of dust and smoke went up around it, making her cough. Waving her hand in front of her face to clear the air, she turned to Pete, still on his back, much in the same position she was in, aiming his gun at the wrecked pieces of Dalek in front of her. She grinned and climbed to her feet, holding her hand out to pull him up. "Good thing these Daleks weren't too bright," she muttered, squinting off into the distance. "We'd better go before more come."

"Right." Swinging the gun behind him, he took one last look at the smoking piles of metal and ran toward the trees in the direction of where they'd last seen the pigmen.

Rose was right behind him, matching him stride for stride. It only took a minute for them to reach the tree line, and when they did, they came upon Mickey and Eric being held by two of the pigmen. They were huddled behind their prisoners, looking terrified, but holding onto them tightly.

"Let them go," she told them, moving her gun from one pigman to the other, eyes darting between them, trying to keep both in her sights at the same time. She didn't like this. She had no idea who these creatures were, but... the Doctor had told her about what the Slitheen family did to the pilot of their ship. If they could do that, then couldn't the Daleks do the same?

"No closer." The speaker, the one holding Eric, shuffled backward a little, watching them closely. He nearly tripped over a fallen tree trunk, but managed to keep to his feet. "Stay."

They were part human, or at least part sentient being, whether that was human or not didn't matter. These weren't just mindless creatures put into use by the Daleks. She didn't just want to kill them, or stun them and leave them for their masters to destroy. But what if they were in service to the Daleks by choice?

What if they, too, wanted to destroy humans and every other race out there?

Eric moaned and started to slide to the ground, but the pigman holding him up kept him aloft.

He looked awful, she noted, quickly running her gaze over both men. Eric was pale, the side of his head covered in dried blood, and his eyes were rolling into the back of his head. He was in bad shape. Mickey looked better, but not by much. He was more alert, but there was blood running down the back of his neck and around to the front.

Fresh blood.

Making a decision, she held her stun gun up in the air unthreateningly, elbowing Pete to do the same.

He dropped his gun by his side, leaving it dangling by the strap. In a conciliatory tone, he told them, "We're not gonna hurt you. We just want our people back." He nodded to Mickey and Eric. "We just want--"

"You killed the Daleks," the pigman holding Mickey said, adding a snort to the end and tossing his head back. "You will kill us."

"No." Rose put her gun back into its pouch and held her empty hands up. "We don't want to hurt you. We'll take our friends and go."

The pigman holding Eric shared a look with the one holding Mickey, then tossed his head back with a snort as well. "You will kill us." He threw Eric to the ground. The tech landed at her feet, unmoving. Keeping an eye on them, she knelt and rolled him over, pressing her fingers to his neck. His pulse was thready and weak; he needed medical help, and soon.

His jumper fell from his jacket, and she quickly pocketed it, slipping it in with her own.

Mickey was tossed aside as well. He landed on his knees, head and shoulders dropping for a moment before he straightened and moved over to Eric, checking his wound. Neither had a weapon, so there was nothing they could do, but their captors didn't make a move to hurt them.

"Thank you," Rose told them gratefully, as she and Pete hefted Eric between them. He was completely unconscious now, unable to stand on his own at all.

"You will kill us," one of them said again, more forcefully.

Rose snapped her head up, looking from one to the other. Understanding dawned on her. "No. No, we can't."

One of them moved forward, small eyes darting quickly over her face, head tilting to the side as he studied her. "We want... to die. Our choice."

Pete watched them for a moment and seemed to come to a decision. He began to lower Eric to the ground. Rose, terrified at what he was about to do, got in front of him.

"No," she said vehemently. "You can't kill them." She tossed a glance over her shoulder at the pigmen, seeing their pain-filled eyes pleading with her. With Pete. Nausea rose in her again, and she had to swallow it down because she knew. Knew why they wanted to die and how they're lives would end if they didn't.

"Our choice."

This was still Earth, and humans, no matter the universe they were in, couldn't seem to accept things that were different. They were cruel and brutal, malicious, and these men would die under their hands, or by the Daleks. They were making the choice to die by hands that were compassionate, not cruel.

Breath hitching in her throat, she released Pete, pulling his gun from his shoulder holster. Pushing him back, she turned to aim at the pigmen-- no, just men. Former humans, she was sure of that.

"Rose," Pete said firmly, "give me the gun. "I'll take care of this."

She glared at him. "That comment right there is why you don't get to do this. They aren't a problem to be taken care of. They're sentient beings." For all her brave talk, her hand was shaking so much that she had to use her other hand to hold it straight. "Take Mickey and Eric and go."

A hand settled over hers, pressing the gun down to the ground. "This is mine," Mickey told her. "I don't want you to have to do this."

"Yeah," she breathed through her tears, blinking them back, trying not to listen to the pounding of her heart. Trying not to hear her own voice in her head. _And you? What are you turning into?_ Wiping her eyes with her shoulder, she raised the gun again. "I didn't want to have to kill a Dalek fleet either, but I did it. I didn't want to kill Toby, but I did it." Raising her eyes to Mickey's face, watching it blur as tears gathered in them again, she sniffed. "Go back to Tosh without this, Mickey."

Mickey's hand dropped from hers, and without another word, he turned to help Pete lift Eric. She listened until their footsteps faded, then turned her eyes back to the two creatures in front of her. Opening her mouth to ask if they were sure, she stopped herself when one of them stepped forward and knelt at her feet, lowering his head. Fog rose up from the ground, swirling around them.

Tears burning in her eyes, she had to suck in a breath that her chest didn't want to let in, but her hand didn't shake when she lowered the gun to his head. Closing her eyes, she lifted her head to the sky and squeezed the trigger.

The echo of the gun startled her and her whole body jerked. A sob escaped her and she was grateful for the loud report so that she couldn't hear the body as it crumpled to the ground.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Mickey and Pete stopped just outside the tree line as the second shot echoed around them. Dropping Eric to the ground, forcing Pete to sink to his knees under the other man's weight, Mickey turned and ran back into the trees. He pushed past branches, jumping over fallen trunks, feet crunching the whole way, reaching her just as she dropped the gun to the ground. Turning her toward him, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her shaking body.

"God, Rose." He blinked back the tears in his eyes, staring at the bits of sky visible through the tops of the trees.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title:** Discordant  
> **Character/Pairing:** Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie  
> **Rating:** Adult  
> **Genre:** AU, Action/adventure, mystery, romance  
> **Summary:** Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?  
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who.  
> **Thanks:** to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing.

Rose stared at the cold, empty fireplace across from her and sipped her tea. Setting the cup down on its saucer with a rattle, she lowered them both to her lap, heaving a small sigh. Mickey sat down on the small chair across from her, and she blinked at him a few times, before letting her eyes focus on him more fully.

"Rose," he said softly, voice carrying plenty far enough for her to hear, but she didn't want to listen to him. She knew. Knew what he was going to say, had known the minute he showed up at her flat.

She raised her cup and sipped at her tea again, setting it back down with a slightly louder rattle. "Eric's dead."

Mickey sucked in a breath and slumped in his chair. He didn't drink his tea. Didn't touch the biscuits she'd put on a plate and set out for them. His eyes moved over her, taking in her unwashed hair, her heavy sweatshirt and baggy jeans. He sighed, shifting in his chair, making it creak under his weight. "Yeah. His head wound was too severe. And, he had some other injuries as well."

She sipped her tea, wondering what she was expected to feel at the news. She was sad, of course. Eric Tiechoff was a-- had been a nice man--quiet and efficient--but, she hadn't really known him. Only talked to him a few times. Despite that, she felt as if she'd lost a mate. As if Eric were a vital part of her group of friends or family. Sighing, she set her cup back on the saucer and put the saucer on the tray.

"I'm sorry, Mickey. If we'd got there sooner, we--"

"Stop it," he warned, sitting forward, trying to catch her gaze, though she'd once again slid her eyes to the fireplace. "It's not your fault. It's mine. It's ours; mine and Eric's. It is _not_ yours." Sitting back with a sniff, he shook his head. "We walked right into their camp and they jumped us. They were just scared," he admitted.

She didn't really think it was her fault. Not completely. They couldn't have got there much sooner. But she did feel responsible. This project was hers. Well, not technically. It was a Torchwood project, but she'd brought it to the attention of Pete, and he'd agreed to fund it, bringing in Torchwood technicians to help expedite it. He'd set everything up, hired all the jumpers and techs, and all because of her desire to see the Doctor again.

So, in that way, it was definitely her fault.

Guilt swept through her, but it was a distant kind of feeling, like it wasn't related to her at all. She felt a bit odd tonight. It'd been a day since they returned to their universe, carrying Eric between them. The Daleks had blocked all signals and transmissions, keeping Mickey and Eric from leaving that universe, but destroying the three main Daleks had destroyed the signal as well, and they'd made it home easily enough.

Eric had been rushed to the infirmary; Rose and Mickey pushed aside, left behind to pace the halls and wait. The wait had turned into an all-night vigil, with Pete eventually forcing her to go home.

She hadn't protested. Her body was tired. All she'd wanted to do was crawl into her bed and sleep. But she'd lain there for hours, staring at the window across from her bed, watching the moonlight slip across her wall, from one side to the other, painting patterns and shapes on the blank space. She'd never decorated her room. Actually, her whole flat was undecorated. No paintings on the walls, no vases on the tables, no pictures hanging in wooden frames above the fireplace.

Her plans didn't include staying very long in this universe, let alone this flat. She didn't need pretty things to make her place look like a home when she spent so little time in it. Though these days she spent more time there than when she'd been working at Torchwood, she still liked it as it was; plain and uninviting.

Alien.

Glancing at Mickey, she noted the tightness to his mouth, the way his eyes kept dropping to her hands in her lap. She was fiddling with the hem of her sweatshirt, pulling it down, stretching it as far as her fingers would allow, then releasing it again.

"Rose, talk to me. I know you've done things before... bad things, but this--"

"I'm fine," she repeated, sitting up and grasping the ends of the tea tray. Climbing to her feet, she took it back to the kitchen, setting it on the counter with a loud clatter. "I wish everyone would just stop. I'm not the one who died. I didn't lose my partner. I didn't--"

"Kill two creatures because they begged you to?" Mickey snapped, following her. "This isn't the same as killing a Dalek or even a whole fleet of Daleks. This is different. Personal." He reached out and grasped her shoulder, drawing her closer to him. Wrapping his arms around her back, he held her close while she stared silently at the couch. "They wanted you to kill them, but it still hurts. Still feels wrong to take a life." He sniffed and turned his head against her neck, smoothing his hand down her hair. "I know. I've killed before too."

Rose stood stiffly, nodding though he couldn't see it. He must've felt it though, because he pulled back and pressed his lips to her forehead. She smiled a little at the familiar gesture and pulled out of his arms. "I'm tired. Didn't get much sleep last night."

He exhaled, looking a little disappointed that she hadn't broken down, hadn't cried on his shoulder, but he nodded, heaving a sigh. "Yeah. Don't think any of us did."

"Go home to Tosh," she told him, putting on a smile that she knew he'd see right through, but wouldn't say anything about. "If you're not fighting... I can't keep up with the two of you."

Chuckling ruefully, he drew in a deep breath. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

She frowned and dipped her head down, playing with her sweatshirt again. "I'll be there." Her jump was tomorrow. Pete hadn't put things on hold since Eric, but she knew he was considering it, and she couldn't let that happen. She needed to find the Doctor more urgently now than before.

This universe was smothering her. Killing her slowly with each and every breath she took.

Tia would be there tonight and so would Rose, ready to make yet another private jump. Pete knew about them now, but they were still secret from the rest of the team. He likely wouldn't want her continuing them though, but until he told her otherwise--and even then she'd fight him on it--she'd continue.

And she had plans to expand on them as well. Not just do previous jumps, but new ones too. She just needed to convince Tia.

Seeing Mickey to the door, she opened it, resting her arm on the door and leaning her head on her arm as he turned to look back at her. "Get some rest," he told her, half-smiling before turning and walking down the hall. Her neighbor, Mrs. Rinsham, just leaving her flat, shut and locked her door, then started down the hall toward Rose, stopping briefly when she saw her there. Rose smiled and nodded while Rinsham gave her a look and shuffled off down the hall with her yapping terrier at her heels.

Pushing her door shut with a roll of her eyes at the old woman and her mutt, she went back inside and locked her door, heading straight to her room. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she toed off her trainers and slipped under the covers, wondering if this time would be different from all the other nights she'd tried to get some sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*

A ringing sound snapped Rose out of a dead sleep and she popped her eyes open. She was lying on her side, facing away from the window. Her mobile was what was ringing, not the teakettle like in her dream. Grabbing her phone, she rolled over onto her back and flipped it open, kicking the duvet off her sweating body. The cooler air felt like heaven on her skin. "Hello."

She'd got five hours of sleep this time. Better than she'd been getting, for sure, but not quite enough to rejuvenate her body completely, and she could feel it. Her tired muscles tautened and relaxed.

"Rose?" Mickey's voice rang through the mobile. "I'm just calling to... well, you wanted to know about Eric." He took a deep breath, then let it out in a rush. "He died."

Rose frowned at the ceiling as moonlight created an intricate pattern on it. "I know. You told me a few hours ago."

There was silence on the other end and she flicked her eyes to the dark window, finding a man standing there, watching her calmly.

Blinking, she rolled onto her side to see him more fully. "Mickey? Tea, remember?"

He drew in another breath and spoke slowly. "Rose, I've been here all day. I wasn't over for tea."

"Don't be stupid," she told him, wondering why he was playing games with her now, over this. "You came over, we had tea. Well, I had tea, you just sat there like a lump, not touching anything."

"I swear, Rose, I've been here all day, waiting for news on Eric."

She pulled the phone from her ear and stared at it a moment. No alien devices, no hidden cameras. What was he on about? Of course he'd been here. Putting it back to her ear, she watched the man by the window lean an arm against the wall and cross one foot over the other. "If you say so," she mumbled, thinking back, trying to remember what all he'd said. Head wound was too severe, had other injuries.

"You all right?" Mickey asked, concerned voice pouring out of the phone. "Look, I'll be over in a bit. I've just got to--"

"No," she protested, smiling at the Doctor when he raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm fine, just tired. Not getting much sleep. Must've been a dream." Lies came to her easily these days. Lies about secret jumps, lies to her mum about what she was doing. Lies to her friends and her family about how she was dealing better with this world.

She wasn't dealing. She was counting the days until she left. Until she found the Doctor and swanned off with him in the TARDIS. Frowning, she glanced around, looking for the familiar blue police box. Ah. There it was, by the closet. She could see the light on top of it now.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Closing Pete's office door behind her, Rose pressed back against it, hands behind her, and glanced at her pseudo-dad, seated behind his desk, piled high with file-filled folders. He glanced up at her and sighed, closing the folder in front of him. "Rose."

She pushed away from the door, feeling like she'd just walked into a sauna, and crossed the room, sidestepping the curled up portion of rug. "Duane said you wanted to see me." Dropping into the chair in front of his desk, she draped her arms over the sides of it, urging her hands to rise up and fan her heated face, but weariness weighed her down. She'd barely managed to drag herself out of bed this morning. Last night had been filled with odd dreams and strange images mixed with phantom shadows. "Oi, it's like a sauna in here," she complained.

"Is it?" Pete asked distractedly, then crossed his hands over his stomach, leaning back in his creaky chair, watching her for a few seconds.

Sitting up, sitting straighter, she blinked back the tiredness. "I've got a jump in a bit, so..."

"No, you don't." Pushing himself to his feet, he moved around the desk and sat on the edge of it, lifting one leg higher than the other. "Your jump day is tomorrow. And besides that--"

"It's today," she retorted, shaking her head and scooting forward in her seat.

"It's tomorrow, Rose, and that's exactly why I'm..." taking a deep breath, he rocked back and stared at the ceiling for a moment before returning his gaze back to her, "I'm taking you off active duty. No more jumps until you've been examined."

"What?" Shoving to her feet, she stared at him angrily, annoyance forcing her fingers to clench tight. "No more jumps at all? Why? What do you want to examine us for?" Once again, her thoughts turned to the plague planet she'd jumped to a while back. If there was something wrong with Jake and Chelsea, then she'd know. And her; she felt fine, other than needing sleep.

Pete shook his head and slipped off the desk, crossing his arms over his chest, looking a bit uncomfortable. "Not everyone. Just you."

"Me," she repeated dumbly, not understanding what he was saying, or why he was saying it.

"I'm concerned about you, Rose."

She snorted and paced away from him, needing to release some of the pent-up energy building in her. "I'm fine."

Circling around behind his desk, he tossed her a look. "What day is it?"

"Thursday," she answered immediately. Furrowing her brow, she tilted her head to the side and looked at him, really looked at him. Dark circles graced the skin under his eyes and there was a tight set to his mouth.

Jaw ticking from clenching his teeth tight, he looked back at her, shaking his head. "It's Wednesday. And that's why you're being examined."

"Oh, this is stupid," she exploded, tossing her arms out from her sides. "What, I forget the particular day of the week and you have me examined? For what, exactly?" Striding back to his desk, she grabbed the edge of it and leaned forward, glaring at him. "What are you doing, Pete?" Suspicion wormed its way through her as she watched him. He was acting shifty, and slightly... guilty.

If he was trying to stop the jumps, stop _her_ from jumping, there had to be a reason. Something was going on here.

"Have you looked in a mirror lately?" he snapped, apparently doing away with the pleasantries, which suited her just fine. She didn't want to hide behind good manners and faked friendliness. Pete wasn't her father, had never been her father, and, looking at him now, she knew he never would be. He was too different from her real dad. His rejection of her still hurt, but she'd come to terms with it, with him.

Glancing down at herself, she scoffed, not seeing what he was referring to. "Yeah. Sort of do it a few times a day, Pete, what's your point?"

His head snapped up and he stared at her. "You don't see it at all. Do you?"

Rolling her eyes, she straightened back up, shaking her head. "See what?"

"You're skin and bones, Rose." He moved toward her, grabbing her wrist and holding it up in front of her face. "You can't see this? Your bones are poking out of your skin." Grabbing the shoulder of her t-shirt, he yanked on it. "Your clothes are hanging off of you." Stepping back with a sigh, he gestured to her waist. "Look at yourself! You've got a belt on, tightened to the furthest hole and they're still barely hanging onto your hips."

Her hands dropped to her belt and fidgeted with the strap, pulling it tight as she glanced down. "So? These are big jeans, that's all. I'm not wasting away, ya know. I can stand to lose a stone and not get knocked over with a feather."

"When's the last time you saw your mum? Talked to her." Frustration seeped into his voice as he stared at her, trying to get her to see something that wasn't there. "Mickey told me what happened the other night."

Feeling betrayed by her supposed best mate, she rubbed her forehead, smoothing the furrows there. "It was a dream, that's all. He woke me up. I got confused, that's all." Sighing, she tried to keep a rein on her emotions, which wanted to jump all over the place from anger to feeling betrayed. From frustration to irritation. "Haven't been sleeping well lately."

He stared back at her, as if she'd just proved his point. "I'm worried about you, Rose. We all are." Dropping his hand to her shoulder, he tightened his fingers, digging them in painfully. "You're not yourself."

"Oh, and how would you know?" she bit out, jerking free of his grip. "You're not my real father. You know nothing about me. Only just met me a few years ago." Spinning on the spot, she headed toward the door, tossing an angry glance back at him. "I'm not letting you stop me from jumping. This is my project!"

He leaned over his desk and pressed a button on his phone. "Not any longer. You're off the project until you've been examined. Until we get to the bottom of this."

Swallowing thickly, she felt a frisson of fear go up her spine. He could do this. He could take her off the project and leave her sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else jump. No more trying to find the Doctor. Pete would get rid of that aspect of the jumps, she was sure of it. He'd never been fond of her desire to find the Doctor again, didn't think she should. He thought she should stay here and be content with her life with her mum and Tony.

Didn't want her to rock the boat because then he'd be left to pick up the pieces she left behind.

Hand on the doorknob, she twisted, yanking it open, leaving Pete and his office behind.

Striding across the marble floor, listening to the familiar echo of her shoes ringing throughout the cavernous room, she tossed a glance at Tia, Ryan, and Duane. They all looked up from what they were doing as she stormed past them.

"Rose," Tia began.

But Rose waved her hand, cutting her off.

"Rose," Ryan called out, circling around the tables, but stopped before going any further. "Santiago's--"

She didn't hear the rest of his words, her attention was on the two men striding toward her from the direction of the infirmary. They were doctors, judging by their white coats flapping out behind them, and that scared her. Pete was taking this farther than she'd thought he would. He was actually-- well, he'd have to drag her there if he wanted her examined because she wasn't going to just submit to it.

This was ridiculous! There was nothing wrong with her.

Changing directions, she watched them to see what they would do, and sure enough, they turned more fully toward her.

Fear poured through her now, raising goosebumps on her skin, pumping adrenaline through her. They reached her a moment later and one of the men took her arm, while the other moved to her other side.

"If you'd come with us, please, Ms. Tyler," the taller of the two said.

Rose sighed and closed her eyes, muscles tensing. "No."

"Ms. Tyler," the other whispered, leaning down to speak directly into her ear, "don't make this any harder on yourself than it has to be."

"On you, ya mean," she snorted, yanking out of his grip and backing away. The other man simply tightened his fingers around her wrist, drawing her back. "Oi, leave off!"

They didn't say anything more, just dragged her toward the infirmary.

She dug her heels in, struggling against them, staring over her shoulder at Pete who was standing in the doorway of his office. "I said shove off," she shouted, jerking and yanking harder. "You can't do this! Pete, you can't-- stop it."

"I'm sorry, Rose."

*~*~*~*~*~*

Rose stared mutinously at the man in front of her, keeping her mouth shut tight. There was a tearing sound as one of Santiago's assistants freed the blood pressure cuff from her arm and pulled it off. He scribbled something on the paper on his clipboard, then hung the cuff back on the wall.

Santiago himself was standing before her as his goons went about poking and prodding her, testing her responses and writing everything down. He'd been mostly silent while they worked, asking only occasional questions of them. When he turned his questions to her, she merely stared back at him, staying silent.

"Rose," he sighed, scribbling something on his clipboard. "We're trying to help. You're ill."

She snorted and crossed her arms over her chest, but the doctor on her other side grabbed her wrist, settling two fingers on the inside of it, taking her pulse. Again.

This was stupid. She should be out there looking for the Doctor, and all they wanted to do was check her temperature and feel her pulse, like she was about to drop dead at any moment.

Or go completely mental and start lighting things on fire.

Santiago reached behind him and dragged over a small stool on wheels. Sitting down, facing her, he set the clipboard on his crossed knees, settling his arms over the clipboard. Watching her. "We did a physical on you a week before the first jump."

And she'd passed with flying colors, just as she would now. There was nothing wrong with her. Yeah, she'd lost a little weight, but it wasn't enough that people should worry. Maybe, she thought, looking the blonde doctor up and down, maybe weight standards here were different. Alternate universe, different rules. It was possible.

"You're weight has decreased dramatically. You've lost nearly two stones." He lifted his eyebrows at her, waiting for her to gasp or faint or something, she was sure. When she didn't respond, he picked up his clipboard. "Are you sleeping well?"

She wasn't. In fact, she was hardly sleeping at all, but that was just a mild case of insomnia. She'd had it before, a year after arriving in this universe, and she'd probably have it again. So what? Shrugging, she heaved a sigh and crossed her arms over her chest, rubbing at her arms.

Closing her eyes, she wondered if it was a law that all exam rooms had to be chilly.

"Tell me what your typical day is like."

Opening her eyes on him, she lowered them when he began tapping the end of his pen on the clipboard. It annoyed her, but she wasn't going to let him see that. He'd probably lock her up for it. Jake was right, Santiago was mental. "Well, I wake up, have a little leftover sacrificial goat stew from the satanic ceremonies I hold during the night, then I troll the city looking for children to molest, and, after that, just to round my day off, I have orgies at my flat where we sacrifice animals and dance naked around an altar. You?"

He didn't even bat an eye, just started scribbling on his precious paper.

"You're writing down that I'm being sarcastic, yeah? Well, good." Chewing on her thumbnail, she watched him write, watched him dart occasional glances up at her. A few minutes went by in silence.

His hench-doctors handed all their gathered information to Santiago and left the room.

Another minute of scratching and then he placed his arms flat on his lap again. His salt and pepper brows lifted at her. "Do you sleep through the night?"

"Do you?"

He smiled a little, and rocked his foot. "Yes. Do you eat regular meals?"

Lying back on the exam couch, she stared at the ceiling. "So, what? You're a shrink now? Gonna tell me that eating badly has caused me to go mental?" She sat up partially and eyed him. "Maybe you should go check out Pete. Give _him_ a nice go over."

His foot stopped moving. "Do you have a problem with your father?"

She chuckled bitterly and sat up on her elbows. "You're kidding, right? He had your goons drag me in here and he's forcing me to get a mental evaluation. What do you think?" She held her thumb up, shaking her hand. "Trust me on this," she mocked, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, right. He just wants me off this project."

Santiago sat forward curiously. "Why do you say that?"

She didn't reply, just stared back at him. It wasn't any business of Santiago's whether she trusted Pete or not. It wasn't anyone's business at all. Pete was her father, and what she felt for him wasn't up for discussion. "Can we keep the Freud out of this, please?"

"The what?"

Closing her eyes, she shook her head. "Not what, who." He blinked at her, waiting. Sighing heavily, she dropped her head back on her shoulders. "Never mind."

"Rose, do you really think your father has it out for you? That he's trying to sabotage the project?"

"Paranoia," she said with an impressed whistle. "Nice."

He was silent for a moment again, watching her, then he looked down at his paper and wrote something briefly. "Are you feeling paranoid?"

"What, that everyone is against me? That my dad is trying to stop me from jumping? No," she said sarcastically. "Why would I possibly think that?"

"You've been losing weight--"

"End of the world," she interjected, counting the cracks in the ceiling. Just three. She traced them with her eyes, closing one to see them better.

"You're not sleeping."

"It's insomnia," she mumbled, wondering why she was being interrogated by a GP. When he didn't reply, she shifted on the couch. "I've had it before. Doesn't mean I'm insane."

More scribbling, more looks at her and at his paper. More silence. And then. "I never said you were. You're the one who keeps saying it."

She sat up angrily. "It's what I'm here for. It's what my dad-- Pete had me dragged in here for. 'You're losing weight, Rose. You're not sleeping, you're seeing things, you're hearing things, you're'--"

"Are you?" Santiago asked mildly, dropping both feet to the floor.

Swinging her legs to the side of the exam couch, she jumped to her feet and went straight to the door. "Interrogation over."

He spun around on his stool and faced her. "Your father told me about--"

"He's not my father," she snapped, spinning on her heel to stare down at him. These people on this Earth, in this universe, they just couldn't seem to leave well enough alone. They had to push and push and push. "I wasn't born on this Earth, or in this solar system, or even this bloody universe! And that man is not my father. He just happens to have the same name and face. That's it."

"Why are you so angry?"

"Because _he's_ out there somewhere, and _I'm_ stuck here!" Surprised by her own outburst, she inhaled sharply and turned away from Santiago, forcing herself to calm down, to stop screaming and yelling. This wasn't helping her case at all.

After a few moments, the fog of anger cleared, and rationality and clarity surfaced in her.

What was wrong with her? Blinking quickly, trying to stop the tears from falling, she pressed a hand to her forehead. It was pounding. She felt like it was going to explode, and she almost wished it would, at least then she'd get some rest, some peace of mind. The sleeping pills weren't working anymore, tea didn't help, warm milk. Nothing helped.

This mental evaluation was a waste of time. There was nothing wrong with her that a good night's sleep wouldn't cure.

"Pete told me what happened on your last jump."

Going still, she closed her eyes, forcing her fists to unclench again. What was it with the people in her life telling tales out of school? "Good for him."

"You killed two men--"

"They weren't men," she snapped, fighting tears, trying not to see the pleading in their eyes, trying not to hear their begging voices, distorted by the tusks and unfamiliar snouts. She would not break down in front of Santiago. "They were mutated creatures who--"

"Used to be men," Santiago insisted, spinning on his stool to observe her. He was sitting down, looking up at her, but he still managed to give her the impression that he was looking down his nose at her as he peered over the rims of his glasses. "Are you saying that doesn't bother you?"

"It bothers me," she admitted. Turning back to him, she stared at his slicked back brown hair and the frames of his glasses, avoiding his gaze. If she wanted to talk about what she'd done--and she most definitely did not--it wouldn't be with him. "Can I-- can I just get something to help me sleep? I just need to rest, that's all."

After watching her for a few seconds, he stood up with a sigh and wrote something on his clipboard. "We're just trying to help you, Rose. Let us do that."

"Of course," she agreed. Weariness settled in her and all she wanted to do was go back home and crawl into bed. She wasn't even in the mood to jump anymore.

He nodded and went to the counter, opening a locked drawer. Pulling out a few packets, he handed them to her, but didn't let go. "It's a cliché," he said, with a smile and a shrug, "but, take two of these and then come see me tomorrow."

Tomorrow. She planned on jumping tomorrow, not going through another exam. "Yeah," she agreed, slipping the packets into her front jean pocket. She opened the door and left Santiago behind. Left Torchwood behind. Striding across the marble floor, she kept her head down, not looking at her friends, or her father, whom she knew was watching her leave.

Once outside, she took a deep, cleansing breath and stared up at the early morning sun, shivering as the breeze blew her hair from her face. It was nice. Simple. The pleasure of a cold, fall day slipping into winter. Tightening her jacket around her, she did up the zip, pulling it to her neck a few times to make sure it was up all the way, then stuck her hands into her pockets and headed toward her car.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title:** Discordant  
> **Character/Pairing:** Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie  
> **Rating:** Adult  
> **Genre:** AU, Action/adventure, mystery, romance  
> **Summary:** Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?  
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who.  
> **Thanks:** to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing.

She really hated this beach.

When a warm hand settled on her cheek, and a body moved close to hers, blocking the cold wind from biting at her, slowing the whipping of her hair, all she wanted to do was burrow into him.

"You're close." The words were whispered on the wind.

She opened her eyes to a handsome face. The only face she wanted to see. His lips turned up, and the hand on her cheek slid further into her hair, his thumb stroking her skin. She drew in a deep, shuddering breath and the tears gathering in her eyes spilt down her cheeks, past his fingers.

"Rose," he whispered, watching her with a soft smile, lips unmoving. The sound of his voice was gentle, echoing through her head like a caress. "You're so close."

Blinking back her tears, she lifted her hand to his face, feeling his cool skin beneath her fingers, feeling the roughness of his unshaven cheek. "You're here."

He shook his head and lifted his other hand to cup her face. "Not yet." Grip tightening, he drew her to him as he lowered his head, lips pressing roughly to hers, stinging the wind-bitten skin, burning her with his warmth. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, hands around his neck, as his went around her waist, closing the distance between them with a strength she'd seen hints of time after time, but never actually felt, at least not in this manner.

His lips dove to hers, then pulled back again and again, sucking her tongue out, teasing it, and then drawing it into his mouth, battling with it, before releasing it to start all over again.

"Rose." Her name whispered around them, echoing against the distant rocks and sweeping in with the ocean.

As they kissed, and touched, and explored one another, the wind died down, and the air around them began to warm until she was blisteringly hot. The sun came out, chasing away the clouds, leaving behind nothing but blue skies and warm sand.

Slipping her hands under the collar of his shirt, she tore her mouth from his, baring her neck to him. "I've missed you, Doctor." Pulling his tie loose, she yanked on the buttons of his shirt. "I want you... I've always wanted you. So much. You have no idea." She kissed his neck, licking the rough skin before sucking the flesh into her mouth, feeling an answering tug between her legs.

Chuckling, breathing heavily, he leaned into her. "Oh, I think I have an inkling." Grabbing her hand, he slid it down, past his stomach, to the hard bulge between his legs. "I need you to come," he told her, giving her a heated look when she pulled back with a surprised gasp.

Instead of answering, she grabbed his arms and pulled him with her to the sand. She'd half-expected it to be cold, but it burned through her jacket and blouse as he settled over her, letting her feel his hard flesh pressed into her. They made quick work of their clothes, stripping one another, teasingly touching and interrupting the process with long, drawn-out kisses.

When they were both bare, she laid back on her bed, staring up at the doctor, seeing the sun shining behind him. He was almost completely in shadow as he braced himself over her, poised at her entrance.

"Rose." He traced her lips with his thumb, moving forward to tease her folds just the slightest bit when she darted her tongue out and tasted his flesh.

She bucked her hips up, wanting, needing, more from him. Trying to-- ah. Ah!

His fingers worked her clit, rubbing and teasing her into a frenzy before finally sliding into her.

And then he was there, inside of her, buried to the hilt, watching her face, watching as she reveled in the pleasure taking over her body. Soared with it. A bird cried overheard as he brought her to the edge and left her hanging there.

"Come."

She fought it. Because once it was gone, she knew she wouldn't have him anymore. He would leave and she'd be alone again. "Don't leave," she breathed, arching into his touch, lifting her hips as he stroked inside her.

"Never," he panted. "Never gonna leave you. I need you, Rose. I need you to find me."

She stared up at him, understanding pouring through her as her body strove for more of him, as her skin tingled and her heart began to thaw. She was awash in gratification, in bliss, in pure pleasure.

"Come for me, Rose."

Awareness flowed through her and she opened her eyes to her bedroom ceiling, feeling her body throbbing with need.

A sob worked its way through her chest. He'd been there, actually been there with her and... blinking rapidly to clear the tears, she curled in on herself. It was just a dream. There'd been no Bad Wolf Bay, no bed spread out on the sand, no Doctor making love to her.

Her body continued to throb, crying out for him, not caring that he wasn't here, that he was gone for... now. Just now. She didn't allow herself to think that he was gone for good.

And even if she did find him, she thought derisively, it wasn't like he wanted her that way. He'd never shown any interest in a relationship that contained more than hugs and handholding... except that one time when she'd thought maybe, possibly, he... but no.

Her body, throbbing in time with her pulse, aching for friction, for something to fill it, didn't care about rationality and logic. All it cared for was release. Sliding her hand under the duvet, then under the elastic of her knickers, she closed her eyes and tried to continue the dream, to imagine he was still there with her, moving inside of her.

It didn't take much. She'd always wanted him, always wanted more from him than mere friendship. Her fantasies had included the Doctor almost from the moment she met him, but her mind rebelled against the setting and she moved the fantasy to her room. Imagined him here, on her bed, naked above her, breathing heavily, helping her touch herself. Their fingers, pressed together, sliding slickly into her wet folds as he watched.

She knew he'd want to watch. He was always so attentive, so fascinated with everything.

Slipping two fingers inside herself, she used her thumb to quickly rub her clit. Already halfway to coming, it wasn't long before she felt it washing over her. Planting her feet flat on the bed, she raised her hips and arched up, rapidly pumping her fingers in and out. Eyes clenched tight, she just felt; felt her muscles tighten around her fingers, felt her orgasm wash over her in wave after wave, felt her chest rise up and down as she gasped for breath.

Felt the loss of the Doctor.

Lowering her hips to the bed, she un-clenched her eyes and stared up at the ceiling again. Afternoon sunshine danced across it, shadows passing along the smooth surface as a zeppelin soared past her building. The distant sound of traffic reached her ears, and for a moment, she felt well rested.

Her mind was clear, head on straight, and she was able to see things a little more clearly than she had in a long time.

The Doctor was trying to contact her.

Pete was right. Santiago too, she supposed. She was stressed and acting a bit mental because of that. Pushing herself this hard wasn't accomplishing anything except more stress and more grief.

Lack of sleep had driven her close to the breaking point, but now, she understood. She was close to finding the Doctor and she had to continue jumping, no matter what.

She needed to apologize. At least to Pete. Right now, he was the center of her world because he was the person in charge of the Torchwood project, and he was the only person who could tell her yea or nay for jumping in the future. She'd go in, apologize, and hope he didn't fire her or take her off the project.

The thought of them doing jumps without her, without looking for the Doctor made her nauseous. She had to find him. It was dire that she did. This life, in this universe, was slowly killing her. Once she found him, she'd be able to slow down and just enjoy the sights with him.

What was he doing right now? she wondered. Soaring through the vortex? Chatting up an alien princess? Maybe running for his life with a companion who adored him.

Professor River Song.

Her heart clenched tight and she had to force herself to remember to breathe.

She didn't want the Doctor to be alone, but thinking of him happy and in love with another woman... a woman she knew was destined to love him, was incredibly painful.

It wasn't like she even knew how he felt about her. That sentence had never got finished. Sometimes she pretended it didn't matter. Other times, it was the only thing she could do to make herself stop obsessing over it. And today, after--she glanced at the clock--eight hours of uninterrupted sleep, she now understood that she was on the right track.

Sitting up, she stared out the window, not seeing the cityscape or the zeppelins moving past, only seeing the Doctor, standing on that beach, calling to her. Heard his voice as clear as day. She'd dreamt of him. And just like before, just like the first few months she'd got trapped here, he'd been calling her name.

Calling her to him.

Like that time, this felt real.

This was it; she was on the right track. Today was the day that she was going to find him.

Adrenaline shot through her and she jumped up, going to shower, wanting to start the day fresh and new, even if it was already half over.

After brushing her teeth and dressing, she headed into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of juice. As she turned back to the sink, she pushed aside the tea tray, still filled with biscuits and tea from Mickey's visit the day before. Taking one of the uneaten biscuits, she munched on it and sat down in the lounge to watch telly.

Tomorrow was her jump day, but tonight... tonight she planned on doing her usual nightly jump. She'd almost caught up with Liam and Jake, so, soon she'd be doing new ones.

After flipping through the channels for a mindless five minutes, she came to the conclusion that this universe's telly sucked worse than her own. There was nothing interesting on, except a children's show about a big green badger. Odd.

But it reminded her of Tony. She should go visit him and her mum. It'd been weeks since she'd last seen them.

She'd go tomorrow. For now, she'd call them. Grabbing her mobile, she flipped it open and scrolled down to her mum's number, pressing the call button. As it rang, she grabbed a folder from the pile on the table in front of her, catching up on some work files that Torchwood had sent to her last weekend. Identifying aliens and alien tech was still a bit exciting, though not as much as seeing the real thing. She sipped her juice and flipped through the files.

"Tyler residence."

Shoving the phone into the cradle of her shoulder, she quickly wrote down the name of the alien that was sketched on the sheet in front of her. "Hi, Lucy. It's Rose, is my mum around?"

"Yes, Ms. Tyler. One moment please." Her polite, childish voice had Rose gritting her teeth.

Rose waited, ignoring the slight jealousy that went through her every time she spoke to or looked at Lucy, and when Jackie came on the phone, and later, Tony, she managed not to think on it too much.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Six hours later, Rose walked into Torchwood Estates breathing a sigh of pleasure as her cold hands and cheeks were blasted by warm air. She headed straight to Tia-- only Tia wasn't there. Ryan was. She licked her lips and walked to where he was busy tapping away on a computer, determined that she wouldn't let this opportunity pass her by, no matter who got in her way.

None of her things were set out, no weapons, no flak jacket, no cup of coffee waiting beside the pot.

"Where's Tia?" she immediately asked, not bothering with pleasantries. She had a sinking feeling that Pete had fired Tia for helping Rose with her nightly jumps.

Guilt swam around in her, but not enough to keep her from jumping tonight.

Ryan spun around in his chair, dragging his eyes slowly from the monitor, still reading whatever was on his screen. Then he smiled and stood up. "Oh, hey, Rose." He shuffled closer and reached up to scratch his head, but then lowered his hand, eyes bouncing everywhere, but on her. "Uh, Pete took her off night duty."

"Right," Rose sighed, feeling relief sweep through her, "of course he did." It didn't matter, she was going to jump tonight. Moving past him, she went to the armory and unlocked it, pulling the metal door open with a screech. "You're not going to try to stop me, are you?"

He drew in a deep breath and let it out shakily. "I-- I'm sorry. I have to." Sighing, he joined her by the weapons--brave man--standing nearby while he told her she could no longer search for the man she loved. "Pete said you couldn't... that you were having some problems sleeping and--"

She raised an eyebrow at him, shoving a stun gun into her pocket. "And?"

"And, just that you..." he hung his head a little and looked up at her from under his brows, looking boyish and cute and sweet and apologetic, but also a bit stubborn. "You can't jump anymore."

"So you and the others, you all know about my night jumps?" She sniffed sharply, turning from the locker to face Ryan more fully.

He shook his head, raising it up to look her fully in the eye. "No, just me. I-- I found the information for him, and..."

"That's strange," she mused, striding past him to the designated spot. "Why'd he put _you_ on duty and not... Duane." Duane was a stubborn arse, and, even though he wasn't a by-the-rules kind of guy, she knew he'd stop her as ordered.

That, and she got the feeling that he resented her for some reason.

"Ah... I don't know," Ryan admitted, sitting on the table housing the computers they used to calculate and catalogue. "Wondered about that myself."

Rose chuckled darkly, absently clicking and un-clicking the straps of her flak Jacket. "Does he think you have influence over me?" She peered at him through her lashes, hooking the zip of her jacket and pulling it tight. "Mickey's been telling tales out of school again." Tilting her head, she considered her words, then tossed them aside. "Well, false tales, but apparently Pete believes them." Off of Ryan's confused expression, she straightened her shoulders and raised her head. "They think we're dating. That we're lovers. It's silly really. Mum got wind of it from Mickey and she must've said something to Dad-- Pete, and he assumed you'd stop me, being the... big, strong man you are."

Ryan gaped at her, and she couldn't help but grin back. With the excitement pouring through her at the prospect of seeing the Doctor again--soon--being able to hear his voice again, to touch him, she was in a bit of a good mood.

Laughing, she closed the distance between them and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Relax, Ryan." Planting a quick kiss on his lips, she stepped back and looked at him, still chuckling. "You can tell 'em I threatened to withhold sex." Smirking at his wide-eyed, expression, she pulled out her jumper. "Set me up."

"Rose, I can't," he insisted, pushing away from the table to circle around it. Sitting at one of the monitors, he began tapping out a long string of something or other.

She waited. Her patience was high, but it wasn't infinite. Still, she was sure he'd break first. Sure that she could talk him into doing this for her. So, she merely stared at him, waiting.

His typing slowed down and she could see him darting looks up at her, under his fringe. His resemblance to the Doctor in that moment was so strong that it hurt her chest. She couldn't breathe for a few seconds, but then her breath slammed back into her and she sucked in air, fighting back tears. "Please," she whispered. "I'm so close to finding him, Ryan. I know I am. He to--" shaking her head, cutting off those words, words he wouldn't understand and would make him think her mental, she blinked rapidly. "Please."

Ryan stared at her, studying her face for a few moments before heaving his whole body in a sigh. "Okay."

A watery smile flirted with her lips. "Thank you." Wiping her nose with the back of her hand, she stood waiting, hand hovering over the round, red button.

_That should never, ever be pushed._

Smiling softly as the familiar words rang in her head, she closed her eyes and waited for the go ahead from Ryan. A few minutes later, she was standing on a new Earth, just outside the Powell Estates, looking around at the familiar setting through a late afternoon sun. Everything looked like her universe, and she had to tamp down on her excitement. Was it possible that this was it?

Was she home? Really home?

Turning to the building behind her, she saw the crack in the sidewalk, spider-webbing its way to the edge. Saw the grass worn down to dirt by the crack. There, just by the door, was a rubbish bin, dented on the side from when Mickey fell on it after one of his pub-crawls.

Hope ignited in her.

Kids played down on the basketball court, cars went by in the distance. Inhaling deeply, she drew in the scents of rubbish, something burning, and rain. The sweet scent of rain was in the air. Up above, the metal-gray sky was free of bloated zeppelins soaring about.

The flame flickered and grew a little brighter, warming her from the inside out.

Spinning around, she ran toward her building, but then stopped when she saw something that made her heart thump like a boulder rolling down hill, gaining momentum as it went. There. On the wall by the courtyard.

**Bad Wolf.**

Flaring and crackling to life, the burning warmth, spread in her, lightening her heart.

Instead of going inside, she slid her mobile from her pocket and flipped it open. But then, her eyes lit on something else, something moving.

Fog.

A dark, swirling fog of inky blackness. It rolled and roiled along the ground, slithering around buildings, slipping into windows and doors. Great, big billowing clouds of it spun and rotated forward. It was still two streets away, but was quickly encompassing the empty playground.

She'd never seen anything like it, not something that moved like this. Smoke didn't slither over the ground, and hug buildings like a lover. This was... like a snake. It completely swallowed the playground, and she was startled to see that there was nothing there anymore. Just blackness. The fog swirled and swirled, roiling and turning, but light wasn't penetrating it. There were just slightly lighter areas of black giving it depth.

Turning to glance at the kids playing basketball, she saw that they had noticed it as well.

It was heading toward them. Toward all of them. Something about it, something in the swirling mass of black and grey fog, Rose felt that light of hope being extinguished, and a frisson of fear taking its place. It was menacing. Cold and evil feeling. She didn't like it in the slightest. The sun was shining, and yet, no light penetrated the mass.

Spinning around, she ran to her old home and yanked open the door, taking the stairs two at a time, heading for the roof. Panting on the metal steps, she grabbed the railing and swung herself up the last flight, barging through the door. It slammed back against the brick face and swung shut again, but she was already running across the roof toward the edge.

She'd sat with the Doctor here once, while the Slitheen's ship flew overhead, crashing into Big Ben.

But now she was alone and she wanted, _needed_, to figure this out. There was just something wrong about that fog.

Climbing up the brick wall covered in graffiti, she gasped, then stood up straight, staring out over the city. The northern half was engulfed in a swirling blackness that extended as far as the eye could see. Whole buildings and streets were gone, cars partially eaten by the ravenous cloud.

No, not a cloud, she realized. That was a wall.

The sky above was calm and grey, but so was the city, she realized. The only noises she could hear up here were the kids on the court below and a few nearby cars. The basketball echoed repeatedly along the bricks, the acoustic pounding reverberating off her skull.

It was moving this way, swallowing up everything in its path. There was nothing but fog as far as the eye could see to the north.

And it was nearing the Powell Estates, nearing the kids, and yet, they weren't leaving. Cupping her hands over her mouth, she realized she still had her phone. Snapping it shut, she yelled to the children. "Get out of there! It's coming, can't you see it?"

Their game stopped and they turned to her, pointing and arguing, though she was too far away to hear them. Then one of them yelled something she couldn't understand and they all turned and ran, leaving the basketball bouncing until it rolled away, settling near the Bad Wolf graffiti. Her eyes settled on the painted words for a moment.

This couldn't be her home, it couldn't be. To get home after all this time only to lose it to that... thing.

Remembering her mobile, she started to open it when suddenly it began to ring.

She nearly dropped it. Her fingers loosened and it began to slip from her palm, but then she snapped back to attention and tightened her hand on it, staring at the lit up number on the screen.

Drawing in a shuddering breath, she saw

**TARDIS calling**

and nearly fainted. Joy and relief and excitement battled for superiority as she flipped the phone open and pressed it to her ear with a grin and an enthusiastic jump. "Oh, my god, Doctor. It's you. It's really you." The reception crackled and popped, filled with static loud enough to drown out his voice. But it was him. It was definitely him! "Doctor! I'm here. It's me... I'm-- I'm here."

"Rose--" more static poured through, and she had to strain to even hear that much. "--fog... don't go... danger--"

"Doctor," she yelled, hoping he could hear her, hoping he was hearing at least part of what she was saying. Why wasn't he here? Why couldn't he get to her?

Her eyes were drawn to the fog, mere meters away now, drawing closer and rising high into the sky as if it were aware of where she was, or how tall the building was. He'd mentioned fog, she was sure of that.

She was right, there was something wrong and evil about this fog. Something unnatural.

Pressing the mobile tight to her ear, she listened intently through the crackling and white noise. She could hear his voice, fading in and out, broken up by static. "You've got--" more static. "--out of there. Danger... universes... go back."

Keeping an eye on the fog, she moved back from the edge, dropping to the roof and heading back toward the door. She had to get out of there, but the Doctor... she couldn't leave him. This was her only chance at contacting him. What if this were her world and she never got back here again because it got eaten up by this thing?

"I can't," she yelled, tears burning her eyes. "Come get me, Doctor. I wanna be with you." Her voice shook, tears flowing freely. The fog was at the edge of the roof now, closing in on her and she backed up a few more steps until her back hit the door.

"Not... universe. Rose! ...hear me? This is not... **not** your universe. Go-- ete's world."

Relief poured through her at his words. This wasn't her universe. As much as she'd still love to see the Doctor, still wanted nothing more than to be with him, if he could now contact her through other universes, then she knew--knew!--she'd get back to him eventually.

And her own Earth was not being eaten up by fog. She hoped. There was no guarantee of that, but she chose to believe that it wasn't.

"All right," she told him, voice still shaking as the fog closed in on her. It was a meter away now. "I'll go back. I'll find you again. I swear."

"...you, Rose." His voice was lower, not as panicked, but full of sincerity.

She felt a shiver go through her. Maybe it wasn't what he'd said, but she said the words anyway. "I love you, Doctor."

"It's coming," he said clearly for the first time. "The darkness is coming. Warn them." And then the phone cut off.

She hung up and pressed the TARDIS button, listening to the static crackle and pop and then cut out. She tried again. And again. But it wouldn't work now. He was gone.

Hands shaking, despair sweeping through her--she'd been so close to him, had finally heard his voice again for the first time in nearly 5 years--she snapped her mobile shut and stared at the fog.

It was coming.

What did he mean by that?

Warn them.

Was it spreading through all universes then? Coming to Pete's?

Her mind was whirling, her memory trying to put something together. Something important. Something about the fog... and then she remembered; she'd seen this before.

Fog. She'd seen fog before. Eyes darting over the roiling mass, mind working quickly, she realized that on all the other Earth's she'd jumped to there'd been some form of fog. Was that how it started? Inconsequential, normal, nothing out of the ordinary, but then it grew. Fed on... whatever it was eating, whatever was driving it?

Panicked, she flipped her phone open and hit the camera button, aiming it at the fog. Pete wasn't exactly taking her word for things lately. She'd need proof. Snapping a few pictures, she glanced up, then froze.

"Oh, my god."

There were faces in it! Faces in the fog. Swirling and rolling and twisting this way and that and as it approached her, as it churned toward her across the roof, she could hear muffled screams and wailing.

Pressing back against the door, standing on tiptoe, she covered her ears. Fingers fumbling on her mobile, she pressed the video capture button and held a shaking hand out. The fog was closing in on her, pressing close and she could feel it now. Feel the cold pouring off of it in waves as the faces screamed and wailed, assailing her ears.

Rounding the doorway, she slipped free and continued filming until she couldn't go any further, then quickly saved the video and snapped her phone shut.

Eyes surveying the city one last time, she was startled to realize that she could see through the fog. She could see ruins. It wasn't just choking the city and everyone in it, it was eating them up, leaving nothing behind but skeletons. This Earth was being destroyed, and soon there'd be nothing left.

Shoving her mobile into her back pocket, she grabbed her jumper and pressed the button.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title:** Discordant  
> **Character/Pairing:** Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie  
> **Rating:** Adult  
> **Genre:** AU, Action/adventure, mystery, romance  
> **Summary:** Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?  
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who.  
> **Thanks:** to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing.

Rose dropped to the floor, twisting her ankle as she landed hard. Eyes settling on Ryan, she began to hobble his way, but before she got more than a few feet, Pete stepped in front of her, arms crossed over his chest, eyes narrowing on her, mouth drawn in a tight line.

"Rose, you went against my strict orders not to--"

"I found him," she interrupted, moving past her dad. Feeling like she was choking on the fog, like she was starving for oxygen, she unzipped her jacket, opened it, and took a deep breath. Her lungs were burning. Gasping, she drew in more air, leaning over to grab at the edge of the table.

Then she remembered her phone, and the Doctor.

Pulling her mobile free, she flipped it open, scrolling down to the TARDIS' number, and pressed the call button. All she heard was static; it didn't even ring. She tried again. And again.

Nothing.

Pushing back her disappointment, she rubbed her forehead, glancing up as Pete joined her. Ryan stood up then, and the two of them shared a look before turning their gazes to her.

"You found the Doctor?" Pete asked, dropping his arms to his sides. "Where--"

"Doesn't matter. Just..." she swung toward him, straightening up, finally drawing in enough air to feel comfortable. "There's something out there. Something that's destroying universes. The Doctor told me-- I mean, I saw it... there was this fog, this thing-- a wall of..." Fighting for the right words to convince them of the danger, she groaned out in frustration and rubbed her head harder. She was getting a headache.

Sighing, Pete slid his hands into his pockets, looking anything but convinced. In fact, he looked even more convinced that she was mental. "You're not making sense. Let's go into my office; we can discuss this there." His eyes settled over her shoulder. "Ryan, you can go home now."

"I'm sorry," she tossed at Ryan as Pete dragged her to his office. "It's not their fault," she muttered to her dad, jerking her arm free of his grip. "Punish me, not them."

"They went against my orders." Slamming the door shut behind them, he turned to her angrily. "I put security precautions in place, Rose. Did you really think I'd trust Ryan to keep you from jumping?" Scoffing at her, he shook his head. "The boy's got a crush on you."

Pulling her mobile free again, she flipped through the menu to the video selection and held it out to Pete. "Doesn't matter. I told you, something's coming. And, it's just a matter of time before it gets to our universe."

Pete took the phone, glancing at it, then back to her. "What's this?"

She moved beside him and pressed the button to start the first video. "Watch." Stretching her tender foot carefully, she crossed to the chair in front of his desk and dropped into it, feeling like the rest she'd got earlier had been ripped from her. She was exhausted again. And terrified that somehow that fog was going to follow her here, into this universe and there'd be nothing they could do about it.

"The Doctor called me while I was there. The connection was rubbish, I barely heard him, but I heard enough." Sitting forward, almost unable to believe she was talking so calmly, so rationally, after the hour she'd just had, she nodded to her mobile. "He told me 'it's coming' and that I needed to get back here and warn you."

"To do what?" Pete asked, squinting at the phone. "Is that... are those faces?"

She nodded, unfastening her flak jacket. "Yeah. Bloody creepy too. I'm not sure what the Doctor thinks we can do. He didn't say, or I didn't hear that part, but he said, 'it's coming. The darkness is coming'." Climbing to her feet, she shrugged out of both of her jackets and set them on the chair, rejoining Pete on his side of the desk. Taking the phone from him, she flipped through the menu to the picture folder and handed it back.

He thumbed through them, frowning with each successive photo. "Rose, are you sure this is what he meant?"

"What else would he mean?" she snapped, grabbing the phone back from him. The faces in the fog were less noticeable, but she could still see them. And they still creeped her out. "Pete, we've got to do something." He opened his mouth to respond, but she shook her head with a frustrated shrug. "No, I don't know what, but call all the jumpers in, have them look out for signs of... what?"

Pete scratched his chin, eyes on nothing for a moment, before he moved around his desk and started tapping on his laptop. "Something about fog... not sure quite...." Finger on the down arrow, he scanned the files, eyes moving rapidly.

Rose occupied herself with her phone for a minute, watching the video a few times before once again trying to dial the TARDIS. Still nothing. Just static.

"Here."

Pete's voice startled her and she jumped a bit, spinning around to stare at him. "What?"

"Fog," he said, pointing at the monitor with one hand and scrolling with the other. He pulled his finger away then tapped the monitor again at a different spot. "Fog." More scrolling. "And again."

Rose circled around to see what he was talking about. Her eyes widened when she saw Liam's jump reports. He clicked another tab and pointed again. That was on Mickey's. "They've seen it too?"

"No," he denied, still scrolling through case reports. "These are just normal mentions. But there're... there're a lot of them, Rose." He clicked on more and more and more of their reports. "Nearly every universe, nearly every jump, you've all reported seeing fog."

Swallowing as fear surged in her, she leaned on his desk, feeling weak all of a sudden. "Pete, this thing is coming, and it's swallowing entire worlds--maybe even entire universes--we have to do something."

"What about the Doctor?" he asked, eyes rising to hers as he leaned back and rocked in his chair. "Is there any way he's coming to help? You said you talked to him, so..." He looked hopeful, and she hated to shoot him down, but, she couldn't lie. The Doctor wasn't coming as far as she knew. At least not yet.

"I think we're on our own."

They stared at one another for a moment, weighing the gravity of the situation before they were both moving. "I'll call a meeting of all jumpers for tomorrow. We need to find out what we know. And I want to explore that Earth, the one you just--"

"No," she told him decisively, shaking her head as fear began to throb in her again. "There was... there was nothing left there, Pete. I jumped at the last minute. I saw through it. Saw through the fog, past the faces, and the-- the screaming. The buildings were gutted, nothing but frames left standing. I think it--well, I'm not sure--but I think it absorbed the people."

Slipping his PDA from his pocket, he leaned over to open a desk drawer and pulled a cord free. Attaching it to the PDA, he held his hand out for her mobile. "Rose, I need information--"

"No, you can't send anyone into that thing. It'll kill them!"

Eyes darting from his PDA to her face, he finally let out a sigh, nodding reluctantly. "You're right. I can't take the risk." When she handed him her phone, he hooked the cord to it and thumbed through the menu until he got to the photos and video. After a moment, he snapped it shut and unplugged the device, leaving the cord on his desk.

Pulling his office door open, he gestured her through then followed. "Go home, get some rest, but I want you back here bright and early tomorrow morning for the meeting."

There was a small part of her that feared he'd send someone to jump anyway, even go himself, despite her warnings, but there was nothing she could do about it. "Please, Pete. Don't send anyone. We'll talk about it tomorrow, yeah? Decide on the best course then?"

He settled his hand on her shoulder. "You have my word."

Fighting a smile, she halfheartedly held her thumb up and shook it. "Trust me on--"

Grabbing her hand, he pushed it down and rolled his eyes. "Go on, get out of here."

Chuckling, she turned on her heel and headed across the marble floor to the door. She was knackered. A few hour's sleep would definitely be nice. And maybe she'd dream of the Doctor again. Frowning, she wondered suddenly if that had been real at all. Or as real as a shared dream could be anyway.

"Oh, and, Rose?" Pete's voice echoed across the cavernous lobby.

She turned with a curious look.

"Don't think I've forgotten about your jumping under strict orders not to."

Relief flooded through her. If this trumped her going against his orders, then he might just keep her on the project. With her connection to the Doctor, he most likely would.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Apparently Pete's interpretation of bright and early differed from Rose's. When she walked into Torchwood Estates at eight the next morning, peeling off layers of clothing as she went, she couldn't help a yawn. The weather had taken a turn for the worse overnight and there'd been an inch of snow on the ground when she awoke. It'd melted quickly enough, leaving a slushy mess on the streets, drenching the bottom of her jeans as she sludged through the car park.

In here though, it was its usual warm and toasty temperature.

Once again, there was a buzz of activity going on around the lobby. Seemed to be almost routine by now, the noise and activity. Watching from the sidelines for a minute, she counted three people going into the meeting room, and one person leaving it, all carrying folders and files.

Her fears after she left here last night seemed to be fruitless. She'd begun to wonder on the drive home whether Pete was taking her seriously, or just pretending to. It didn't make sense that he would merely try to placate her, though. Why would he?

Crossing to the computers, she was nearly bowled over by Duane. "Oi, boss has been looking for you," he told her, spinning around her and continuing on his way.

"On my way there now." Glancing at the computer pit, she noted it was empty of people. "Seen Tia or Ryan today?" Pete wouldn't really fire them, would he? Yeah, they'd gone against his orders, but they were only trying to help her. And because of that, they now knew of a threat that could be headed their way. A threat they might not have known about if she hadn't jumped last night.

Duane grabbed a few tech toys from the bank of computers and nodded to the meeting room. "In there, just like we should be."

Shrugging, Rose followed behind him, coming to a halt just inside the doors. Not only were all the jumpers gathered inside, seated around a huge table, but all the techs were there too, as well as a few doctors. Santiago was speaking, arguing with Pete, when she slipped inside the crowded room and took a seat between Mickey and Ari.

"Hey," she whispered, leaning closer to Mickey so she could be heard over the arguing voices.

"--safe as can be right now," Pete was telling Santiago, standing, arms braced on the back of his chair.

Santiago shook his head, tossing a folder on the table where it slid a few centimeters. "You can't know that, Pete. This is unprecedented." He gestured around them at the entire hotel. "All of this is. Safety is my job. Making sure all the jumpers are safe and healthy is what you hired me for, and I'm not about to compromise on that just because you think it's all right."

"Always liked to make a fuss didn't you?" Mickey whispered back, fighting a grin.

"Oi," she complained, chuckling at his assessment. It wasn't like she went out of her way to make a spectacle; it just happened that way sometimes. Suzy Perman being kicked out of school with her because of something she'd staged. Larry and Tighe brawling in the pub down the street because of something she told them. Jimmy Stone.

The Doctor.

Everything seemed to blow up around her, and though she didn't ever set out to make a scene, it tended to happen anyway, and in that way, she supposed she was a little bit like the Doctor. He got blamed for everything that went wrong around him too, though he only tried to help, to do good.

Ari tossed her a distracted smile, eyes on Pete and Santiago, listening to the argument closely. Though he was easy going and a bit laid back, he seemed to enjoy conflict, which baffled Rose. Leaning toward him, she tossed her gaze around the room, attention only half on him. "In your element, are you?"

"Of course," he replied absently, preoccupied with the rest of the group, who were joining in on the argument now.

"I've seen it too," Liam said, getting to his feet. His scarred face no longer seemed unusual to Rose, though she knew that Pete found it hard to look at because he felt responsible. In all honesty, it only made Liam more handsome, gave him some character. "We've all seen it." He glanced around the group and Rose was startled to see all the jumpers and techs nodding and agreeing.

"Every time we jump, there's some sort of fog," Jake said over the murmurs. "I don't know if it's what Rose saw, but I'm not willing to take the chance."

"Yeah," Mickey interjected, sitting higher in his seat, crossing his arms over the table. "If Rose says it's coming, and the Doctor--" he glanced at her, then back to Pete and Santiago, "if the Doctor says it's coming, I say we increase jumping and try to find out more about this."

"Try to find a way to fight it," Duane added, glancing up from his laptop.

Tia turned in her chair to face Duane. "How d'ya fight fog?"

"I dunno." He shrugged and resumed typing. "That's for the scientists to figure out, isn't it? Besides, this obviously isn't normal fog." He pointed to his monitor and Tia peered at it, then drew away. "Regular fog doesn't normally have faces in it."

Santiago threw his hands in the air, brow furrowing under his glasses. "I understand that there might be a danger to the planet, but I can't, in all honestly, allow the jumps to be upped to once a day. I don't know what that could do to the human body." He rubbed his forehead and Rose saw his eyes land on her, singling her out. "I'm sorry, but you're taking Ms. Tyler's word without much proof."

Mickey's jaw tightened. "What's that supposed to mean?" He tossed his hand toward Duane's laptop. "There's video, you saw it. That fog isn't normal."

Chelsea, Jake's jumping partner, spun her computer around and tapped a finger on the buttons. "Normal fog usually have faces in it, Dr.?"

Sighing, Santiago shoved his fingers under his lenses to rub at his eye. "Those could be reflections in the--"

"There was nothing to cast a reflection up on the roof," Rose told him, growing angry. Why did he doubt her? Was this about the evaluation, did he really think she was insane? A few sleepless nights were bound to have an effect on her, on anyone, but that's all it'd been. She'd got another seven hours last night and she felt pretty good.

"Maybe nothing you saw. Maybe you just didn't... notice it, Rose. I don't know." His attention was fully on her now and what she saw in his eyes made her stomach sink.

Santiago had it out for her.

He didn't like her, didn't want her here, didn't want her to jump. It was there, written plainly on his face, in his eyes. He wanted her off this project and he didn't care who saw it.

Pete cleared his throat and sat back down, facing the assembled group. "I'm stepping up jumps." Santiago made to object, but Pete cut him off. "I'm sorry, Dr., I've made my decision."

Rose's hands clenched at the use of the title in reference to the man who was trying to stop her finding _the_ Doctor; the real Doctor.

"We'll begin doing two jumps a day. Same schedule." He rubbed his head and closed the folders in front of him. "Rose, you and Mickey go today. Jake, you and Liam are on for tomorrow."

With a shocked gasp, Santiago turned to stare at Pete. "May I speak with you a moment, Mr. Tyler?" His eyes darted to Rose, then back to Pete. "Alone?"

Pete caught the look and followed it to Rose, who was frowning at Santiago. "Later, Dr.."

"This is important--"

"As is this," Pete interrupted, voice sharp, brooking no arguments.

There was silence for a moment, and Rose felt like she was watching two lions fighting over a piece of meat. Finally, Santiago heaved a sigh and moved around the table, heading toward the door. His eyes settled on her as he passed, his gaze hard and severe. But he didn't say anything and once he was gone, Pete lost the tautness of his shoulders.

Ari pulled at his shirt, straightening the wrinkles out, darting his eyes from Pete to Rose and back again before speaking. "Sir, when are we jumping?"

Pete glanced at his watch. "You and Rose jump this morning, soon as you're ready. Mickey and Anne, you jump in the afternoon. Liam and Frank, tomorrow morning, Jake and Chelsea tomorrow afternoon." He sat back in his big, black leather chair and eyed them all. "Now, tell me what you've seen."

"Fog," Frank tossed out to chuckles all around the room.

Mickey leaned forward. "We've all seen fog, but how do we know it was _this_ fog?" he asked, tapping his finger on his closed laptop.

"Did it scream?" Rose asked, shivering as she remembered the sounds it made, the eerie, high-pitched and low-sounding screams reverberating around her skull, slithering under her skin. "Did it have faces in it, leave nothing behind but ruins?"

All eyes turned to her and she shifted a bit, suddenly uncomfortable under their scrutiny.

"I heard screaming on a jump a few weeks back," Chelsea said quietly, staring at the tabletop where her hands rested, fingers of one hand playing with the nail of her thumb. She glanced up quickly, blue eyes scanning the assembled group like a computer taking in information. "I-- I just, I heard this sound, well, a scream really, and I went to check it out, but there was nothing there. No one there, just an empty street. And fog."

"Doesn't mean it was this specific fog though," Pete told her, flipping through his folders. "What makes you think it was?"

Tossing her long, brown plait back over her shoulder, she sat straighter. "I remember it because it was odd-looking. It was," she frowned, reaching around to scratch the back of her head with a finger, "almost too dense to see through, and the way it moved..." trailing off, she gazed into the distance for a moment, before snapping back, "it looked alive."

"Yeah," Jake agreed, in a low, chilled voice. "I remember that. Thought it odd at the time, but didn't say anything. Thought you all might think I was mad." He sat back with a chuckle and a shrug, spiked hair looking odd against the expensive chair.

Rose hid a smile. He looked so comfortable there, not at all out of his element, which struck her. This group of people were her friends, her family. They were what she was going to be leaving behind when she found the Doctor. Or he found her. Either way. But she'd still do it; in a heartbeat. There wasn't a choice.

The Doctor would always come first.

As they all began to talk, agreeing on what they had and hadn't seen, Rose watched them quietly. The Doctor had done it again, brought people together to face a common enemy. Now all they needed to do was find it and figure out how to stop it. As concern and whispered voices turned to laughter and joking, Pete called the meeting to an end and left the room. The rest of them slowly followed suit, leaving Rose and Mickey behind.

He'd waited to catch her, she knew. Since Eric's death, she hadn't seen him. Except in her imagination. And now he wanted to discuss that, she knew he did. She'd been avoiding him for that very reason.

She stood up, pushing in her chair. "Go on," she sighed, facing him with her arms crossed over her chest. Expecting war, she was surprised when she got a hug instead.

"All right?" he asked, wrapping her up tight in his arms. She dropped her own, wrapping them around him as well, resting her chin on his shoulder. He rocked her a bit from side to side and she heard him laughing lightly. "You found him, Rose."

Grinning in relief, with sheer happiness of it all, she laughed with him. "I know! I still can't believe it." Tears burned her eyes and she allowed herself to just feel this moment, to actually revel in the fact that she was so close to finding the Doctor for good. Close to seeing him again, touching him, holding his hand, and, she decided right then and there, to take Tia's advice and kiss him.

Oh, she'd give him one hell of a bloody snogging!

"I talked to him, Mickey." Her voice turned shaky as tears slipped down her cheeks. His arms tightened around her. "I talked to the Doctor. I heard his voice."

"Always knew you'd get back to him, Rose." He pulled back, looking down at her, watching her steadily through tired eyes. "Two of you are the stuff of legends. Universes can't keep you apart."

She wanted to believe him, and yet, she cringed at his familiar words. The Doctor had said something similar to Zach and Ida, and then soon after... she wasn't going to think about that. Not right now, not when the news was good and her life was about to turn around.

If they could figure out how to stop the fog.

*~*~*~*~*~*

The moonlight crawling across the floors and walls of her room moved too slowly for Rose's liking. At this rate, dawn wouldn't get here for at least another twelve hours, which was impossible since it was only five hours away.

Sighing, she wrapped her arms around her legs, resting her chin on her knees, and stared out at the snow-covered cityscape, burrowing her cold feet into the warmth of her covers.

Footsteps sounded to her right, and she rolled her head to the left, glancing at the man that entered her room and stood before her, hands in his pockets. "Can't sleep?"

She shook her head and sighed, resuming her study of the nightscape, tracing the features of his reflection with her eyes as he sat down beside her. His hair rested on his forehead, glasses perched on his nose. If she squinted and looked hard enough, would she be able to see his freckles?

"Here," he said softly, concerned voice washing over her. "Take these."

She didn't even bother looking at the sleeping pills Santiago had given her. "They don't work anymore."

His hand settled on her shoulder, exerting a little pressure until she turned toward him. "You need to do something, Rose. You can't keep going like this." Warm eyes caressed her face, brows lowering in a frown when she shook her head again. He leaned forward and brushed her cheek with his knuckles. "I worry about you."

Taking his hand in hers, she scooted closer, smiling as she pressed her lips lightly to his. "Don't. I'll be fine." Closing her eyes, she kissed him harder, humming in delight when his arms went around her, drawing her into his lap. Breaths mingling, the kiss turned slow and languid, drawing out each slide of tongue and nip of teeth until she pulled back and rested her head on his shoulder to stare out the window again.

His hand caressed her back, up and down, soothing her into a state of half-sleep.

When she woke later, he was gone. The bed was empty but for her. Dawn was lighting the sky, sending pink and orange tendrils ribboning through the city, reaching and stretching this way and that. Yawning, she blinked at the ceiling. She didn't even have to look at the clock to know that she'd only got two hours of sleep.

Not bad, but almost worse than none at all.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Standing next to Ari, Rose felt dwarfed, as usual. He was a tall man, swamping her in height and intelligence, but he was also one of the nicest people she'd ever known. He didn't judge, and he didn't make her feel like anything less than what she was. It was nice. He was just a bit odd though, in that he liked conflict, liked to argue. And did it very well. He never took potshots though, never talked down to anyone.

Ari Rendell made her feel like an equal, which was why, when he told her that she should sit this jump out, she gaped at him, not believing him at first.

"Why?" she asked, voice a little higher than normal, shaded with surprise. But, glancing behind him, she knew immediately.

"Dr. Santiago said you haven't been sleeping well, and that maybe it'd be best if you--"

Rose glared at him and shook her head. "Santiago doesn't know what he's talking about. I'm fine. I had some problems for a while, but I've been sleeping fine the past few days." This was only her second jump since discovering the fog, since talking to the Doctor, and yet, she'd had this conversation with three of her coworkers already. "Let's hear the rest," she told him, ticking the points off on her splayed fingers. "I'm not fit for duty, I'm going mental, I'm going to crack soon and off everyone horribly and blow up the entire Earth, including, but possibly not limited to, the universe we currently reside in. Am I close?"

He snickered and shook his head, buzz-cut hair sticking up straight, not moving a single centimeter. He reminded her of nothing more than an alien race she'd met a few months after traveling with the Doctor. A race of technological military geeks; they'd policed their solar system, seeding fear, and leaving destruction in their wake.

They were arseholes of the biggest order.

Thankfully Ari's resemblance was merely aesthetic. He couldn't be more different. He, too, was military, but he was also a geek, though you wouldn't know it to look at him.

"Seriously, Rose. Are you all right?" Bright blue eyes settling over her, looking her up and down appraisingly, he shook his head. "You do look tired."

Scoffing, she shoved the lock of her flak jacket straps together. "I'm fine. Santiago's just overreacting. A few night's lost sleep and suddenly I'm going mental? What's that about?" Turning her gaze to Santiago, she glared at him, making sure he saw her distaste. He didn't look away or flinch, did nothing but watch her as they waited to jump.

Ari looked over at him as well and whistled. "He does have it in for you, doesn't he?"

Head ducked to check for her stun gun, she nodded and pulled her jumper free, palming it, looking to Tia and Duane for the go ahead. Ryan was there, beside Tia, watching her with a smile. When he noticed her eyes on him, his smile widened, turned soft.

"Go," Tia told them, waving her hand a bit in the air.

With one last look at Santiago, Rose pressed the button and felt the familiar tugging.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Downing the last of her cocoa, Rose paced to the kitchen and rinsed her mug out. Setting it in the sink, she left the kitchen, flipped off the light, and plopped on the couch with a sigh.

Flipping the telly on, she blinked at the bright screen, shielding her eyes a bit as it flickered and flashed across the room. Her usual 1 am entertainment wasn't on, so she flipped through the channels some more. She'd rather be in bed, asleep, but-- glancing behind her to the hallway that led to her room, she closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. That just wasn't happening.

A shadow passed between her and the telly and she opened her eyes. She saw tired eyes, a soft smile, and mussed hair. He sat on the coffee table in front of her, taking her hands in his. "Come back to bed."

Shivering when he lifted her hand to his lips, she shook her head. "Didn't wanna wake you." Turning her hand in his, she rubbed her thumb over his bottom lip, lightly furling her nails along his stubble-roughened cheek, smiling when he closed his eyes in response.

"You know there's no chance of that," he told her, warm skin moving under her hand. His eyes opened and focused on her. "You need to sleep. Santiago--"

She rolled her eyes and pushed to her feet, good mood suddenly gone. "To hell with Santiago."

"Language," he teased, following her to the window. Standing behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling back until she was leaning against him, then whispered in her ear. "If you come to bed I'll let you do things to me."

Laughing, she folded her arms over his, threading their fingers together. But then her laughter faded and her smile slipped from her face. "He's out there somewhere."

Nuzzling her neck, he traced a path from her ear to her shoulder. "Mm."

She turned in his arms, frowning. "It doesn't bother you, knowing that he's--"

"No." Hands settling on her waist, he drew her to him, watching her, observing her. He liked watching. "What _does_ bother me, is that you're resisting all my efforts to get you into bed."

She snorted and stood on tiptoes, lips hovering over his for a moment. "Prat. I've got a nice big couch right there. Or there's the floor. A chair. Or how about up against the wall?"

Chuckling, lips turning up in a brilliant smile, he bent down and picked her up. Carrying her to the kitchen, he set her down on the counter and stood between her legs. "How's this?"

"Brilliant," she smirked, leaning down to kiss him as the muted telly continued to flicker and flash against every available surface, including them.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"--conditions in the States?" Pete shoved the phone between his shoulder and his ear, reaching for the folder Rose was holding out to him. He opened it, flipped through the files inside, barely glancing at them before shutting it again and taking the phone in his hand. "No, that's not... right. All right. Yes, thank you."

Rose watched him heave a sigh and slip the phone back into its charger. "Nothing yet?" And though that should be good news, he looked frustrated and annoyed.

"Bit of a scare is all. Just normal fog in Washington State." Leaning his hip against his desk, he focused on her for the first time since she'd arrived.

Rose clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palms. "Regretting going global?" she asked, before he could say anything. She didn't need him to ask if she was all right, she was sick of answering that question, sick of being asked if she was sleeping, sick of being watched by Santiago.

To her relief though, he said nothing about how she looked, just shook his head distractedly. "No, not after Jake's jump yesterday." Standing up, he circled around his desk, tossing a glance at her. "You saw the footage?"

"Yeah." The fear she'd felt upon seeing the video Jake brought back from his and Chelsea's last jump swam through her again, freezing the blood in her veins. She rubbed her arms vigorously, trying to ignore the goosepbumps that rose up at the memory. It was just like what she'd seen on her own jump, only, there was no fog left behind afterward. The entire Earth had been eaten away; all that was left were a few skeletal remains.

"Tests still haven't confirmed anything," Pete said, sitting back in his chair. He clasped his hands together, resting his chin on his steepled fingers. "But we're pretty certain it was the same fog. There were no radiation readings by the scientific teams we sent back through."

Rose's eyes shot to his and her mouth dropped open a little. "Hang on, you sent people back in there? You could've got them killed, or--"

"It was safe," Pete sighed, dropping his hands to his lap. And she realized suddenly that he was exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his skin was paler than usual. Her mum must be giving him hell to take a few days off. "Neither Jake, nor Chelsea, spotted any fog nearby."

"That doesn't mean--" she began, then cut herself off. "I'm sorry. It's... not my-- you're probably right. We need to learn everything we can about it."

He breathed in deeply and stood up, planting his hands on his desk for a moment. "And, that, I'm afraid, seems to be easier said than done."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title:** Discordant  
> **Character/Pairing:** Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie  
> **Rating:** Adult  
> **Genre:** AU, Action/adventure, mystery, romance  
> **Summary:** Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?  
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who.  
> **Thanks:** to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing.

Beyond the drapes hanging from her front window, beyond her street, and even beyond the cars parked there, Rose knew he was out there, waiting, and watching. He was there every night, keeping an eye on her, spying on her, telling Pete all about how mad she was. Writing up her actions and behaviors just so that he could prove that she wasn't fit for jumping.

That the fog wasn't real. That the darkness the Doctor had warned her of wasn't anything more than her imagination running away with her.

She'd seen him nightly now, staring up at her window, not even bothering to hide from her unless Mickey came over or her mum stopped by. Only then did he stay out of sight. Right now, he was standing on the sidewalk opposite her flat, camera in hand. Every once in a while, there was a flash from it, brightening the night sky.

Grabbing the edges of the drapes, she yanked them closed and walked away from the gently swaying material.

Pete didn't really believe her. She'd warned him. Warned him that Santiago was bordering on obsession when it came to proving she wasn't fit for duty.

But, Pete merely brushed off her concerns with a scoffing noise, burying himself in real concerns, the ones facing the entire planet, and possibly the universe. And, yes, when put into that context, she realized that her unease with Santiago didn't measure high on the scale of Pete Tyler's worries, but it still bothered her, left her restless most nights and irritable most days.

Making sure the front door was locked tight, she went into her bedroom and sat in the middle of the bed, then realized that her drapes were open in here as well. Jumping up, she crossed the room quickly, yanked them shut, then dropped to the bed again, picking up a folder with Torchwood stamped in the corner of it.

The bedside lamp was warm and bright, casting a pale yellow tinge over everything, turning her red bedcovers a dark orange color. All the folders, and the pages and pages of files in them, were spread around her like a bizarre fan with alien creatures sketched and photographed on it.

She'd jumped earlier that morning and had the next day off, so she was catching up on some work Torchwood had sent her. It was still interesting to do, but it frustrated her as well. She wanted to be out there, among these aliens, finding out about them through discovering, and traveling, not picking them out of a paper lineup.

Rubbing the back of her neck with her hand, she tilted it from side to side, working the tense muscles. Footfalls sounded in the hall, and she glanced up with a smile. "Hello."

He stopped in the doorway, peering at her through his dark-rimmed glasses as he leaned against the wood frame. "You know this isn't helping, right?"

Rose squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before forcing them open again. "I'm almost done."

Pushing further into the room, he crossed to her bed and leaned over it, pressing his hands into the mattress, crinkling papers and skewing her folders. Lips centimeters away, he warned her, "Stop doing this to yourself. Please."

Resisting the urge to jerk away and snap at him, she lifted her hand to the back of his head, enjoying the sensation of his cooler skin, and brought him closer for a kiss, then dropped her hand, resuming her work. "Why don't you go fix the microwave you busted last night?" Picking up a file with a photo of an alien with a particularly nasty set of claws and teeth, she held it out to him. "Look familiar?"

His eyes grazed the paper for mere moments before he was up and leaving. "Larwurkin. They're harmless."

Slipping the file back into its folder, she sighed and flipped it closed, setting it in the Identified Pile. "Right. How could I forget? We ran into two of these guys near Blackpool right after I first..." she trailed off when she realized he was gone. He was becoming more and more irritated with her lately because she wasn't sleeping, but she didn't know what she was supposed to do about it.

Rubbing her forehead, she glared at the darkened hallway.

What did he expect her to do? When sleep didn't come, it just didn't come. No amount of irritation or him telling her to slow down was going to make it happen.

She'd sleep when she slept.

Shoving the folders aside, she climbed off the bed and stood up, pacing her room. Did he think she was a machine? Sleep when he said, work when he said, don't do this, go do that?

Well, she wasn't a bloody machine. And just because he could get by on so little sleep and not have it bother him, and decide when exactly to sleep and how long, didn't mean she could.

Flicking the curtain aside just enough to peer outside, she glanced down and saw him. Santiago. Watching her.

Always watching her.

Turning from the window, she kicked her chair. The wooden leg hurt her foot more than she'd hurt it. Shoving it aside, she tripped over her blue jacket. She'd been looking for that for months. Must've fallen behind the chair.

Scooping it up, she jumped back as an object fell to the floor with a thunk. Eric's jumper. Closing her fingers around it, she picked it up and turned it over a few times, mind whirling.

"Don't."

Sighing, she stood up and stared at him. "Don't what? I'm not doing anything."

He crossed quickly to her side and took her by the shoulders. "I know what you're thinking. Just... just please don't, Rose." Pulling her closer, he wrapped his arms around her, smoothing his hands down her back. "You're in no condition to--"

Pushing out of his arms, she left him and her bedroom behind. He didn't know what she wanted to do, or what condition she was in. She was just fine, thanks.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Dr. Luis Santiago straightened his tie as the man before him went over the files he'd brought with for him to read. Glancing at his watch, he stretched his shoulders a little bit, then smoothed the wrinkles out of his pants.

He wasn't exactly sure how he was supposed to do this, never having gone over a superior's head before, but it was something that needed to be done.

Rose Tyler was a dangerous woman.

Pete Tyler didn't see it, Ari Rendell didn't see it. Certainly her best mate Mickey didn't see. None of them did. They didn't see the desperation on her face, the dark circles under her eyes, the amount of weight she'd lost over the past few months. Since her first jump.

That's when it had all started. He'd been her doctor before the project, and during, and he was, perhaps, uniquely qualified to notice the changes in her. Rose was losing her mind, and she was taking Torchwood down with her. She had all of them believing her with very little evidence, and they were running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

All because she'd seen a phenomenon in one universe that didn't look normal to her. It might be normal for that Earth. It might be an hallucination, or a delusion.

And that she'd spoken to the famous 'Doctor'... there was no proof of that either.

Breathing in deep, he calmed himself, settling his hands on the arms of his chair. This meeting was important, very important, and if Dr. Brons didn't see what he, himself, saw, then he was on his own.

And Rose Tyler's sanity and life were at stake.

Another minute passed in silence, then Dr. Brons closed the thick folder stuffed full of notations and photos and observations, as well as medical records, and crossed his arms over it, leaning forward with a sigh. "I believe we have a very serious problem here, Dr.."

Santiago breathed a sigh of relief.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Sometimes, her job sucked. Today was one of those days.

Trudging through a marsh, filled with bugs and animals--ones that apparently howled very loudly and were very close to where she and Ari were--that she'd rather not think about, Rose glanced over at Ari and curled her lip up in disgust. He was covered, head-to-toe, in marsh water. And he stunk.

But then again, she was in just as bad a shape as he was. After all, they'd both dropped straight into the marsh with the jumpers. No Powell Estates in this universe. Barely anything recognizable at all. Plants, trees, animals, fish and bugs, yeah. Blue sky, tall yellow grass, green stalks here and there, but no buildings. This Earth looked like it'd broken free of hers long before humans came about. Although, there could be humans just on the other side of the marsh where the tree line cut off the swamp.

"Can we go now?" she asked, slapping at her cheek as another bug bit her. It was miserable here, hot and humid and... swampy. There were no signs of the fog that they could see; everything was still alive and thriving. But if there were a chance that it was headed their way, that it was somewhere around, then they needed to know, to be able to study it.

Pete's top priority for these jumps was to find the fog, and to contact the Doctor.

This planet held no hope for the Doctor, just like every other jump she'd done since first being contacted by him. And she didn't understand it. Occasionally, when she was at home, alone, she wondered if she'd imagined his call. There'd been no record of it, as Santiago felt compelled to point out to Pete several times, but that didn't mean anything.

Slipping her mobile free from her flak jacket, she opened it and held it up, trying to get a signal above the tree line. She'd tried three times already since arriving here, and there'd been nothing but static.

One more try wouldn't hurt.

Squinting into the bright afternoon sun, she pressed the number for the TARDIS, then held the phone to her ear, idly watching Ari go about his tests. When it actually began to ring in her ear, she nearly dropped it into the swamp.

"It's ringing," she yelled to Ari, mud-covered, but dry now on one of the sandbars a dozen meters away. Pulling the phone from her ear, she peered at it, then pressed it even harder to her ear. "Doctor!"

Excitement rang in her, making her heart double its beat. Her grin couldn't be dimmed and her fingers itched to grab someone and jump up and down with him or her.

Then the call was answered and she heard his voice again.

Heard the Doctor's voice. Tears burned her eyes at the simple hello he sent her, simple, but full of curiosity. Then, "Rose?! Is that you? I've been tr-- you for... --ow."

"It's me, it's me! God, it's so good to hear your voice."

"Rose," Ari shouted. He was on his feet now, waving to get her attention. "The fog. Ask about the fog!"

"Oh, right," she mumbled, waving to let him know she'd heard him. "Doctor, tell me about the fog. We need to know--"

The static grew worse, and the line crackled a few times, then a high-pitched whine sounded in her ear. She briefly pulled the phone free, and then immediately pressed it back to her ear again. "--is dange... stay-- from-- near it! ...kill y-- hear...? --of water-- elect-- ...ity. Rose..."

"But, what is it?" she asked, fighting desperately to understand him, but he was cutting out too badly for her to make sense of anything more than what he'd already told her. "Doctor?"

"The darkness. --ove..."

And then there was silence. Rose wanted to throw the phone hard into the distance, but she kept a tight grip on it, held it tight, closing it softly. "He's gone," she told Ari as he approached. Pressing the back of her hand to her nose, she sniffled and blinked back tears. She wasn't going to cry.

Not again. Not anymore.

He was there, and she wasn't going insane. It was just a matter of time before they found one another again, and when that happened... she'd hold him so tight, tighter than her phone, and she'd never let him go again.

She was going to be with the Doctor forever.

*~*~*~*~*~*

As soon as her feet were on the ground, Rose turned to Ari and hugged him, jumping in place a little. Silly grin gracing her face, she got a sudden whiff of them and pulled back. "We stink!" she laughed, hugging him again before turning to Pete and-- the empty lobby. "Where is everybody?" she asked, smile falling from her lips.

Only Tia was still around, busy behind her computer, pushing her chair from this one to that, as she collected all the data from their jump.

"Hey, Tia," Ari called out, prying his jacket off, leaving dried flaking bits of mud all over the floor. "What's going on?"

She held up a finger, typed for another few seconds before slumping in her chair with a sigh. "Bigwig meeting. Tyler sent everyone home but me. Needed someone to collect your data." Eyes falling on Rose, she darted a glance at her monitor then back. "Your heart rate spiked there near the end of the jump. Something happen?"

"Got a call," Ari said, smiling and peeling his shirt from his skin.

"Yeah," Rose said, tossing a look at Pete's office. "Who's in there?" She had a sneaking suspicion this had something to do with her. Her good mood was beginning to spiral out of control, simmering into anger. "Is it Santiago?"

She saw Tia exchange a brief glance with Ari before returning her gaze back to Rose. "Yeah. Him, Tyler, and some higher up I've never seen before. They've only been in there twenty minutes and I've heard three arguments already."

Rose nodded and headed toward Pete's office.

"Rose, you can't go in there," Tia called out in a panicked voice. "Your dad said not to let you in!" When Rose merely continued walking, she heard Tia grumble, "You are _so_ gonna get me fired."

That was possible and she'd be sorry about it, but that was for later. Right now all Rose could think about was getting in there and hearing what they were saying about her. Hearing what lies Santiago was telling Pete now. Because she knew he was, knew he was spreading more malicious lies about what she was doing. Who she was with. What she said. What she did. All of it. He was privy to every bit of her life because he was stalking her, watching her flat at night, taking pictures of her.

He probably had a wall full of photographs of her and--

"Don't go in there, Rose." That was Ari, and she turned briefly to give him a wounded look. He was usually her supporter, didn't take any guff from anyone. Listened to her ramblings about Santiago without so much as a bad word and she knew he believed her. So why would he stop her from sticking up for herself?

Didn't matter. Right now, all that mattered was getting to Pete and pointing out how obsessed Santiago was.

Twisting the doorknob, she shoved the door open and went inside.

There were three men in Pete's office, two of whom she knew, and one she'd never seen before. He was sitting before Pete's desk, looking comfortable and relaxed, eyes on her from the moment she entered. She could almost feel him assessing her, noting her worth and evaluating her sanity. But he said nothing, did nothing. Moments later, his eyes returned to Pete.

Pete was behind his desk, and as soon as she stormed in, he stood up. "Rose, please wait out in the--"

"No," she scoffed, not letting Santiago's supercilious look down at her deter her in the slightest. She crossed to the desk, pushing Santiago aside, and stopped to face Pete and Pete alone. "What's going on?"

Pete watched her for a moment before closing his eyes with a long-suffering sigh. "Rose Tyler, I'd like you to meet Dr. Steven Brons, he's the head of medicine for Torchwood. All research, technology, and artifacts that are medical in nature go through his branch."

"And all minor cuts and bruises as well as the nasty injuries," Brons said with a small smile as he stood up, holding out his hand. "Ms. Tyler, it's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard quite a lot about you."

Rose stared at his hand for a moment before shaking it, mud and all. "I'm sure you have," she told him, flicking her gaze toward Santiago.

Brons' smile widened as he brushed the dried mud from his palm. "You're quite an extraordinary young lady."

Scoffing, she turned back to Pete. "A meeting about me and I wasn't invited. Not very nice of you." Sniffing sharply, she moved to the other side of the room, away from Brons and Santiago. Only a few meters, but enough that she felt comfortable again.

"They're concerned about you, Rose. And, frankly," sitting back down on his cushy, expensive leather chair, Pete glanced down at the thick folder in front of him, "I am as well." He pulled a file free and read through it. "Did you know the retrieval devices keep vitals as well as gather information about the universes you visit?" Eyes rising to hers, she thought she saw a hint of guilt there, but she couldn't be sure.

Her heart pounded hard, wondering what he was getting at. Wondering what Santiago had told Pete to make him believe his lies. She _had_ known about the vitals, knew that that was how they kept tabs on the jumpers, but there was something else, something Pete hadn't told them.

Or was it just her?

"Yeah," she said clearly, succinctly, crossing her arms over her chest. "We all know that."

Santiago put on his concerned-face and turned toward her, speaking for the first time. "You're unwell, Rose. Your blood pressure is high, iron levels are low, potassium levels have skyrocketed, and your heart rate has increased by a few beats per minute." Eyes on her, he moved a little closer and she had to resist the urge to squirm away from him.

He was lying, couldn't Pete and Brons see it?

There, plain on his face, was the lie that he spoke every time he opened his mouth. Every time he tried for sincerity. He had none, it was all false, and Pete was buying it.

And Tia? she thought, remembering Tia's comment about her heart rate.

Drawing in a sharp breath, she looked toward the lobby, on the other side of Pete's office door. Was Tia supplying Rose's information to Santiago? Giving him details of her jumps? All this time, she'd thought Tia was her friend. Was it possible that she was spying on her?

Turning her gaze back to Santiago, she narrowed her eyes. "Heart rate and pulse I can understand. How d'you know about that other stuff?"

"Excellent question," Pete said, closing the folder and waiting for Santiago's answer.

Santiago drew in a breath, and faced Pete. "I altered her retrieval device after her evaluation so that it tested more than vitals. Something else was going on in her physiology, something not explained by blood pressure and pulse. I needed to know more."

Rose laughed bitterly. "I can't believe you're buying into his fantasy, Pete. He's obsessed, and you and," she tossed a glance at Brons, then turned back to Pete, "him, the both of you are--" but then something struck her and she smiled smugly. "I have proof."

Pete smiled in relief, looking hopeful. "Let's see it."

Santiago shook his head and leaned over Pete's desk with a sigh. "Don't encourage her delusions, Pete."

Anger poured through her and she glared at Santiago while Brons waved a hand in her direction. "Let the girl prove herself, Dr.."

Flinching at the familiar title and burning with fury at the situation, Rose turned on her heel and left Pete's office. Tia and Ari were still there, talking quietly. They looked up when she came out. "Ari, c'mere," she called, smiling widely, thrilled that she was, once and for all, going to prove Santiago wrong. Because she wasn't mental. She was as sane as he was.

Ari straightened up from where he was leaning over the weapons table and pointed at himself. "Me? What for?"

Rolling her eyes, she gestured to him. "Just get over here."

Footsteps squeaking across the marble floor, he shrugged at Tia and joined Rose, squeezing past her and into the room. All three men stared at him, and Ari stared back with a confused confidence.

"Ari Rendell," Pete said, gesturing to Brons, "this is Dr. Steven Brons. Dr. Brons, this is Rose's jumping partner."

"Pleasure," Brons murmured and Ari did the same. There was an awkward handshake that Rose dragged Ari from, pulling him to Pete's desk.

Something in her made her want to scream at the situation. This was ridiculous. All of it, and yet, here she was being forced to prove her sanity to a trio of men. "I got another call from the Doctor," she told Pete, speaking loudly and clearly so that Santiago and Brons heard her. "On our last jump."

"Awfully convenient," Santiago said mildly. "Just when you need proof, suddenly you got another call from your mysterious Doctor."

"Let her speak," Pete told Santiago, tossing him an irritated glance. "Is he coming, Rose? Do you know if he can help?"

She shook her head, slipping her phone from her flak jacket, rubbing the screen with her thumb. "It was staticky, like last time. He said... well, I think he said something about electricity and water, but I can't be sure. But I clearly heard him say: the darkness."

"And the proof, Ms Tyler?" Dr. Brons asked, smiling kindly in her direction.

Feeling like she finally, _finally_ had someone at least partially on her side, she stood back and gestured to Ari. "Ari was there, he can tell you."

Ari looked around at her, eyes wide. "I-- Rose," he began, shaking his head with a sickly look. "I didn't... well, I wasn't really close enough to hear _you_, let alone, the Doctor."

So much for him thriving on conflict, she thought. He was practically falling apart under her gaze. Scoffing at him, she turned to face the rest of them. Feeling their eyes on her, feeling them sizing her up, wondering if she were mental, wondering if, at any moment, she'd snap and start throwing things or attack them with scissors.

She couldn't deny she had the urge to do so, but not because of any mental problems. How was she supposed to prove herself sane, if nobody let her?

Turning on her heel, she left Pete's office behind, thinking it was becoming habit to storm out of Torchwood Estates. Tia started to say something, but Rose, feeling betrayed on all fronts, didn't stop, or even look in her direction.

Tia was a traitor, feeding Santiago information. Ari didn't believe her about talking to the Doctor, nor about Santiago having it in for her. All those times she'd complained to him about Santiago, she thought he'd believed her, but apparently he was just counting the ways she was crazy.

And Pete! Her own father. Sort of. Although, not anymore. From this day forward, Pete Allen Tyler was her boss, not her father.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Back at home, Rose stared out the window, wondering when he'd show up. Wondering when Santiago and his camera would come out and start snapping photos of her again. Well, she hoped he got some good shots of her drapes, because that's all he'd be seeing anymore. The drapes would stay shut from now on.

She'd sped all the way home, probably not the best idea in her current mood, but it helped to take her mind off Pete and Santiago and Brons.

And Ari.

And Tia.

Rubbing her head, she shook out a few paracetamol and downed them with water. Her list of people involved in Santiago's plans was growing, but as she began to calm, began to think more clearly, she realized that she was probably overreacting. Ari couldn't help it, he'd only been telling the truth. He'd been too far away to hear the Doctor's voice, to hear the concern in his every word.

Sighing, she moved to the kitchen and set her glass on the counter beside the microwave.

Ari and Tia weren't involved, it was just her anger that made her think of them as spies detailing her every move, her every word.

That was paranoia, and she certainly wasn't paranoid.

So, Tia and Ari were safe, and Pete... he probably wasn't really buying into Santiago's fantasy. Not completely. He was just worried about her, and if she looked at this from his point of view, she could see his concern. He was married to her mother, he was her boss, and his son was her sibling, of course he had only her best interests at heart.

So just Santiago and Brons then. They wanted her off the project for some reason. Wanted her to stop jumping. Santiago didn't believe she was in contact with the Doctor, didn't believe the fog was coming.

The darkness.

That's what the Doctor had called it. And she was terrified of it. Something so innocuous, and yet, so deadly that it killed every living thing, and devoured entire buildings, leaving behind empty shells; that was the stuff of nightmares.

And yet Santiago refused to believe it was out there, despite the proof. Despite other jumpers having seen it. Having seen the aftermath of a world devastated by it.

How could he, as a doctor, actually care so little about human life that he'd allow his own vindictive vendetta to get in the way of stopping something that would kill every living thing on this planet? It was beyond her grasp. She didn't understand. But, she didn't need to, she just needed to stay out of his way until she found the Doctor and they figured out how to stop the darkness.

Opening the fridge, she shivered at the colder air and stared at the empty shelves, sighing. She needed to do some shopping. For now though, she grabbed a can of cola and a couple of biscuits from the counter.

Walking through the darkened room, she resumed her vigil by the window, scanning the street for any sign of Santiago.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title:** Discordant  
> **Character/Pairing:** Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie  
> **Rating:** Adult  
> **Genre:** AU, Action/adventure, mystery, romance  
> **Summary:** Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?  
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who.  
> **Thanks:** to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing.

Readying herself for her jump the next day, Rose cautiously observed everyone and everything around her. Pete had called her early that morning, telling her to come in for her jump as usual, that he'd been able to hold Santiago off for at least another day, but he wasn't sure just how much longer he'd be able to do so.

This could very well be her last jump. And she intended to make the most of it. She'd call the Doctor, and-- clicking the fasteners on her flak jacket, she glanced up when she heard footsteps, startled to see Ryan approaching her.

He stopped in front of her and stuck his hands in his pockets, peering at her through his dark-framed glasses. "Rose."

Returning her eyes to her flak jacket, she un-clicked and clicked the straps again. "Hey."

"I haven't seen you since the other night," he muttered, leaning closer with his upper body. "Doin' all right?"

The other night? When had she seen him the other night? Wracking her brain for what he could possibly be talking about, she came up blank. He'd been acting odd lately though. Just the other day he'd got all flustered when Duane asked him where he'd been the night before.

Maybe he had a new girlfriend.

Feeling the urge to chuckle, to just flat out laugh out loud, she fought her smile and turned to him, shoving her stun gun into its designated pouch. "Yeah. Fine. Thank you, Ryan. I'll see you later, yeah?" Heading over to Ari, she took a deep breath and let it out in a rush as she approached. "I'm sorry," she said right away, frowning down at the floor for a second before forcing herself to look him in the eye.

Ari observed her for a few seconds, then broke into a smile. "No apologies necessary, Rose." His eyes slipped past her to Ryan as he went back to the computers, then crossed the room to Pete's office. "You were attacked in there. I'm sorry I wasn't able to back you up. For the record, I believe you completely."

Breathing a sigh of relief, feeling some of the weight sloughing off her shoulders, she cleared her throat and positioned herself for their jump. "Thank you, Ari. Santiago is-- I just, I feel like he's got it in for me, and I can't figure out why. What I did to him."

He pooh-poohed her words away with a wave of his hand, scoffing at the idea. "Santiago is a good doctor, but I see it too. He's got you in his sights, and he won't stop until he either sees this fog himself, or the Doctor lands his little green box--"

"Blue," she corrected with a grin, nudging him with her arm.

"Right. Blue box. Right there," he told her, pointing toward the corner of the lobby, where a large, fake potted plant sat. "Can't wait to see that."

She snickered, picturing the plant being surrounded by the TARDIS and the Doctor staring at it in confusion. He'd leave it there too, she knew. Just leave it there and it'd become one of those things, like the coat rack. Well, he called it a hat rack. Sometimes a scarf rack.

"Ready?" Ryan called out.

Looking over to him, she saw his eyes quickly dart away from hers and down to his monitor. There was an awkward feeling spreading between them. She wasn't sure what was going on, but it was definitely making things weird. "Yeah."

"Yep." Ari occupied himself with his own flak jacket, checking his equipment, pulling things free, and shoving them back in.

"You're good to go," Ryan told them, tapping rapidly on his computer, paying no more attention to them.

Rose pulled her jumper free and looked to Ari quickly before pressing it. There was the familiar pulling, tugging, and displacement, then she was surrounded by bright sunlight. Glancing around, she took in everything in a single glance and knew right away that this wasn't her universe. The buildings were different, shorter, more like adobe huts than London flats. There wasn't a blade of grass, a single tree, anything living.

A red tinge covered everything, all the houses, the buildings, the cars, even her and Ari. Squinting into the sun, she pulled out a pair of sunglasses and slipped them on. It was actually sort of pretty here.

Ari staggered beside her, holding his arm up to block out the light. "Bloody hell that's bright! And hot."

Rose chuckled and shrugged, turning around slowly for a more leisurely look. "I don't know, I kind of like it here. It's soothing."

"I take back what I said earlier, Rose. You're extremely mental." Shoving his sunglasses onto his face, he looked around and held up his jumper. "Let's get out of here."

"Gimme a second to call the Doctor." Pulling her phone free, she flipped it open and checked for reception. There wasn't any, but she hit send anyway, calling the TARDIS. Static.

A sense of urgency went through her and she hung up and dialed again. This could be her last chance ever.

She tried again. Still nothing.

Grunting in disappointment, she shoved her mobile back into her pocket. Feeling the sense of urgency kick up another notch, she shook herself. What was wrong with her?

Ari stumbled to the side, ducking down behind a car with a modicum of shade. She frowned at him, not quite sure why he was acting like it was a thousand degrees out.

"Oi, old man," she taunted. "When'd you get so sun-shy?" Spinning around with her arms spread wide, she laughed at the warmth tickling her skin. "It's nice out here!"

He turned, still hunkered down, gaping at her. "Rose, get out of the sun."

Blinking at him, surprised by the serious tone of his voice, she frowned. His face was red, sunburnt, starting to blister. And he didn't look too good. Seemed to be having trouble breathing as well.

"Ari?" She quickly crossed to him and knelt down. Holding her hand to his forehead, she pulled back at the heat radiating off his skin. "You need to get out of here." Glancing back up at the sun, she squinted behind her glasses and pulled her jumper free. Turning back to him, she saw that he'd sat down on the street and there was smoke coming up from where his hand was resting. "Let's go," she urged him.

He heaved a ragged breath and reached for his jumper, but his hand dropped uselessly to his lap before he even touched it. "Can't breathe," he gasped.

Shoving his arm aside, feeling that panic surface in her again, she dug into his jacket pocket and found the jumper. Pressing it into his hand, she depressed the button on his and pressed her own at the same time, catching, just out of the corner of her eye, a familiar, silver insignia on the car in front of them as it faded from view; a wolf.

Falling, swirling, being yanked and pulled apart, then she was on the marble floor, holding Ari.

Dropping her jumper, she grabbed him as he slipped to the floor, catching himself with his un-burnt hand. "I'm good," he told her, pushing into a sitting position. He breathed in a few times, deeper each time until he was finally breathing normally. But his face was still a bright shade of red, and his hands and neck were as well. Pulling his sunglasses off, he blinked a few times, eyes adjusting to the change in lighting.

She removed hers as well, feeling something wrong. Something completely off. Standing up, she glanced around the lobby, feeling something burning inside her, feeling that urgency again. Something was happening.

Duane and Pete rushed over to Ari, and Rose backed away.

"What happened?" Pete asked, dropping beside Ari, holding his burnt hand up for inspection. Tia and Ryan were peering past the computers, watching them as Duane helped Ari up. "Severe burns, and sunburn," he mumbled, turning his attention to Rose.

She backed away a few more steps, hearing her pulse pounding in her ears and feeling her palms becoming damp with sweat. Eyes darting around the room, she searched for one man in particular, knowing he was coming.

"You're not sunburnt," Pete said in disbelief. "The readings were off the charts. What happened to--"

"Santiago." She stared at Pete, unable to believe he'd betrayed her.

Pete shook his head as Duane helped Ari toward the infirmary. "He's not here, Rose. Dr. Bilson is on duty. Santiago isn't--"

"Here," she said angrily and slammed her hand down on her jumper.

Tapping a few final keys, Ryan straightened up from his computer with a sad smile.

"What'd you do?" Tia hissed, eyes darting from him to his computer, then over to the jump area. Footsteps sounded distantly as Ryan sighed and sat down, pushing his hands through his hair.

"Put in new coordinates," he said simply, straightening his glasses. "Giving her one more chance."

A moment later, Santiago walked into the lobby with Dr. Brons and three other men and Pete stared at the spot Rose had just been.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Rose landed hard on the ground, unprepared for the jump this time. She felt grass beneath her fingers, tickling her palms. Glancing up, she realized she was on the lawn of the Powell Estates, just outside her own building. Santiago might be coming to take her away from the project, or shut it down completely, she wasn't sure which, but she was determined to get in as many jumps as possible before that happened.

Climbing unsteadily to her feet, she looked at the building, seeing the familiar crack in the door, the break in the sidewalk, the dirt beside her where the lawn was worn down, and the dented rubbish bin.

Running quickly to the right, she stared at the basketball court and the spray painted **Bad Wolf** that still graced the wall. Excitement pumped through her, though she tamped it down. She'd been disappointed so many times before that one more might just break her completely. Running again, this time to the park where she'd landed the last time with the Doctor, she spun in place, staring at all the familiar things at once, drinking it all in like a man dying of thirst.

The swing that was crooked because a chain was missing from the link, the broken roundabout that wobbled dangerously close to the ground on the north side.

A couple of kids went down the slide and she smiled at them, wishing, for a brief moment, that she had that life back again, but then she shoved that thought aside. She wouldn't give up the Doctor for anything, not even the simplicity of youth.

A young couple walked by, bundled against the cold, and she realized, by their red noses and cheeks and the way they huddled against one another, that it was a rather cold day, but her excitement and the adrenaline pumping through her didn't allow her to feel the cold; in fact, she was actually sweating. Down at the other end of the park, she saw a boy and his father flying a kite.

This looked so much like a nice, idyllic place, though not far from here, things had gone horribly wrong more than once.

If this was her home, then there, up on that balcony, she thought, looking toward her old building, the Doctor had burned with regeneration sickness. That stairwell was where she'd chased him down, got him to talk to her after he blew up Henriks.

And this park, she thought, losing her smile, turning toward the small playground, was where she'd seen the Doctor during one of her last happy moments with him.

Before it all went pear-shaped.

Pulling her phone from her pocket, she flipped it open and thumbed through the numbers, staring blankly at the screen. This was it. This might be her last jump ever. If she didn't get home now, she might never do so.

Eyeing her jumper, she wondered if she could just press it then immediately press it again and be gone on another jump, another Earth, another chance before Santiago and Brons stopped her.

Wondered if she would ever make it back to the Doctor.

Turning her gaze back to the kite, she watched it soar for a minute, noting the lack of zeppelins dotting the horizon. It was always a nice sight, the empty sky.

Well, no time like the present.

She was just about to press the send button when she heard a familiar voice. Achingly familiar. Her finger slipped from the button, her heartbeat sped up, and she froze in place.

In the distance, not quite near enough for her to hear more than a few mumbled words, she could hear him. Could hear him talking to someone, thanking them.

Snapping her mobile shut, she shoved it back in her pocket and ran toward his voice, legs and heart pumping in rhythm with her pulse. The world shook with each step, vision blurring through her tears. But it was him, it was the Doctor! Pushing herself harder, faster, she rounded the corner of the building and came to a stop.

There. At the end of a street near the Powell Estates, was one of the most beautiful sights in the world-- no, the universe. It was absolutely breathtaking. Just a hundred meters away, the TARDIS stood, parked carefully out of the way, tucked into a nook around the corner.

"Oh, you're gorgeous!" she crowed, doubling over with laughter, bracing her hands on her knees as she struggled for breath.

Inside her head, there was a tickling feeling, something crawling around and then suddenly it burned and it was wonderful. The TARDIS recognized her, knew her, was humming in her mind.

She began to laugh again, choking on the cold air around her, breathing out bursts of fog.

Then she sobered. The fog. She needed to talk to the Doctor, needed to find him, to stop the fog from devouring Pete's world. Looking around desperately, she searched for the one man, the only man she wanted to see right now. The only one she ever wanted to see again. Where was he?

She'd heard him, she knew she had. He was around here somewhere.

Spinning in a circle, she examined every person, looking for the familiar. Kids, a couple, father and son. A woman walking her dog. An elderly man sitting on a bench, a woman with a pram, and--

There.

He was there. Walking down the street toward the TARDIS, pulling out his key. Such a familiar sight, so much so that her heart felt like it was breaking at seeing the familiar black leather jacket, jumper, and jeans.

That daft smile that she knew was always there, ready to break out across his face.

Big nose, big ears, and... she loved him. Loved him so much that she felt tears spilling down her cheeks. She'd found him. She'd found the Doctor and the TARDIS and everything was going to be okay again.

Her life wasn't on hold anymore.

Running toward him, she began to shout his name, to call for him, anticipating one of his huge bear hugs and the warmth it would bring inside and out. She planned on snogging him as well, finally snogging him and doing everything she'd never had the nerve to do before.

But then she felt something tugging on her insides.

_No!_

Something grabbed her stomach and twisted it, stopping her in her tracks, still a dozen meters away from him. Not close enough.

Not now! She wanted to scream--to rail at Santiago--that she'd found him, she'd finally found the Doctor, and he could help them all, but Santiago wouldn't believe her, never had before.

As her insides were pinched and spread apart, she screamed out her frustration and saw the Doctor turn, startled, looking directly at her for a split second before she was torn from him yet again. It was Canary Wharf all over again.

When she landed, she felt herself retching, although she wasn't sure if it was from the use of the retrieval device or because of her anger and disappointment. She huddled where she was for a moment, just a moment, just long enough to get her stomach under control before jumping to her feet and spinning to face Santiago.

He was there, as she knew he would be, watching her with his arms crossed over his chest. Brons was there as well, and Pete and a few other men she didn't know. They were arguing, accusations and insults flying back and forth.

She didn't bother with any of it, just turned to Ryan and told him to set the coordinates for that jump again. "I found him," she said loudly, talking over the man that was practically yelling at Pete. "I found the Doctor. Send me back. Please, Ryan, before he leaves Earth. Send me back!"

Ryan looked back at her sadly, shaking his head with regret. "I-- I can't, Rose. They've shut it down." He gestured to a man standing between him and Tia.

Oh, god.

Panic settled in her, fluttering in her chest and she noticed that her head felt empty again, alone without the TARDIS there. "I don't care, Ryan, you've got to send me back."

"Send her back," Pete told Ryan, hurrying over to Rose, checking her over. "You really found him? It was your universe?"

She nodded, unable to speak for fear of bursting into sobs. This wasn't fair, it was happening again. She was being torn from the Doctor! "Send me back!" she screamed, and the entire room went silent.

But she didn't care, she was past that now. All that mattered was getting back to the Doctor. Then solving the fog problem. Tears streamed down her cheeks as Brons stopped in front of her.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Tyler, but he can't do that." He put his hand on her shoulder and she jerked away from his touch.

"Why not? Just start it all up again. Just one jump, that's all."

"One jump, then five," Santiago said, sighing. "We can't be sure you got back at all, now can we, Rose?" He paced toward her, looking down on her briefly before reaching into her flak jacket and pulling her jumper free. "Look at yourself, Ms. Tyler." He shook his head sadly, handing the jumper to one of the other men as Rose cursed herself for not thinking about that. For not just grabbing it and immediately hitting the button to get back. "You're so far gone that you've forgotten how to use the dimension cannon. You've cost this company a lot of money in your search for a man you're infatuated with. Isn't that right?"

Scoffing, she stepped back, away from him and his fake concern. "I-- that's not what this is about." Glancing at Pete, she gestured to him. "Tell them, Pete. This is about the fog. It's dangerous and it's coming--"

"Told to us by a woman who will do anything to return to her lover," Santiago said sadly, turning to one of the men with him. "Sir, this is costing the company untold billions, just so she can find this mysterious Doctor. She hasn't really found him. This is just another one of her delusions. Or a false statement to get her father to keep the project alive."

"You don't know anything, Santiago!" she screamed, shoving at him. "I found him." Turning back to Pete, she grabbed his lapels. "Please, Pete, you have to believe me. I found him. He was there. He can help us. Just send me back."

Pete tore his eyes from her and glanced at the man Santiago had addressed. "Sir, let me just send one of my men to check out her story. If she's right, if she's..." he inhaled and his eyes flickered away from her briefly, "if she's not hallucinating again, then, we will know one way or another."

"No, Pete, I told you, you're no longer in charge here." He nodded to the man beside him, who moved toward Ryan. At least he looked unhappy at the turn of events, Rose thought.

But, Pete wasn't giving up just yet, and she felt a swell of love for him. "Just one trip, sir, it won't take but a moment--"

"I said no, Mr. Tyler! This project is over. The cash we've been hemorrhaging is coming to an end. Grab her."

Rose snapped to attention, backing away from Santiago, who made a move to reach out for her, but his hands closed on air. She darted to the left, backing further away and was grabbed from behind by two strong arms. Something was shoved into her upper arm, and she felt a pinch, then something liquid shooting into her veins.

"Stop it," Pete yelled, "you don't need to sedate her. She's not dangerous."

"On the contrary," Santiago said in a low voice, "you have no idea the danger she's brought to you, Pete. This project is being shut down, and you're being replaced as head of Torchwood's London offices effective immediately."

"This is ridiculous!" Pete yelled and Rose tuned him out, barely able to hear him anymore.

His voice drew out in long sounds, and the colors and shapes around her were beginning to blur and blob until she couldn't tell one thing from another. The arms loosened from around her and she slipped to the floor in a puddle. Pressing her hands to the cold marble surface, she tried to push herself up, but couldn't seem to make her arms straighten out and work. Her eyes were closing, slowly, so very slowly, and she felt unbearably hot.

There was a warmth that swept through the room, dragging her down with it, making her want to just curl up and fall asleep, not caring what was happening anymore.

All her worries drifted away, and her concerns about the Doctor faded. She'd found him, she thought, smiling to herself as she slid the rest of the way to the floor, closing her eyes.

She'd found the Doctor.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Mickey turned the lock on Rose's flat, feeling like an intruder as he pushed the door open, hesitating in the doorway. This was her home and he was invading it. He shouldn't be here. But apparently Pete didn't have a problem with little things like invasion of privacy. Pressing the door open further, Pete stepped inside and stopped after a few feet with an indrawn breath.

"Bloody... hell," he muttered.

Bracing himself, preparing for anything, Mickey stepped inside Rose's flat and stopped dead, not in any way prepared for this. Just about anything but this.

This was categorical proof.

Proof that his best mate, his ex-girlfriend, the woman he still loved, was mental. Rose Marion Tyler was completely mental.

There were folders covering every available surface, some stuffed with crinkled papers, others empty. Scribbled words covered the front of most of them, chaotic writings that barely resembled Rose's handwriting:

_Identified_

_Non-Identified_

Opening one of the nearby folders, he saw a crude pencil drawing of a Slitheen complete with scribbled stats below it.

"God," he whispered, feeling sick. He moved further into the lounge, turning in a slow circle. The walls were covered as well, with pages upon pages of her own alien files. The drapes were hanging by just a few hooks, the furniture grouped into a small cluster. Amid the pages on the walls, there were newspaper clippings; taped up, tacked, some shoved onto crooked nails.

"What are these?" Pete mumbled, turning on a lamp.

Lifting a file aside, Mickey read the piece. "Fog. They're all about fog. Weather reports... from all around the world." Heart sinking, he pushed more aside. "And wolves." She'd drawn wolves on the plain white wall as well. "Bad wolf."

"What's that?" Pete asked, moving toward the kitchen, brow furrowed, mouth tight. "What's bad wolf?"

Mickey shook his head. "Rose is. Well, was. Way I understand it she became... something else when she was with the Doctor. The first Doctor. But that's gone now. She's just Rose again." Flicking a folder open, seeing the frantic writing spread across the sheet of paper, he swallowed hard. "I thought so anyway."

Pete flipped the kitchen light on and sighed. "Maybe that's what's wrong with her. Maybe whatever happened with her when she was with the Doctor, made her--"

"Much as I'd like to blame the Doctor for this, we can't just assume that's what's going on." There was a tea tray on the kitchen counter with a cup half full and another mostly full, both were moldy. Beside the cups was a plate of biscuits; they were covered in mold as well. "This could be something different." Much as he hated to believe it, this might all be on Rose, because he'd met a former companion of the Doctor's and she hadn't gone mental.

And if there was even a tiny chance that the bad wolf thing could have driven Rose insane, the Doctor would've told her, would've done everything possible to keep it from happening. He loved her, Mickey knew that. The Doctor loved Rose just as much as she loved him, maybe more, and there was no way he'd allow her to get hurt.

Frowning at the microwave turned on its side, bits of its insides spread out on the counter, he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

His heart was breaking with each new sign of her mental instability. How could he not have seen this? How could all of them, but Santiago, have missed the obvious?

"Didn't you visit her recently?" Pete asked, and Mickey was relieved to see the pain on the older man's face. He knew Pete cared about Rose too, but how much had always been a mystery. "She told me you came by just a few days ago."

Mickey shook his head and left the kitchen. "Haven't been here in months," he said, feeling regret fill him. If he had, if he'd insisted they come here, instead of going out to eat all the time, he might've been able to see it in time. He might've--

A hand landed on his shoulder, startling him. "Don't beat yourself up. It's on all of us. We all should've seen it."

Shrugging, Mickey went into Rose's bedroom and saw the damage she'd done there. The walls were in the same condition as the rest of her flat, drapes on the floor in a puddle, file folders on the chair, the bed, the nightstand.

The closet door was open and inside hung a dozen brown pinstriped suits, all completely put together, all in a row. Lined up neatly beneath them was a row of Chucks, laces tied, brand new, just waiting to be worn.

Moving toward the nightstand, he picked up a pair of dark-rimmed glasses. They looked just like the Doctor's.

Beside them were a couple dozen foil packets of condoms.

Feeling nauseous, he fled her bedroom, fled her flat, running out into the hall, gasping for breath. He leaned against the plain white wall across from her door, squeezing his eyes shut tight as he drew in lungful after lungful of air. "Rose," he whispered, impatiently swiping at the tears burning in his eyes. His throat felt tight, chest even tighter, and he wanted to scream.

To shout out his frustration and anger. Burning in him was an anger at Rose. He wanted to go to her and grab her, to scream and yell and shout at her until she was sane again.

Curling his fingers into fists, he stood up straight and turned to face Pete, who was standing in the doorway watching him.

"All right?" Pete asked.

"No," Mickey said, shaking his head and taking one last deep breath before heading back into her flat. "I am so far from all right with this, Pete." Grabbing the folder nearest to him, he picked it up and flipped it open, showing the phony files to Pete. Then he grabbed another folder, and another and another and another until he was grabbing and tearing at each one, each loose page, each file. "Rose was going insane right under our noses." Fisting the folders, he threw them to the couch. "Why didn't I see it? Or you? Or Jackie?"

"I dunno, mate, she hid it pretty well." Pete frowned, staring at the wall beside the telly. "Isn't that...? It's the Doctor's ship. The---" he snapped his fingers, "what's it called?" he muttered, moving closer, running his hand down the blue rectangle of wall.

Mickey slid his eyes from the crudely painted drawing, not wanting to see--not caring to see--any more proof of Rose's obsession with the Doctor. "The TARDIS." It made him think _he_ was going mental. For not seeing, not understanding. He'd believed her about the fog. Believed she'd talked to the Doctor. There hadn't been a single doubt in his mind before now.

Rose had been locked away for two days now, and though she was strapped to a bed, raving, he'd been sure it was the drugs making her that way.

Now he knew the truth.

She'd been slipping down a stretch of insanity for a year. Since their first jump, at least. Maybe even before then.

Crossing to the kitchen, he picked up the tea tray and dumped the whole thing in the bin. Slamming the tray back on the counter, he opened the fridge, prepared to toss out everything in there as well.

It was filled with steaks; packages and packages of steaks, stacked one on top of the other. On the shelves, in the door--yanking open the freezer, he saw them there as well--stacks and stacks of steaks.

Opening a cupboard, he saw boxes of energy bars and individual bottles of juice. Nothing but juice and energy bars.

Going down the row of cupboards, he opened all of them, peering inside: dishes, a pile of newspapers and a sheaf of paper, pens, crayons, file folders. There was nothing else. Nothing more inside any of the cupboards.

Slamming them shut, one after another, he leaned against the counter and took a deep, calming breath.

"Mickey."

Pushing away from the counter, he left the kitchen behind and stood in Rose's bedroom doorway. A chair was on its side next to her bed, the only thing made and neat looking in the entire flat. Pete was standing by the closet, with the door shut.

Mickey joined him and they stood side-by-side staring at the door, pasted top to bottom with calendars.

The pictures had been torn from them. Dates were circled in black marker, some he recognized. He pointed to one marked on the 25th of December 2005. "That's when he regenerated." Another circled repeatedly on the 4th of November 1987. "That's when you--er, her dad--died back in our original universe.

There were more years, and more circles, all from when she'd done something with the Doctor, he assumed. Some he couldn't be sure about. Most he was just guessing on.

But scattered over all of the calendars were numbers, scribbled every which way, covering all dates, all months, all years. Long strings of numbers that meant nothing to Mickey. They were everywhere, written in red marker.

"What are they?" he asked, looking at Pete.

Pete shook his head, scratching at the back of his neck. "I don't know. Could be-- but... how could she know them? They're stored in the retrieval devices and the computers. She doesn't actually see them. None of you do."

"See what?" Mickey asked, following a string scrawled along the entire top of the door. It carried over to the wall, slanting at an angle as it went by the hinges and then down the wall to the skirting board. Pulling his mobile out, he took several photos of it.

"Why're you doing that?"

Mickey shrugged. "Dunno. Hoping she's not crazy, is all." Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he turned around, examining the room more closely. "What if they're coordinates?"

"That's what I was thinking," Pete said, righting the chair by the window. Dropping into it, he put his head in his hands. "I still can't believe this." Glancing up at Mickey, he shook his head. "We haven't even told Tony. Jacks is... inconsolable."

"Let's get out of here," Mickey said, slapping him on the shoulder.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title:** Discordant  
> **Character/Pairing:** Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie  
> **Rating:** Adult  
> **Genre:** AU, Action/adventure, mystery, romance  
> **Summary:** Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?  
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who.  
> **Thanks:** to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing.

**(1 month later)**

Pete squeezed Jackie's hand as he sat beside her in the matching leather chairs in Dr. Brons' office.

"Mr. Tyler, Mrs. Tyler," Brons greeted them, his usual benign smile missing today.

Pete felt his heart sink.

Glancing at Jackie, he noted her pale face and the tension in her body. She could see the bad news coming just as easily as he could, probably more so since Rose was _her_ daughter.

"Dr.," Jackie said, leaning forward in her chair. She pulled her hand free of Pete's, straightening her shoulders. "How is she?"

Brons shook his head, mouth thinning into a tight line as he flipped open the file in front of him. "I'm afraid the new medications we had her on, Albiltrol and Terycycline, have actually made her worse. She's stopped sleeping, and her appetite is non-existent." He glanced up, catching Jackie's eye and holding it while he continued, "We had to stop them. We're trying a new drug now that has shown promise in many patients with Rose's type of psychosis."

Jackie stood up restlessly, tossing Brons an irritated glance. "And you're sure it's not the meds doing this to her in the first place?" Her voice was tight, strained, and Pete's heart ached for her. "She doesn't even recognize me, my own daughter."

Brons sighed, and Pete knew he was frustrated with Jackie's inability to accept that this wasn't being caused by the medications. But that was because she hadn't seen Rose's flat. She hadn't seen the insane ramblings written on the skirting boards and inside closets. He'd kept that from her. All of it. Jackie didn't need to know just how badly gone Rose was.

How deep her insanity ran.

He and Mickey had gone back to her flat a few times to clean up the mess, knowing Jackie would eventually go there for comfort and answers. They'd almost painted over the closet door, but at the last moment, working on a hunch, had hauled it to Torchwood instead, and brought in a new one, hanging it just hours before Jackie showed up.

"Mrs. Tyler, I'm sorry. In cases like this, it's very common--"

"Don't you say that," Jackie snapped, leaning over Brons' desk. "Don't you talk as if this happens all the time. It doesn't happen to my daughter, Dr. Brons. Not to my Rose."

Pete got up and wrapped his arm around his wife, wanting to do more to comfort her, but she was keeping him at a distance lately. Keeping him far enough away that he suspected she blamed him for Rose's condition.

Which was just as well. He blamed himself for it too. After all, he'd not seen it. Not seen just how unbalanced she'd been.

Dr. Brons stood up and circled around his desk, patting Jackie's hand with a kindly smile. "I'm very sorry, Mrs. Tyler. I wish I had better news, but these things take time." Dropping his arm to his side, he tossed Pete a significant look. "I told you coming down here wasn't necessary. I could've updated you over the phone."

Jackie made a small noise in the back of her throat and Pete felt her hackles rising. "I want to see her."

Shaking his head before her words were even fully formed, Brons moved back around to his chair and sat down, gesturing for them to do so as well. Jackie stayed where she was, Pete standing beside her. Sighing, Brons opened Rose's folder and lifted a few sheets over the top, holding them back. "I'm sorry, but, you can't see her today. She became agitated and needed to be sedated and restrained for--"

"What?" Jackie screeched and Pete winced, fighting the urge to cover his ears. "You put her in that padded cell again, didn't you?"

Pete dropped his arm from Jackie's shoulders, glaring at Dr. Brons in disbelief. "I told you not to lock her in there anymore," he snapped, closing in on Brons' desk. "Most places don't even have padded cells any longer, and yet you've--"

"Put her in there for her own safety," Brons said loudly, speaking over both of them and their protests. "She's developed a new symptom; tearing at her eyes. She seems to be trying to remove something, though there's nothing there."

Pete frowned, stomach and heart sinking at the pain on Jackie's face. This was beyond difficult for her. For nearly eighteen years it'd been just Rose and Jackie, mother and daughter. From the time the other him had died. Rose's real father. The man who was such a big influence on her life despite dying when she was less than a year old.

Pete himself felt like a failure next to that man. He'd rejected her once, essentially told her he didn't want her. He'd been overwhelmed at the time, had just lost his wife, his planet had been devastated by the Cybermen and Lumic, and then Rose had told him she was his daughter from another universe.

A daughter. A child he'd always wanted and his Jackie had never had time for.

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he sat back down. "Tell us about her."

Brons leaned back, watching Jackie expectantly for a moment, but gave up when she didn't sit down too. "We've checked her eyes, she can see just fine, but she keeps scratching and tearing at the skin around them as if she were trying to remove a blindfold."

"Why?" Jackie asked, and Pete was alarmed to hear the resignation in her voice. Since this whole thing began, since Rose had been institutionalized, Jackie had fought the doctors tooth and nail, every step of the way. Had been the person sticking up for Rose because she couldn't stick up for herself. Gave everyone hell when they didn't do as she wanted, didn't treat Rose with the respect and care that she deserved.

And Rose did deserve it.

Through her efforts, she'd brought the Dimension Cannons to Torchwood's attention. She'd obviously--obvious in hindsight--had her own agenda, but they'd still managed to find a few workable items that they could use for Earth's defense. Also an item here and there that they could sell for profit to the public.

Whether or not there was a danger of the fog coming--the darkness--Pete didn't know. He might never find out, since all jumping had ended a month ago when Rose was committed.

She'd been in no shape to talk for the first week, while they sedated her, tried to find the right dosage of drugs to help her condition. After that, she'd talked about everything under the sun, everything about the Doctor and aliens and traveling through time, but little of it made sense, and she hadn't seemed able to answer even the simplest of questions.

They were still in the midst of adjusting her meds, trying to make her coherent, but it seemed like everything they tried either failed or made her worse.

Blinking in confusion, Pete crossed one leg over the other and sat back, making the leather creak beneath him. "Is it the medication that caused this new symptom? The Albiltrol or Terycycline?"

Brons leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk, steepling his fingers and settling them just below his lips. "We don't think so, but we can't be sure until they're completely out of her system. Whatever it is," he assured them, "it's not a physical phenomenon. She's saying she needs to see, but can't, that she's blind and she can't see what she's supposed to see. That something's blocking her vision." Shaking his head, he pressed his lips tightly together and dropped his hands to his desk. "It could just be a part of her psychosis."

Pete nodded and looked to Jackie, who was wiping at her eyes. "All I know is that she was fine until she came here. And I don't care where she is, I want to see her." Piece said, she turned and left the room, waiting for Pete and Dr. Brons to join her.

*~*~*~*~*~*

**(1 month later)**

Blinking quickly to clear her vision, Rose lowered her head to her chest, looking at the man standing in her doorway, knowing as she did that he was her way out of here.

New orderly.

With any luck, and with the pills out of her system for three days now, she'd be able to think clearly enough for long enough to break out of her room and get to her secret place. A place no one else knew about.

Keeping her chin tucked to her chest, she watched him approach with her food tray.

He didn't seem to be too cautious; after all he'd just left the door open, and he wasn't even a very big man. In fact, he was rather on the short side. Yet he wasn't being stupid either and that could be a problem.

Eyes following his every movement, she rolled her head to the side, clutching at the cuffs around her wrists, watching as he set the tray down on her beside table, watching as he moved her journal aside to make room for it. Her heart stopped beating until he placed the journal back down again, further away from her, but giving him room to put the tray on the table without a chance of it falling off.

Slightly cautious.

Rolling her head to the side, trying to keep him in view as he moved closer, Rose waited, biding her time. She wouldn't make her move yet, not today, but maybe in another day or two, once she knew more about him.

First she had to lay the groundwork, so she smiled as he un-cuffed her hands, then sat up slowly, not having to fake the dizziness rushing through her. Closing her eyes for a moment, just a moment, she braced her hand against the bed. Something was wrong. She still couldn't see right. There was something on her eyes, something blocking her vision, and she was sure Brons and Santiago had something to do with it.

They'd put drops in her eyes. She remembered that.

Opening her eyes again, she looked up at the orderly, trying to appear as unthreatening as she could. Just a patient doing what she was told. Once she was free of this place, she could figure out what they'd done to her eyes, but for now, she slid her feet free of the covers after the orderly released her ankles.

Mouth dry from the heat in the room, she reached for the tall, plastic cup of milk with a shaky hand and drank half of it down before he halted her.

"Meds before food or you'll make yourself sick."

Holding her hand out, she waited while he dumped the pills into her palm, then tossed them into her mouth and drank them down with a few more gulps of milk. Thirst satisfied, she grabbed the sandwich off the tray and took a small bite of the dry bread and turkey, chewing slowly as he continued to watch her.

Definitely no slouch. This could be a big problem.

She'd have to be cleverer than him, that was all. Emptying her cup, keeping the pills tucked into her cheek, she finished half the sandwich.

But he still didn't leave.

Eyeing him in irritation, she asked, "You gonna watch me eat all the time? Not very fascinating, is it?"

He grunted in agreement and crossed his arms over his chest. "First day, I like to learn the ropes. Learn who's gonna be a problem, and who's not." His wide mouth, which, to her, resembled nothing more than a frog's mouth, thinned. "You're gonna be a problem, I think."

Rose scoffed, noting his Welsh accent. It didn't help any, but it was something to catalogue and tuck away for later.

*~*~*~*~*~*

**(2 weeks later)**

She was still here, and he was still watching her like a hawk.

"Open."

Rolling her eyes, Rose dutifully opened her hands and held them out, palms up, then opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue, staring at the ceiling while he inspected her like a horse up for auction.

"Close."

"Satisfied?" she sneered, sitting back on her bed and leaning against the wall. Her legs hung partially off the side, and she hated looking like a little kid to him, so she tucked her feet under her.

"Honey," he snickered, reaching down to grab the tray, "you have no idea of how to satisfy--"

"Oi, you're not supposed to talk like that to the patients," she complained, scrambling forward to grab her journal when he reached out to push it more securely onto the table. Holding it to her chest, she glared at him. Then scrambled forward to grab her pencil from the drawer. "You're a pervert and the Doctor's not gonna like you talkin' to me like that."

"Brons doesn't care," he said dismissively, walking to the door with her half-empty tray. Turning as he unlocked the door, he glanced back at her, and she wasn't sure if he was making sure she wasn't rushing him to escape, or if he was actually concerned about her, but his words startled her. "You need to eat more, Rose. You're wasting away."

She shrugged, not caring which it was. "Not hungry."

It took all of her willpower to eat as much as she did each day. Her appetite was gone, had disappeared sometime after arriving here. She'd eaten plenty on the outside.

Once the door had shut and locked behind him, she scrabbled off the bed, shoved her journal under the mattress, then ran into the loo. Though nothing like her bedroom back at her old flat, her room here wasn't too bad. She was the daughter of a prominent man, a famous man, a rich man. So her room here was rather nice.

Still, she missed her flat. Missed her bedroom and the--

"Rose, you need to stop this."

She glanced over her shoulder as she pulled a white painted brick free from under the pedestal sink. The Doctor was there, watching her with a frown, as he always did these days. Well, tough. Scooping the pills out from under her tongue, she tossed them in the hole and wiped her fingers on her pajama bottoms.

"Those medications are making you better." He moved beside her, kneeling down next to her. "You should be taking them. If Dr. Brons and Dr. Santiago--"

"Stop twining on and get out of my light."

"Oi, all right. But, I'm not the one two cans short of a picnic!" He held his hands up, stood up, and backed away from her.

Rubbing her aching head, she put the brick back and pulled the tube of toothpaste out of the cupboard. Squeezing some out, she quickly covered the grout lines, then washed her hands.

Glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one had come in, she dried her hands and turned to the Doctor with a sudden cold chill. "Stop it."

He raised his eyebrows at her, peering innocently through his glasses. "Stop what? I'm not doing anything. You're the one hiding your pills and getting more and more mental."

*~*~*~*~*~*

Jackie knew it was cliché, even as she did it, but she pressed a hand to the glass anyway, watching as her daughter struggled against her restraints. Rose was tipping her head back as far as she could, staring at the thick leather straps, talking to the empty room with an angry frown as she pulled and tugged, trying to free herself.

It hurt to see her like this, hurt Jackie's heart to watch her firstborn child so out of touch with reality.

For a few weeks, Rose had shown signs of improvement, but then, all of a sudden, she'd taken a turn for the worse again, becoming more paranoid, talking to the Doctor--Jackie bared her teeth, if she ever got her hands on that man, she'd regenerate him a few times--and scribbling random numbers and letters on the walls.

They just couldn't figure out what to do for her anymore. They were adjusting her meds almost on a daily basis, but it was doing nothing for her psychosis.

One of Rose's doctors joined her, standing beside her and watching through the round glass window as Rose scoffed at the imaginary person in the room, snapping out words and curling her lip up in disgust.

The Doctor.

Jackie wished to god they'd never met that man. Of course, straight on the heels of that thought, she always blessed him for all that he'd given her; her husband, her son, a new life, her daughter finally here on Earth, not off traveling through time and space in some magical blue box.

But, was Rose any better off? Absolutely not, and if she ever saw the Doctor again, she'd beg him to fix her, to make her better. And if the price was Rose leaving with him, and Jackie never seeing her daughter again, it was a price she'd pay without hesitation.

"Mrs. Tyler," the doctor beside her said softly. "Have you talked to Dr. Brons yet?"

Dropping her hand to her side, she closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, trying not to snap at the man, trying not to yell at him. He'd done nothing wrong, was only trying to help. She just didn't like him much. Something about him rubbed her the wrong way. Maybe because Rose didn't like him. "No. He was with a patient when I arrived."

"We started your daughter on a new medication yesterday, and she's shown some signs of improvement over the past few hours.

Feeling a dash of hope, she turned toward the man, trying to tamp down on the feeling. They'd been through this before, and every single time they'd ended up disappointed. Every time she thought there was a bit of a silver lining to all of this, it dissipated and she was left gasping for air; struggling to breathe as much as Rose was struggling with her restraints. "Dr. Harper--" she began, but he waved her off.

"Name's Owen."

"Dr. Harper, my daughter's lying strapped to a bed, talking to thin air, and you're telling me she's getting better?" Watching Rose lift her head from the bed and snap at a figment of her imagination, Jackie felt anger go through her. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. This wasn't how their lives were supposed to end up. And she hated the man beside her. Hated everyone in this universe just a little bit. "I wanna see her."

He shifted on his feet, watching her for a moment before nodding and pulling his keys free. "All right, but don't be expectin' miracles. She's showing improvement, but that doesn't mean--"

"I know." Brushing past him, she entered the room and moved slowly toward Rose.

Rose's head lifted up, eyes finding Jackie's. A tremulous smile broke out on her face. "Mum?" But then her gaze slid to Dr. Harper and her smile slipped away. "You brought the orderly with you."

Confused, Jackie looked at Owen. "What's she mean?"

Dr. Harper shrugged and began undoing Rose's restraints. "She thinks I'm an orderly, is all."

Jackie sat down beside Rose and took her hand once it was free, holding it tightly. "Rose, sweetheart, this is Dr. Owen Harper. He's one of your doctors."

He nodded at Rose, then stepped back. "We've met." Dipping his head to catch Rose's eyes, he smiled. "Several times."

But Rose didn't care about Owen or who he was. She sat up and immediately enveloped Jackie in a tight hug. "Mummy, I've missed you."

Jackie wrapped her arms around Rose, burying her nose in her daughter's hair. Beneath the scents of cleaner and disinfectant soap and the smell that all hospitals seemed to have in common, she smelt like Rose. Just Rose. And Jackie's heart broke a little more. It shouldn't be so hard to find her daughter in all this mess. "Sweetheart. I just saw you yesterday." Pulling back, she smoothed her hand down the blonde strands, trying not to look too closely at the fading scars around her eyes. "Don't you remember? We sat outside and read that magazine that you like with all the--"

Rose's eyes were on Owen, full of irritation. "I don't like you," she muttered, scooting away and retreating into the corner where she began scratching at the inside of her arm. "The Doctor says you're all right, but I think you're an arse."

"Rose," Jackie chided, sitting back and staring at her daughter. Rose's hair, dark blonde, was starting to fade. It was limp and lifeless, with no style to it whatsoever. She'd grown it out a bit over the years, but had always kept it trimmed a few inches past her shoulders. Her roots were clearly showing, and had been for quite some time now. And her skin was just as colorless as the strands hanging down on either side of her face. Jackie stood up with a sigh. "We're going outside," she told Dr. Harper. "She needs some sun. Look at her, she looks like death."

Owen looked them over with a brief nod. "I'll alert security."

After he'd left the room, locking the door behind him, Jackie rolled her eyes. In all the time she'd been here, Rose had never tried to escape, not once. She didn't understand their concern regarding the matter. They were rather strict with Rose. Because of her psychosis Dr. Brons told her and Pete, but sometimes Jackie wondered.

Scooting over to Rose, she leaned her daughter's head against her shoulder, smoothing her hand down the strands again. "You need a good conditioning, Rose. Maybe I'll come by this weekend and we can make a day out of it, yeah? Just you and me," she glanced at the locked door, hearing the boots of approaching guards, "and the guards," she sighed. "Just like we used to."

Rose snuggled up against her side, arms wrapping tight around her. "Can we?"

She was just about to answer when the door locks turned and Dr. Harper peered into the room. "Ready?" A security guard stood behind him and Jackie rolled her eyes.

"Where's she gonna go in this condition, you bloody pillock?"

Dr. Harper smiled tightly and left the room. "Thirty minutes," he called over his shoulder. "That's all you get."

Moving to the edge of the bed, she stood and gestured to Rose. "Come on, sweetheart, let's go before Dr. Ratched comes back."

Rose climbed to her feet with a giggle and stood by her side, biting her thumbnail and looking at the door, beyond which the security guard was stationed. "The Doctor wants to know why you're sad, Mum."

Tears burning in her eyes, she bent down, grabbing Rose's trainers from under her bed, then knelt beside her, tapping each leg so Rose would lift it and she could slip her shoes on. "Tony misses you," she mumbled, picking the first thing that came to mind to keep Rose from worrying about her.

The trainers weren't Rose's usual style, of course, what with them not allowing laces. In case she tried to hurt herself with them. But they'd do.

Jackie could've told them they were being foolish--and, indeed, had--that Rose would never injure herself, but they did what _they_ thought was best. Straightening up, she looked at Rose and felt a modicum of normalcy go through her. With trainers, black jeans, a white t-shirt, outer shirt, and a red and gray hoodie partially zipped up, she didn't look like a mental patient about to have a few minutes of fresh air under guard.

She looked like Rose Tyler. She looked like Jackie's daughter again.

Heading into the loo, she grabbed Rose's hairbrush and slipped it into her pocket. "Come on, let's go." She rapped heavily on the door.

The guard opened it and they went into the hall and down two more, on their way outside, the guard following the entire way. It was a relatively easy exit into the yard out back, for all that they were worried about locks and security. She pushed open the last door and took in a deep breath of cool air, needing to erase the smells of the hospital from her head.

It was a small yard, just a few hundred meters in all, lined in hedges, and there was even a gate to the outside world. The guard headed in that direction, taking up his standard position next to the only way in or out, while Rose and Jackie headed toward a wrought iron bench by the little garden. A huge oak tree hung over the scene and though it looked pretty and idyllic, it was terrifying to Jackie.

That something so beautiful hid something so dark... it reminded her too much of the Doctor.

Rose sat sideways on the bench, letting Jackie brush her hair and gab, going on about this and that. Pete's new job, Tony's day at school, Tosh throwing Mickey out. Again. That Ryan boy that came to visit sometimes to ask about Rose. She wasn't exactly sure who he was, but she knew he was the boy Mickey had told her about, the one with a crush on Rose.

"He seems to care quite a bit about you, Rose."

Ten minutes of this and she felt like crying. Rose wasn't offering anything back, merely listening and staring at the flowers in front of her.

Another five minutes, and Jackie swiped at the tears running down her cheeks. She just wished Rose would talk to her. About anything. What she had for breakfast, what lights-out was like, what the girl down the hall meant when she said 'red riding hood is in the loo'.

She even missed her rude manners and wished she'd snap at her, tell her to shut it or something.

"Mum."

Jackie's head snapped up, and she tucked Rose's hair behind her ear. She'd been so distracted that she'd stopped brushing it a few minutes back. Her hair was shining now and staticky. "Yes, sweetheart?"

Rose's eyes shifted to hers and she turned clumsily on the bench, facing straight ahead, but her voice-- Jackie gaped at her, her voice was clear and level. Lucid.

"Shut your jaw, Mum, and just listen to me." She kicked her legs out in front of her, bracing her arms on the bench like she used to as a little girl. Her eyes darted to the guard across from them and she hissed, "Don't let him know anything is different. Act normal, like I'm still mental."

Jackie nodded dumbly. "You're not?"

Rose scoffed and tossed Jackie a dirty look. "No. They've been keeping me drugged because I found out something, and they don't want Pete and the rest of Torchwood to know." She sighed and tucked her hair behind both ears, resuming her kicking while Jackie tried to keep the grin off her face.

"Rose, I can't believe it, you're all right? You're okay?"

She nodded and tossed another look at the guard. "Yeah, for now. Haven't been taking the meds for a few days and I can finally think straight." She scratched at the inside of her arm some more, drawing her sleeves up to do so.

"I'll tell Pete, I'll get him to--"

"No, Mum," she snapped, biting back more harsh words and closing her eyes to calm herself. "I'm sorry, I'm still..."

Jackie touched her shoulder. "It's all right, Rose."

Her eyes slid to Jackie's, full of seriousness. "I need to get out of here. I found out some things and I hid the information away, but they were pumping me full of drugs to get me institutionalized so I couldn't talk, and the drugs made me forget."

Jackie gaped at her, then slid her eyes to the guard to get the look on Rose's face, in her eyes, out of her head. She was scared. Honestly terrified, and Jackie wanted nothing more than to hurt every single one of these people who'd hurt her daughter. "Rose, this sounds like something out of a movie, are you sure you're--"

"Yes," she hissed in annoyance and Jackie actually smiled at the familiar tone of her voice. "It's Brons and Santiago, they've been working on secret projects-- the fog... it's, look, Mum, just-- I need your help to get out of here so I can go get the information and stop them. Otherwise, Earth is in trouble." Tears came to her eyes and her voice shook. "They've... they've destroyed whole worlds, Mum. Billions of people. Just to test out their weapon. To hone it."

"What can I do?" Jackie asked, shaking her head. "I can talk to your father, but--"

"No, they'll kill him. You can't tell him," Rose pleaded, turning toward her and grabbing her hands imploringly. "Promise me, Mum." When Jackie hesitated, unsure if this was a good idea, unsure whether she fully believed Rose, unsure what she could do to stop any of this, Rose begged, "Please."

She tightened her fingers around Rose's and nodded, releasing one hand to cup Rose's face. "All right, tell me what to do. But." She looked straight into Rose's eyes. "You promise me you'll get Mickey and Jake to help you. I don't want you doing this all on your own."

Rose smiled, and for the first time in months, Jackie felt like things were going to be okay again. "I promise." Her eyes moved to the guard again, and her smiled slipped away. "We need to get the guard away from the gate, or-- or distract him somehow," she said thoughtfully. "There's a mild charge running through the hedges, which is why all the signs."

Jackie knew this much, but what she didn't know was how Rose intended to overcome that. "The shock will stun you. You can't climb over them."

Waving her hand at that, Rose stood up. "Follow me." She ambled slowly over to some dead flowers and knelt down to pick a few.

The guard's eyes followed them at first, but he soon grew bored.

In the midst of picking up a few of the dead sunflower stems, Rose gave Jackie a look to join her. "I'm going to make my way to that hedge there." She looked straight ahead and picked up a few dead leaves. "They still think I'm mental, so they won't be watching me that closely. Once I get there, you need to go talk to the guard. Just keep him occupied for a minute. That's all I need."

The hedges weren't very tall, but this still didn't seem like a good plan to her. "How do I keep him occupied?" she scoffed, glancing at the large, redheaded man. He was much taller than Pete. And a bit scary looking. No guns, but that baton on his belt looked scary.

"I dunno," Rose snapped, keeping her voice low. "Flirt with him. I know it's been a few years, but you were always really good at it." She rolled her eyes and looked back to the dead leaves she was gathering. "The butcher, the postman, the--"

"All right, all right," Jackie snapped back, growing irritated. Despite that, she wouldn't trade her daughter's sanity for anything in the world. She leaned forward and hugged Rose. "It's good to have you back, sweetheart, smart mouth and all."

Rose grinned, then crawled a little further up the walk toward a bush with no leaves. She began to pick at it, doing a rather good job of pretending she was mental. "Ready?" she asked, digging in the dirt, looking so innocuous that Jackie had to bite back a grin.

"Yeah."

"Go on then," Rose told her, shooing Jackie with a look.

Jackie stood up and brushed her hands off, watching Rose for a minute, trying to look as bored as she could. She stretched her neck and sighed, then glanced around. Walking to a plant, she stared at it, then reached out to idly touch a branch. Letting go of it, watching it sway back and forth, she walked a ways away, staring into the hospital window at the nurses and orderlies going about their duties.

The guard was watching her now. She snuck a few glances at him out of the corner of her eye. "Rose," she called loudly, "come on, let's stop playing with the plants now."

Rose ignored her, like Jackie knew she would. She grabbed a few more branches and dead stalks, placing them in a neat row on the walk.

Jackie sighed again. "Have it your way then." Rolling her eyes so the guard could see, she headed over to him, giving him the up and down. Rose was right, it'd been a few years, but she still knew how to flirt. "Oi, she's on one of her things, you know. Be ages before she loses interest in the plants."

The guard nodded politely, but didn't say anything. His eyes dropped to her chest briefly and she hid a smirk. Still had it then.

"I don't understand her fascination with them," she told him, shrugging with her best dumb blonde routine. "They're just plants. Dead ones even. Well, whatever it is, it's beyond me."

"Yes, ma'am," he muttered, loosening up a little, not standing quite so stiff and straight.

Scratching the back of her head, she tossed her arm out at the plants next to the window of the hospital, on the opposite side from Rose. "This place is pretty. Do you have a gardener?" She tsked a bit and raised a brow. "I've got one. Well, I've got a whole passel of 'em really. Never seen them though. I always tell Pete, 'Pete', I say-- Pete's my husband. Pete, I say, there's no need for..." she shrugged carelessly, "all of them, is there. I've a big place. A really--" biting her lip, she frowned at herself, wondering what the hell kind of flirting this was.

She was out of practice, yes, but generally, bringing up ones husband wasn't considered a good flirting technique.

Sniffing importantly, she yawned and stretched, noting his eyes' journey to her chest again. Her blouse was a bit revealing, but in a tasteful way. At least, that's what she'd been told by the fashion lady she'd gone to. "He's not home much though." And if that wasn't the truth she didn't know what was. "Works late all the time." Again, complete truth, especially now that he was back at Torchwood central.

This spy/intrigue thing wasn't hard, she just had to tell the truth and seem a bit flirty while doing so. Easy as--

"Oi!" the guard shouted, grabbing her by the shoulders and bodily lifting her out of his way.

She danced to the side, then back again, staying in his way as long as she could before he just shoved her to the side, running to where Rose was climbing up the hedge, moving faster than Jackie'd expected her to go. There was a buzzing sound that faded and grew in second-long intervals and she realized, in horror, that it was electricity.

"Rose, just get down from there!"

But Rose wasn't paying her any attention. She jerked her leg free of the guard's grip as he made a grab for her, radioing for help at the same time. She scaled the hedge, stopped at the top for a moment, looked back once, and then was gone.

Rose was gone.

Just on the other side of the hedge, but Jackie suddenly felt like she'd never see her again.

The guard ran straight at her, and, giving Rose as much time as possible, Jackie closed her eyes, braced herself, and stepped directly in his way, arms grabbing at him as he ran straight into her. They both fell to the ground and she heard something crack.

Pain shot through her arm as the guard scrambled up, trying to disentangle himself from her grip. Other guards came running out the door, and there were shouts and yells and orders being snapped, but Jackie just lay on the brown grass, staring up at the sky, laughing.

Rose was free, and she was okay.

"Ma'am, are you all right?"

Jackie glanced at the person hanging over her and nodded. "My arm's broken," she laughed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Title:** Discordant  
> **Character/Pairing:** Rose, Pete, Mickey, Jackie  
> **Rating:** Adult  
> **Genre:** AU, Action/adventure, mystery, romance  
> **Summary:** Rose Tyler traveled through universes to get back to the Doctor. What did she see in those universes, and how did they affect her?  
> **Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who.  
> **Thanks:** to momdaegmorgan for the beta, and the prompt, and the constant inspiration to finish this thing.

A car drove by, across the bridge, and Rose turned her back to the street, examining her hands. They weren't as bad as she'd first thought. Certainly the pain had lessened a great deal.

Climbing that hedge hadn't been nearly as difficult as she'd expected. The electricity was high enough that it should've stunned her, but it hadn't. Adrenaline and sheer determination were certainly a part of that reason, but not all. Maybe it was busted.

Glancing behind her, she kept her head down. The car was gone.

It probably wasn't anyone looking for her anyway, but she couldn't be too careful. Maybe they knew about this place. Knew that it was special to her, significant. Maybe they had people stationed all around it, waiting for her.

Darting her eyes about, she took note of every person in her path. An old man walking down the bridge toward her, cane tapping with every step. Three teenagers laughing across the way. She didn't _think_ any of them were Santiago's men, but she couldn't be sure. Hiding her singed hands in the pockets of her hoodie, she ducked her head down and headed toward the Eye.

Hood up, she went down the stairs quickly, glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one was following her, then dropped beside the manhole.

It was tight, much tighter than when she'd come here months ago.

Straightening up, she checked again to make sure she wasn't being observed, then dropped back down to her knees and yanked as hard as she could. The handle turned with a loud screech and she quickly opened the hatch, dropping down into the bowels of the London Eye before anyone noticed her. It was darker down here, but the path was a familiar one; one she'd taken several times before.

Once with the Doctor and once on her own. She hurried along the pathways, shivering, keeping her eyes cast down and her aching hands in her pockets. Avoiding looking at the Doctor as he trailed along beside her.

"Rose, you can still go back. Please. I just... I need you to go back."

She ignored him, knowing he was with _them_. With the doctors. He wanted her to stay stuck in that institution for the rest of her life. Wanted her locked up just like Brons and Santiago and Pete did. She knew the truth.

She _knew_.

Thankfully they hadn't got to her mum yet. Sighing, she brushed away a few stray tears. She was never gonna see her again. She'd never smell her soft scent or hear her familiar voice. Never see Tony again either.

Crying harder now, she went down another ladder and crossed to the spot where the Doctor had talked with the Nestene Consciousness all those years ago.

It was just like it was in the other universe. Only this time there was no Doctor.

"I'm right here, Rose."

She didn't look at him, his brown pinstriped suit was a lie. _He_ was a lie. "You're not the Doctor." She sniffed sharply, digging into the wall, pulling out the jumper she'd hidden there months before. "You don't even look like him."

Brown trousers stepped up beside her and she stood up, turning her back on him as she grabbed a piece of sharp metal. "I told you not to do this. Do you remember? Back at your flat. Think, Rose."

She scoffed rudely and pried at the little door on the jumper with the piece of metal. If she were right, there was a computer chip in there that she needed to set. The back of the plastic casing popped off and she stared down at the miscellaneous components. This wasn't what she'd been expecting, but... it would work.

"Rose... Rose, I'm begging you, don't do this."

Ignoring him, she took a deep breath, grabbed the piece of metal tightly in her hand and breathed out, then in again, then dug the sharp end into her skin about eight inches above her wrist. Pain tore through her and she screamed, throwing her head back as she dragged the bit of metal down the side of her arm, avoiding major veins, all the way to her wrist.

"Rose," he whispered mournfully.

Gasping, trying to breathe past the pain, she dropped the bloodied metal to the floor and watched as blood streamed down her arm. It hurt, was incredibly painful, and yet, didn't feel like she'd thought it would.

Staring at the tear in her skin, she saw small, shining bits of plastic inside. Her retrieval device.

Curling her lip up in disgust, she dug into the wound and screamed again. Her fingers felt like sandpaper against her raw, open flesh. She touched nerve endings, and bone and had to force herself to keep a grip on the slippery piece of plastic. But then she was pulling it free and it slipped from her arm with a squelching sound.

When she looked up, she was alone.

Setting the device carefully on the ground, she shed herself of her hoodie and outer shirt, then drew off her t-shirt, awkwardly pulling this way and that to get it off before grabbing her makeshift tool again. She held the shirt between her teeth and her knees and stabbed at the stretchy white material, dragging the metal down, tearing into the fabric.

Once she reached the end, she twisted the shirt around a few inches and did it again, making a strip. Wrapping that quickly around her arm, she tied it once, pulling it with her teeth, and then again. She tasted blood, and wiped her mouth with her other hand.

She was sweating and shaking.

Dropping the metal, she picked up the retrieval device and used the rest of her t-shirt to wipe it free of blood and dirt. There, on one side was a set of numbers. Her last jump.

She picked up the jumper and the piece of metal and went about setting the coordinates for the last planet she'd jumped to; Eric's jumper was her ticket home.

When she was done, she flipped the retrieval device over and pried off the casing, fingers slipping in the blood still covering it. Grabbing her t-shirt, she carefully wiped it clean, and tried again, using her nails to slip under the smooth edge that she knew was there. Santiago had shown them the device before implanting it into their arms. She knew how it worked and knew how to shut if off.

All she had to do was open the casing and touch something sharp to the tiny red switch inside.

Gritting her teeth as she pulled, she grunted when it finally flew open, stopped by the small inside hinges that allowed it to seal itself tight. The tip of the metal was just a little too big and she managed to touch a few other doodads in the process. Didn't matter. She'd take it with her just in case, but she didn't intend to use it.

The Doctor was waiting for her in her real universe, her proper universe.

Shutting the casing, she shoved the retrieval device into her jean pocket and stood up, slipping her arms back into her shirt and hoodie. She did the zip all the way up, patted her pocket to make sure her journal was still there, then pulled the hood back over her head. This was it; it was now or never.

If she took too long to think about it, she might lose her nerve.

She knew that the last jump had been her home universe. She knew that the Doctor had been there. But she might've got the coordinates wrong. Might've screwed something up in taking one apart and the other out of her arm.

Didn't matter.

If she didn't do this, she'd be miserable the rest of her life, locked up in some loony bin.

Now, she thought, looking at her bloodied arm, they couldn't pull her back.

Kicking the bloodied pieces of metal into the pit, she stood on the edge, watching as they fell. A plunking sound reached her ears when they hit the bottom. Feeling a bit woozy, she stepped back, catching herself on the railing.

Now or never.

Connecting the back of the jumper to itself, she paused a moment, looking around at Pete's world one last time, then slapped her hand over the button.

She wasn't used to the feelings anymore, and she hadn't prepared herself, so when she felt the tugging, and the tugging turned into pulling, the pulling into tearing, she screamed. Her arm was the least of her pains. Her entire body felt like it was being torn to shreds and then squashed back together again in all the wrong ways.

Then she was falling, dropping, landing hard on her back on the metal flooring underneath the London Eye.

She caught her breath with a gasp, drawing in air like a drowning victim, sucking in as much as she could as her body continued to reshape itself.

Then it all faded, all but her previous aches and pains and major flesh wounds.

Opening her eyes, she saw the familiar ceiling, saw the red glow she'd just left, and-- inhaling, she closed her eyes and concentrated. This... this was a different universe. Different smells. Different sounds.

Rolling to her side, she looked over the edge. She didn't know if it was her imagination or not, but she thought she could see little bits of exploded Nestene Consciousness all over down there.

Chuckling, she pushed to her knees, then her feet, hanging on to the railing to drag herself up.

She bent down to grab the jumper and nearly fell face first back to the floor, but managed to stay upright through sheer force of will. Sticking the device in her hoodie pocket, she took one last look around, then ran up the metal stairs to the top. Down the narrow walkway, up the ladder and--twisting the handle awkwardly with one good arm and one bad--into the bright sunshine of a beautiful autumn day.

Laughing, she slammed the cover down and spun in a slow circle, staring up at the empty sky.

"I'm home," she whispered, gaze darting to everything she could feast them on, then she threw her arms up and shouted. "I'm home!"

"Yeah, yeah," a voice said to her right. "Pipe down, we're all home. Whoopededoo."

Dropping her arms, she smiled at the man, not letting his dower manner bring her down, then dashed up the steps. Cars zoomed past and she grinned for a second before patting down her pockets, looking for her mobile. Hoodie pockets, nothing. Jeans, no.

Oh, no.

She'd had the foresight to grab her journal from under the mattress while her mum was in the loo, had even shoved it in the waistband of her jeans, but she didn't have her mobile. She'd left it behind. It was with her stuff at the institution, if even there. Her mum had probably taken it home. But it didn't matter because it wasn't here with her. She didn't have a way to contact the Doctor.

Panic shot through her, burrowing into her heart as she realized that she might've traded one prison for another. He might never come back here. Might never come to a place or time where she was.

She still might never see him again.

Shoving her hood back, she leaned over, fighting nausea. Tears filled her eyes and she let them flow. there was no sense holding them back anymore. Misery filled her up, leaving behind no room for anything else. Retching, she threw up a little and stumbled back. Straight into someone.

"Excuse me, you all right?" the woman asked, holding Rose's back to steady her.

Rose shook her head. "I can't find the Doctor." She raised her head, lip trembling. "I finally made it home, and now I've lost the Doctor." Swallowing down the tears, and the bile in the back of her throat, she grabbed the woman's wrist, startling her, but Rose barely noticed. "Do you-- do you know where I can find the Doctor?"

"I-- I'm sorry," the woman stammered, prying at Rose's grip. Her wide eyes searched the cars and people around them, looking nearly as panicked as Rose felt. "I don't... do you _need_ a doctor?" She pulled her mobile out of her purse and held it out. "I can call an ambulance." She whimpered and bent down a little. "Please, miss, you're hurting me."

Rose released her arm and spun away. She was no help. She didn't know the Doctor. Grabbing a man walking by, she stopped him. "Have you seen the Doctor?" Her head was beginning to pound, and with a sinking heart, she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Rose, I told you not to do this."

She glanced behind her at the phony Doctor. "Shut up," she told him, releasing the man and spinning toward the fake Doctor, pointing her finger at him, forcing him to walk backward away from her. "You're not him, stop pretending you are."

The man she'd grabbed went around her in a wide circle. "You're mental, you are."

A couple of women gave her a wide berth, but she ran after them. "D'you know where the Doctor is? Have you seen him?" she asked the brunette, then turned to the blonde. "I need to find him. He doesn't know I'm here. He'll want to know." They continued to walk and she walked backward in front of them.

The blonde made a disgusted sound and hurried past her. "Come on, Sharon."

Tears burned her eyes and she grabbed at another person and another, trying to get them to understand, trying to get them to hear her, but they didn't care. People were hurrying by her now, crossing as far away from her as possible, trying to avoid her. She wanted to scream, to be heard, but no one was paying her any attention.

"Miss, are you all right?" a man called, and she spun toward him.

As soon as she saw his uniform, she backed away. "I'm fine," she told the policeman, pulling her hood over her head and trying to walk the other way, but his hand on her arm stopped her. She flinched and jerked away, cradling her arm to her chest. "Leave me alone."

"You're bleeding," he said in a nice, calm manner, reaching out to take her arm. She let him, and he wrapped his fingers loosely around her wrist, gently pulling the sleeve up and out of the wound. "Did you..." he sucked in a breath, and grabbed her other wrist to keep her in place when she tried to pull away.

The Doctor stood beside him, watching as he pulled the t-shirt free. "He thinks you're mental, Rose. Thinks you tried to off yourself. Now you'll be locked up in _this_ universe."

Rose jerked her arm back and glared at the Doctor. "That's not true. I didn't try to kill myself."

The cop frowned at her, then at the Doctor. "Who're you talking to?"

"The fake Doctor," she muttered, pulling at her other arm. "Can I go now?"

"You do this to yourself?" he asked, untying the t-shirt and exposing the wound in her arm with another sucked in breath. "You need a doctor, miss, right away. This is deep. Come on."

The Doctor slipped his hands in his pockets, peering at her sadly. "I told you this would happen."

Rose tried to free herself again, but the cop held her tightly while dragging her along.

"Charlie!" he called out, heading toward a squad car parked down the street with a man in it. "Little help here?"

Charlie got out of the car and Rose shook her head, fighting the cop's grip even harder now. "No, you can't take me in, he'll never find me in there. I can't go back there. Please, don't take me to Torchwood. Please!" she screamed, twisting her body this way and that as Cop and Charlie tried to subdue her. "Don't take me to Torchwood. I need to find the Doctor! Please!"

She began to get dizzy, seeing all the people surrounding them. Seeing all the faces watching them struggle, none of them caring about her. They thought she was mental too, but she wasn't. She wasn't!

"The Doctor! I've got to find the TARDIS!"

"Miss," Charlie gasped, wrestling her body to the ground until she was on her stomach on the walk, journal pressing into her abdomen. "Calm down. We'll get you to a doctor."

But they didn't understand. Not just any doctor, she needed _her_ Doctor. _The_ Doctor.

When Cop put his knee into her back and Charlie grabbed her uncut arm, she screamed in pain. Startled, Charlie tightened his grip on her, making Cop dig even deeper into her bruised back.

The Doctor watched it all from a few feet away, watched through his stupid glasses.

As darkness settled into her vision, she laid her head on the sidewalk, thinking to herself, the Doctor doesn't even wear glasses.


End file.
